PP-Cracked up, except

My 16 month old and I were visiting a relative who sadly has a drinking problem. Other relatives were also visiting so a few of us were in the room. My toddler somehow finds an empty vodka bottle/flask and prys it out of the couch cushions. Very proud of herself she holds it up and happily exclaims "Appy Douche" (meaning apple juice). We all ceacked up, ecept for my alcoholic cousin-lol.

That reminds me of one time I was on an airplane and I got out my metal water bottle which I had filled with water before takeoff. It has a built in nozzle that you flip open. As I opened it, the water burst out in a big stream almost landing on the person in the seat in front of me.

doodlebug wrote:Not as funny as the pp's but here's mine.

I am a nanny and I take care of an almost four yr old girl and her 2 yr old twin siblings. This past week we went on a longish bus ride to a cool park we don't usually go to, but I think we stayed too long because the 4 yr old was getting cranky when we left (maybe because we were leaving?) She was pretty obstinate and demanded watching a certain TV show (she's allowed a show before nap while I put the twins to bed). I said don't hold your breath (she also has to at least somewhat earn the show.) She stomped her foot and said I WANT TO HOLD MY BREATH!

Another time I was on vacation in Seattle and stopped on the waterfront for fish and chips. There's a covered eating area outdoors and there were some birds (pigeons and seagulls) who got in and were scavenging for food. One of my fries ended up on the table somehow so I flicked it for the birds. When I flicked it, instead of it landing on the floor like I intended, I went straight up in the air and landed about 3 tables away right in front of a guy who was sitting there eating. He was so puzzled and was looking all around and up at the ceiling trying to figure out where it came from. Everyone was in the area was minding their own business eating and I was trying to play it cool like I had no idea where this rogue fry came from but was laughing so hard inside (and laugh every time I think of it.) I'm not sure he ever did figure out where that came from.

Oh my Gosh. I really laughed out loud for a while with that.

It reminds me of when I was a kid and my friends and I used to hang out at Montgomery Mall and drop tiny, inoffensive things- like a tiny piece of shredded paper/cardboard, a clump of dirt, a fry, etc down from the balcony onto the first floor.

Two of the three in our group would stand across and watch the person's (usually puzzled, sometimes angry) reaction while the "dropper" skedaddled so even if they were to look up and go out of their way to see up the person would be gone.

We never got caught and oh man, it was funny as hell. We were little shits, obviously- but man was it funny.

Not as funny as the pp's but here's mine.

I am a nanny and I take care of an almost four yr old girl and her 2 yr old twin siblings. This past week we went on a longish bus ride to a cool park we don't usually go to, but I think we stayed too long because the 4 yr old was getting cranky when we left (maybe because we were leaving?) She was pretty obstinate and demanded watching a certain TV show (she's allowed a show before nap while I put the twins to bed). I said don't hold your breath (she also has to at least somewhat earn the show.) She stomped her foot and said I WANT TO HOLD MY BREATH!

Another time I was on vacation in Seattle and stopped on the waterfront for fish and chips. There's a covered eating area outdoors and there were some birds (pigeons and seagulls) who got in and were scavenging for food. One of my fries ended up on the table somehow so I flicked it for the birds. When I flicked it, instead of it landing on the floor like I intended, I went straight up in the air and landed about 3 tables away right in front of a guy who was sitting there eating. He was so puzzled and was looking all around and up at the ceiling trying to figure out where it came from. Everyone was in the area was minding their own business eating and I was trying to play it cool like I had no idea where this rogue fry came from but was laughing so hard inside (and laugh every time I think of it.) I'm not sure he ever did figure out where that came from.

Anonymous wrote:I hope this thread isn't met with crickets.

Some guy sat next to me at the public park & a bunch of baby powder came shooting out if the back of this shorts! It was absolutely hilarious & gross. Anyone have anything funny happen to them lately?

Thank you for sharing this. I laughed really hard at the image.

