Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby is more fun when a little older anyway! Plus my mom will be staying here to help me recover from a c-section and help take care of the toddler. Why does my 25 year old SIL need to come right away? Why can't she give me a week or two to recover and establish breastfeeding? Ugh. Vent over. No replies necessary, I know I'm going to get flamed anyway.

Do you mean stop in for 15 minutes or stay in your house?

OP here - Stay in my house. And DH is not backing me on this so I can't say no

When my oldest was born I couldn't WAIT to show him off. Yet everyone stayed away because they thought we wanted private time.

Just tell them what you want.

This thread was quite literally made for people like you:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/556303.page#8885928

You know you're in control of who does and does not enter your home, yes? Be a grown-up and DIRECTLY COMMUNICATE that you don't want her to visit right now.

Problem solved!

Is SIL staying with you or just visiting the house? I've known a lot of new moms- half WANT visitors and are desperate for company, half want to be left alone. And you just don't know what they want unless they tell you.

Anonymous wrote:Baby is more fun when a little older anyway! Plus my mom will be staying here to help me recover from a c-section and help take care of the toddler. Why does my 25 year old SIL need to come right away? Why can't she give me a week or two to recover and establish breastfeeding? Ugh. Vent over. No replies necessary, I know I'm going to get flamed anyway.

Do you mean stop in for 15 minutes or stay in your house?

What a terrible problem. My heart weeps for you.

Agree with the PPs, just say no! I'm one that wishes family could come as soon as baby arrives but I know not everyone is like that. People make assumptions, just tell your SIL her assumption is wrong and you don't want visitors that soon. She's 25, she likely doesn't have many friends with kids yet and doesn't understand.

And I agree, newborns are relatively boring.

Just say no! Nicely, but do it!

Talk to her, OP. Is this entire vent about your SIL or others too?!

Just say no. Seriously. Nothing more exhausting than your first few weeks home from the hospital.

Did you guys ask her to wait a week? I know I'd have had no idea about childbirth when I was 25.

Some people like having family and close friends come see the baby right away, and some don't. What you should do is set up a time period -- one week or two-- and say it's the "babymoon" and you'll need that time to rest, bond, and get breast-feeding started, so you'd like people to wait and come visit after that time. People do this all the time.

You should have told her that she could come later, that your mom would be there during the first few weeks. Sorry, but moms trump SIL's.

Baby is more fun when a little older anyway! Plus my mom will be staying here to help me recover from a c-section and help take care of the toddler. Why does my 25 year old SIL need to come right away? Why can't she give me a week or two to recover and establish breastfeeding? Ugh. Vent over. No replies necessary, I know I'm going to get flamed anyway.