Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of these types most of the time. I have no issues with those who are not, except for my spouse, and it will lead to a divorce.. Life is too short to be sitting around. So, while I have no issues with those who are not, I probably could not be married to someone who is the opposite, which is where I am now.

I am YOU! Always annoyed with my DH because all he wants to do is sit or sleep. It was ok before kids because honestly there was little to take care of, but now all I see is laziness. If you don't have kids get out now!

Why the hell do you type A women marry these type of men that are so different from you? Stick to your own kind and leave the rest of us alone. Thanks.

Wow. Do you always get so angry about things on the internet?

A lot of times, in talking to my fellow Type A friends, in these situations... their husbands kept up with, and often encouraged, all the activity until after the wedding/or even may be children. So it's often a case of pretending to be another more active person, or a complete situation switch. Active people don't seek out someone they have to beg, barter, or coerce to hang out, and do things with them.
Maybe all these less type a and beta guys should be more upfront and honest that this is not a lifestyle they want to pursue long term, instead of tricking their spouses and becoming passive aggressive about their wishes after the marriage happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of these types most of the time. I have no issues with those who are not, except for my spouse, and it will lead to a divorce.. Life is too short to be sitting around. So, while I have no issues with those who are not, I probably could not be married to someone who is the opposite, which is where I am now.

I am YOU! Always annoyed with my DH because all he wants to do is sit or sleep. It was ok before kids because honestly there was little to take care of, but now all I see is laziness. If you don't have kids get out now!

Why the hell do you type A women marry these type of men that are so different from you? Stick to your own kind and leave the rest of us alone. Thanks.

Ex-bf I dated in my 20's was like that. It seemed he was avoiding his feelings, couldn't just be still and quiet sometimes. He was always doing something. I didn't marry him because of it, and 25 years later, he says it's a huge issue in his marriage (his wife doesn't like it).

My DH is type A and I am too. Successful, driven, conscientious and physically active. We are also aware of the fullness of life in the present moment. A person can be both. I would have a hard time with a partner who makes himself busy in order to avoid issues or chasing success to fill a void. That hole is never full.

Anonymous wrote:I am one of these types most of the time. I have no issues with those who are not, except for my spouse, and it will lead to a divorce.. Life is too short to be sitting around. So, while I have no issues with those who are not, I probably could not be married to someone who is the opposite, which is where I am now.

I am YOU! Always annoyed with my DH because all he wants to do is sit or sleep. It was ok before kids because honestly there was little to take care of, but now all I see is laziness. If you don't have kids get out now!

Anonymous wrote:I didn't enjoy dating these types because usually at some point they want you to change to be more like them and if you don't they make it seem as if something is wrong with you or you are lacking somehow. Lots of Type A folks don't understand that it's not that other people are trying and failing to be like them, it's that they have no desire to live that way. I think that's fine, it takes all kinds, but most Type A's I've run across don't have that perspective.

This is my husband, exactly. We've been together for 14 years and I think he's finally realizing that I am just innately different from him and I don't want to be like him. He doesn't understand it, but he does acknowledge it. But I've had to endure years of comments and him making me feel "less than" in order to come to this point.

I am one of these types most of the time. I have no issues with those who are not, except for my spouse, and it will lead to a divorce.. Life is too short to be sitting around. So, while I have no issues with those who are not, I probably could not be married to someone who is the opposite, which is where I am now.

Anonymous wrote:I would worry that you wouldn't be compatible eventually. The people I know like this get frustrated with people who need down time on the couch.

+1

And he is running away from something....

My spouse is the extreme form of this 'type A'. He is on the go constantly, always looking out for the next adventure. He looks calm on the outside, but he isn't. He finds family life boring so is always planning trips he has to take. Since he is always looking on the horizon, he never sees what's in front of him. He is good at what he does, he comes first, gets first price in everything he tries to accomplished, except things of personal nature. So yeah, it's like a roller coaster. Most of the time i am so flabbergasted, i just want to get off this ship. I would love to have the peace to enjoy the plants and flowers around, but that won't happen until I get off this ship. I should have married a nice calm boring accountant.

I didn't enjoy dating these types because usually at some point they want you to change to be more like them and if you don't they make it seem as if something is wrong with you or you are lacking somehow. Lots of Type A folks don't understand that it's not that other people are trying and failing to be like them, it's that they have no desire to live that way. I think that's fine, it takes all kinds, but most Type A's I've run across don't have that perspective.

I have been that person in the past, though I can always be convinced to take a break...but my threshold for working/planning/keep on going/make every second matter is higher than most people's.

My spouse and I have struggled because of it, but if it weren't that, it would be something else to struggle over. And I have relaxed a little over the years. And it's never been the cause of splitting up or even coming close to that.

And for me it was always about meeting my own high expectations of myself, proving something. Proving my value in ways because I couldn't control other things I didn't like about me. Hefty goals and plans made me feel good. Show them that relaxing and being present can help them fulfill goals too.

No experience with not wanting to face my own thoughts. I mean that's pretty messy...if that's the reason I think you'll need them to dig deep before you keep going on together...

You will always be second to whatever career/business/hobby the type A is pursuing. Type A wants to get that presentation done and going to a movie with you is an annoyance. Type A will be thinking about that presentation the entire time and race home to do it. But when it's done, everything will be good again. Decide If you can live with being second and being on Type A's schedule. That's what you'll end up facing.

I would worry that you wouldn't be compatible eventually. The people I know like this get frustrated with people who need down time on the couch.

I am "dating" someone like this and in his case, I'm finding it is because he can't be alone or be at home. In fact, he has even admitted it is because he is unwilling to slow down to process his personal issues (not going to list them). And even though he also follows through, I think it is more anxiety driven than it is a true type A situation.

Do you know, are you in, or have you ever been in a relationship with one of these types? Constantly GO GO GO. I'm interested in someone like this, and on the one hand I totally admire them. They do all that they do well, with passion, and somehow without letting others down. On the other hand, I wonder if there's something else going on - like they NEED to be extremely busy, because they can't be still with themselves and their own mind.

This person does follow through on what they say, and is still very thoughtful and able to handle whatever they add with gusto. But.. they are so extremely, over the top type A (I am so not!), and have never been involved with someone like this.