Possibly the hardest I've ever laughed was when my mom once sat on our fabric couch in a dress that had apparently slid up under her butt and the clasp in the crotch of her girdle (or whatever her undergarment was) got hooked onto the seat cushion, which was attached to her ass when she stood up and tried to walk away.

Anonymous wrote:Hope this is as funny reading as it was when it happened...

I am bulgarian and we can handle our alcohol pretty well. Well a family friend (he was American) came over our house years ago. My dad loves entertaining and he never leaves a guest's glass empty. Well, my dad was serving some bulgarian home made liquor (rakia), which is really strong and our friend was definitely not used to drinking it. Every time the glass was empty he would refill it. This went on for over an hour. Our friend who was a large man was handling it well or so we thought. Until he got up to use the bathroom. As he stood up, his pants fell straight to the floor. We all just stared in disbelief and didn't know what to say. Well he just bent down and pulled up his pants like nothing happened and went to the bathroom. At which point we all dispersed to different areas because we were dying laughing, hoping he didn't hear us. It was so awkward and we never said a word when he came back.

That is hilarious! You, too, OP!

Hope this is as funny reading as it was when it happened...

I am bulgarian and we can handle our alcohol pretty well. Well a family friend (he was American) came over our house years ago. My dad loves entertaining and he never leaves a guest's glass empty. Well, my dad was serving some bulgarian home made liquor (rakia), which is really strong and our friend was definitely not used to drinking it. Every time the glass was empty he would refill it. This went on for over an hour. Our friend who was a large man was handling it well or so we thought. Until he got up to use the bathroom. As he stood up, his pants fell straight to the floor. We all just stared in disbelief and didn't know what to say. Well he just bent down and pulled up his pants like nothing happened and went to the bathroom. At which point we all dispersed to different areas because we were dying laughing, hoping he didn't hear us. It was so awkward and we never said a word when he came back.

I was so excited at work this week to be able to use my 4 years of high school French (I was admitting someone at the hospital and was told she spoke French). Yay! I've been waiting 20 years for this moment. She didn't seem to respond, or understand, but was saying some things I didn't know , so I said "parlez vous Francais? Je parle Francais." And then I just blurted out "French?"

She replied "bitch please, I ain't talking no French. That was my Espanol. I thought your ass was Spanish."

I'm Italian. We just stared at each other and then just spoke in English the rest of the time.

The admissions admin at least had the decency not to laugh *too* hard though another doc asked me if I had to "wee wee" (oui oui) when I went on break later

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL! That's so funny OP! I dont know how you kept from cracking up!

Did he act embarrassed?

I seriously don't think he noticed. I had to walk away because tears were coming down my face. Had to get out before I burst into laughter.

That is the funniest thing I think I've ever head. I would have been crying too.

I can't think of anything in my life that compares.

Though, now that I live in a city with crazy aggressive drivers, I always get a really good chuckle when someone tries to zip around and speed and ends up with little old grandma- driving me at the next spotlight. Or worse- somehow gets left behind.

But that's not a good story like yours!

Anonymous wrote:LOL! That's so funny OP! I dont know how you kept from cracking up!

Did he act embarrassed?

I seriously don't think he noticed. I had to walk away because tears were coming down my face. Had to get out before I burst into laughter.

Anonymous wrote:Speaking of crack, I watched someone bend over to tie their shoe laces and saw major butt crack. Why does plumber's butt never gets old?

"Get". sorry, on my phone

Speaking of crack, I watched someone bend over to tie their shoe laces and saw major butt crack. Why does plumber's butt never gets old?

LOL! That's so funny OP! I dont know how you kept from cracking up!

Did he act embarrassed?

I hope this thread isn't met with crickets.

Some guy sat next to me at the public park & a bunch of baby powder came shooting out if the back of this shorts! It was absolutely hilarious & gross. Anyone have anything funny happen to them lately?