OP here. I admit the tantrum was not our finest parenting moment. I wouldn't have done it but I sort of understand. Our son is dangerously skinny and when he doesn't eat he melts down. But this is also a week of tough days that have worn us down. We don't usually let him have a cone so it won't spill. Letting him have a cone on top was supposed to be a special treat. Alas.

As for our 1 year old eating ice cream it isn't an every day occurrence. She had a little on vacation which I don't see as a total failure for me. She gets lots of health food and is a great eater.

But as I said we could improve. I'm going to try to work harder to get the kids to eat and to understand what is going on. And the next tantrum I hope wil be different although DS needs to eat at the end of them.

Thanks so much for all our your support. It is so very nice to hear we aren't alone in this. Wine tonight for sure.

We

Anonymous wrote:If your child has a meltdown, you pick them up and go back to your house/rental. You don't eventually give in or play games. You also don't wait till they are starving to feed them. They may not be able to handle trips and are going to meet your needs, not theirs.

It's really not always that easy. A lot of people go on trips with other family/friends and not just themselves. Ever hear of that? It's not always an option to just leave. I feel like these comments just prove that you have never been in these situations. I can totally relate to op. My children are difficult and we are usually very strict parents. I have actually cried on trips with them because it was so stressful.

As parents you set the rules and be consistent. Kids will be kids but any disobedience of home rules and they loose privileges. They can scream all they want, you both are the parents you are in control not your kids.

If your child has a meltdown, you pick them up and go back to your house/rental. You don't eventually give in or play games. You also don't wait till they are starving to feed them. They may not be able to handle trips and are going to meet your needs, not theirs.

What 1 yr old doesn't want ice cream? Why wouldn't you give it to a 1 yr old? How would giving ice cream to a 1 yr old make the OP "the problem here"? Complete and Utter Shrew, indeed.

No more ice cream for the whole trip

Anonymous wrote:Children who scream do not get any ice cream at all. Your son tantrums because he knows if he does it long enough you or your husband will give in and give him what he wants. You and your husband are the problem, not your son.

And you are calling a 1 yr old an asshole. Hello? Why is a 1 yr old even begin given ice cream to begin with? You are the problem here.

You win the cruise CUSA -- Complete and Utter Shrew Award. Will 16:46 please step forward to accept her award?

It"s really stressful for kids to be on "vacation." You really need to bend over backwards to accommodate them. Why can't he choose what kind of ice cream he gets anyway? It's like you're forcing him to enjoy ice cream only a certain way. Weird.

Anyway, be kind to them. Small kids are easily thrown out of whack. One of my kids started screaming in terror the first time he saw the ocean. Everyone on the beach laughed at us....

I feel you OP. I have definitely been there.

Do you think it's a plea for attention? That's usually what it is w/ mine (who are also 4). If I can stand to really focus in on them for a short time it often will buy me a little breathing room later. Book reading while snuggling, a good fun walk together or hide and seek game, building a fort, etc... If I can really just focus solely on them for a little while then I can often say "ok, now go play by yourself" for a few minutes after.

As for the sweets stuff - frequently I cave while on "vacation" just so I don't have to pick the battle. I figure I'm in it for the longhaul and a weekend of treats won't kill them.

And wine. Or vodka. Or both.

Hang in there!

Anonymous wrote:Children who scream do not get any ice cream at all. Your son tantrums because he knows if he does it long enough you or your husband will give in and give him what he wants. You and your husband are the problem, not your son.

And you are calling a 1 yr old an asshole. Hello? Why is a 1 yr old even begin given ice cream to begin with? You are the problem here.

You are the problem actually pp. This mom is stressed and the only thing you can do is shame her. I'm sure you are a perfect parent with perfect kids. OP, my children are also horrible on trips and I dread traveling. Actually we haven't been on a real vacation since my oldest was born 4 years ago. We do go to visit other family during holidays though, and it's a nightmare every time. I don't know how parents with young children have enjoyable vacations. My kids are 4 and 2. I'm sorry OP. My only advice is wine.

Your kids aren't on vacation. They are in battle mode where everything is unpredictable and they are trying to gain control by being evil despots.

At that age, there are no vacations, only trips.

Wise words I've been told before, and find to be very, very true.

Are they in daycare usually or do you stay home with them?

If they are typically in daycare, this is a major change from their routine and a longer than usual time for you and DH to be 1:1 with them. Especially the 1 year old!

I don't travel with my kids because of the nightmare when there is disruption to their routine ( 1 and 3) is the exact opposite of a vacation for me.

No advice, just commiseration and support!

Children who scream do not get any ice cream at all. Your son tantrums because he knows if he does it long enough you or your husband will give in and give him what he wants. You and your husband are the problem, not your son.

And you are calling a 1 yr old an asshole. Hello? Why is a 1 yr old even begin given ice cream to begin with? You are the problem here.

I have two kids, 4 and 1. At home they are angels and get tons of complements. I'm not taking credit here but it sets the context.

We are renting a condo for two weeks in the mountains and my two children have turned into demon spawn. We are careful to keep their routine, sent them to camp for a couple of days but are spending the four day weekend with them. Our time is spent on kid friendly activities. Kid friendly meals at our condo, restaurants with play areas or picnics with friends. But they are horrible, horrible beasts. We are getting ice cream. My son (4) tantrums that he only wants an ice cream cone, not a cup with a cone in it. After 15 minutes DH gives in, gives the other ice cream to the baby. Then he screams that he wants ice cream and a cookie too.
He won't walk anywhere, demands to be carried. Neither will eat Meals and then scream bloody murder when they are starving. I am at my wit's end, DH and I are at each other's throats, on Father's Day no less. Help me! Any advice ? Other than not taking future trips I just don't know what to do here.