Not your business what your brother does or what your parents do with their money.

Only in a self-absorbed universe is $10k "not winning."

Grow the hell up and take care of yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is simply listing the reasons she is angry with her parents. Blaming them for her deceased sister's unhappiness and suicide, the sibling rivalry, and is fuming because the parents are still doing the same things that caused all these things. In her mind. That is my internet guess based on OPs one post and nothing else. She is venting.

And the reason she's not getting much sympathy is that she is not expressing any of it well.

Harsh.

But true. The first rule on DCUM is articulating the facts as clearly as possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is simply listing the reasons she is angry with her parents. Blaming them for her deceased sister's unhappiness and suicide, the sibling rivalry, and is fuming because the parents are still doing the same things that caused all these things. In her mind. That is my internet guess based on OPs one post and nothing else. She is venting.

And the reason she's not getting much sympathy is that she is not expressing any of it well.

Harsh.

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is simply listing the reasons she is angry with her parents. Blaming them for her deceased sister's unhappiness and suicide, the sibling rivalry, and is fuming because the parents are still doing the same things that caused all these things. In her mind. That is my internet guess based on OPs one post and nothing else. She is venting.

And the reason she's not getting much sympathy is that she is not expressing any of it well.

I think OP is simply listing the reasons she is angry with her parents. Blaming them for her deceased sister's unhappiness and suicide, the sibling rivalry, and is fuming because the parents are still doing the same things that caused all these things. In her mind. That is my internet guess based on OPs one post and nothing else. She is venting.

Two things I don't like about your post:
1. Your apparent lack of empathy/concern for your mentally ill sister and her child - you don't kill yourself or have multiple offenses at 15 without being mentally disordered. I hope the teen is being seen by a psychiatrist.
2. Your apparent lack of gratitude over being offered 10K spontaneously.

OP go out and live your life. Stop worrying about trying to get stuff from your parents or what they are giving to your brother.

OP, jealousy is a totally normal trait amongst siblings, and your emotions are understandable. But if you don't understand at some point that you are the ONLY one responsible for your responses to life, how others love, etc. then you will always be miserable in this regard, and possibly others. You are giving more power to people than you should. You can't control how other people will treat you. You can make them aware of how you feel, set boundaries, forgive (for your own peace) and move on in a redefined relationship that works for YOU.

I have experienced this with my dad and brothers. They blew through MILLIONS of dollars on stupid stuff, while I put myself through school, etc. I just learned to give thanks where it was due, because we aren't entitled to anything in this world, except for what we build for ourselves. You are a happier, better person when you realize this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the notion that parents have to or even should treat each "child" identically and exactly the same is a childlike notion. It's immature. Your parents are entitled to give each child $$$ resources as the child needs them. Or, they can give their money away on a whim.

Your anger is a child's anger. He got ice cream! I didn't get ice cream! Why do you care that your brother is living in the beach house? Why do you care? Do you need a place to live? Then move in too. Problem solved. Your parents have GIVEN YOU MONEY and you are angry? You sound like a spoiled little girl.

No, Op's anger is not childish. You should leave the advice to people who know what they are talking about. Op, the dynamic you describe is very unfair to you, but you are the one choosing to let it continue. No more lending money and no more talking to people unless they respect you.

Op is not lending money.

People often confuse the concepts of "fair" and "equal." They're not interchangeable. What is "fair" is not always equal and what is equal is not always fair.

Anonymous wrote:OP, the notion that parents have to or even should treat each "child" identically and exactly the same is a childlike notion. It's immature. Your parents are entitled to give each child $$$ resources as the child needs them. Or, they can give their money away on a whim.

Your anger is a child's anger. He got ice cream! I didn't get ice cream! Why do you care that your brother is living in the beach house? Why do you care? Do you need a place to live? Then move in too. Problem solved. Your parents have GIVEN YOU MONEY and you are angry? You sound like a spoiled little girl.

No, Op's anger is not childish. You should leave the advice to people who know what they are talking about. Op, the dynamic you describe is very unfair to you, but you are the one choosing to let it continue. No more lending money and no more talking to people unless they respect you.

OP, the notion that parents have to or even should treat each "child" identically and exactly the same is a childlike notion. It's immature. Your parents are entitled to give each child $$$ resources as the child needs them. Or, they can give their money away on a whim.

Your anger is a child's anger. He got ice cream! I didn't get ice cream! Why do you care that your brother is living in the beach house? Why do you care? Do you need a place to live? Then move in too. Problem solved. Your parents have GIVEN YOU MONEY and you are angry? You sound like a spoiled little girl.

Niece

Your nice is disturbing?

I am the youngest.. I have brother who is the oldest and my mom calls "the king" (in Spanish). My sister killed herself in 2009- she left her rather disturbing child (age 15 and had a littany of offenses) who my parents took over. I just don't know how to handle this anger and resentment I have to my parents though of course I love them. I'm late 40s- they have always given money to my siblings as "loans" that they have both dismissed. One year- I got 10K as a gift since my sister and brother had not repaid any loan and they told me it was only fair- they said they had take more than that. I had no idea of any of this and have never had a loan from my parents. So now my brother moved into my parents cushy beach house- place and is going to live for free (yes, he will pay utlities, etc) but I am just so mad. My brother always get favoritism and talking to my mom (who is the only one lucid). I am just reliving again how I am just a fill. I