My wife did activity based meetups. Salsa dancing, whitewater rafting, etc. She went whitewater rafting with a big group and then a smaller group of those people became friendly and planned another trip of their own. That's where we met. We were both over 35.

Find what interests you and have fun doing that.

I like to be able to check up on dates first so I prefer some kind of common connection. I met my current boyfriend of 2 years at age 34...we have overlapping work duties but don't work directly together. And we have many friends in common. So I'd say work, friends of friends, or through a team/church/etc.

Meetup. And I'd find an activity based one rather than one for 'singles', those aren't so hot.

Great suggestions, I'm honestly just totally intimidated at the thought of dating, so starting online isn't a terrible idea I suppose. I'm not really interested in a lifelong commitment again for a while anyways

And no I'm not bad looking, but I don't send out the single vibe anymore

You can meet available men anywhere in any setting. It depends on what your approach to dating is and your expectations. I advise anyone who is single and dating, with the hopes of a LT relationship in the future, to treat it just like any other goal you would pursue in life. You want to put yourself in the best position to succeed.

This isn't complicated. Meeting men requires being social. Start at places where you already engage in group activities. This could be church, or a volunteer group. Tell trusted friends and family your goals-- they may have connections. Be open to initiating conversations with men, and asking men out if you find them interesting. Create online a strong profile on Match or one of the popular dating services. Attend social groups on meetup.com or other social sites.

In short, give yourself as many options and opportunities as possible to create connections.

Anonymous wrote:Don't disregard online. You can use it to date smart.

A friend always ends up doing something interesting with her dates - sailing, watching a play, pottery etc. She never just meets for dinner/bar etc on the first date. This allows her not to waste her time because she still gets to enjoy the activity/outing aspect of the date, even if the company is a bust.

That sounds like a bigger waste of time if the date is a dud than just meeting for coffee or a drink like normal people.

Anonymous wrote:
A friend always ends up doing something interesting with her dates - sailing, watching a play, pottery etc. She never just meets for dinner/bar etc on the first date. This allows her not to waste her time because she still gets to enjoy the activity/outing aspect of the date, even if the company is a bust.

Yeah, who doesn't love getting free shit out of dating?

Anonymous wrote:I'm newly divorced, and have been out of the game for so long I don't know where to start. So where do you meet men? I am not really into the online scene, but also don't want a bar hookup ....

If you have "been out of the game for so long" than you need to start by recognizing that your reasons for being "not really into the online scene" are way outdated. A decade ago, the online "scene" used to be kind of niche, so unless you were part of a community that early-adopted online dating, like gay people or Jewish people, it was saying something about your personality that you were willing to try online dating. Now the opposite is true; so many people online date that it is more likely to signal something unusual about you if you won't try it than if you will.

There are a lot of downsides to online dating, but at the end of the day, its a much more efficient and sensible way to meet people. If you go to a bar to meet someone, you are limited to the world of people who walk into that bar and you know nothing about them when you start the conversation other than that they ended up in that bar. When you use online dating, you are looking at a larger pool of people and starting by communicating with people you have something in common with. You're exponentially more likely to meet someone who's a good match. If anything, its vaguely amazing to me that everyone managed to find someone before online dating.

But if you really can't get over it, start going to groups, clubs, or meet-ups involving something you're interested in. Then at least you'll have one meaningful similarity to whomever you meet there.

I would say online. However, be aware that a lot of people seem to date multiple people at once (the there's many fish in the sea syndrome). And the quality is not always there. A male friend of mine who had never been married and no kids did it for a number of years. Met tons of women but they were all kind of mentally messed up. In the end met a woman with mutual acquaintances (they friends hadn't tried to fix them up).

How about a neighbor?

Don't disregard online. You can use it to date smart.

A friend always ends up doing something interesting with her dates - sailing, watching a play, pottery etc. She never just meets for dinner/bar etc on the first date. This allows her not to waste her time because she still gets to enjoy the activity/outing aspect of the date, even if the company is a bust.

Anonymous wrote:I'm newly divorced, and have been out of the game for so long I don't know where to start. So where do you meet men? I am not really into the online scene, but also don't want a bar hookup ....

Well, sounds like you should embrace celibacy.

How attractive are you?

Frankly? Online. nearly 30% of Americans meet their spouses online.

Go to church. Take group tennis/sailing lessons. Volunteer at something that provides exposure to other people. And let your friends know you are on the prowl. Maybe they know someone....

I'm newly divorced, and have been out of the game for so long I don't know where to start. So where do you meet men? I am not really into the online scene, but also don't want a bar hookup ....