Anonymous
Post 05/31/2016 08:42     Subject: If you have 3 kids close in age, how do you give each 1-on-1 time?
Anonymous wrote:My really close time with my kids is bedtime. In particular my 10yr old. Each night we have a ritual that lasts about 20min. He gets in bed, sometimes I read his book out loud to him (Harry potter right now). I spend some time scratching his back and rubbing his head. This is when he opens up to me and tells me what is really going on in his life...what is bothering him, what makes him happy, how he feels. This time is so precious.

Im home from work at 5pm, so I have lots of time, but it's the quiet of bedtime when the real communication occurs. I dread the day he doesn't want to be tucked in. Maybe it will morph into us talking in the family room after dinner.

I do the same with my 6yr old, but he's more rushed. I read to him and he (oddly) likes to be ticked before bed, as it relaxes him, and had been the case since he was a baby. I've always ticked him since he was 6 months old and he would fall right asleep...something about that is a release doe him.


This post made me smile.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2016 01:51     Subject: Re:If you have 3 kids close in age, how do you give each 1-on-1 time?
I have 3 including twins. DH and I follow what we call the 8, 9, 10 rule. Loving physically touch each child at least 8 times a day, focus on imdividual time at least 3 minutes in the morning, 3 minutes when they get home and 3 minutes before bed, have at least one 10 minute 1 on 1 non distracted talk each day. We also rotate errands where I'll take just one and the others stay with DH. I work at home 2 days a week and get off at 3 so I can spend time with my oldest before picking up the other two from daycare. One of my twins is an early riser so we get alone time on the weekends. Once in a while I'll do separate bath time for the twins.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2016 01:10     Subject: Re:If you have 3 kids close in age, how do you give each 1-on-1 time?
OP here, thanks for your posts. I've been spending time just before bed w/my oldest & that is precious time with her. I usually read to my 3 & 5 yo together but may try separate time with each.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2016 05:39     Subject: Re:If you have 3 kids close in age, how do you give each 1-on-1 time?
Similar to the PPs, I spend about 10 minutes with each kid before bedtime. It started with my oldest when he wanted to talk about his 'worries'. As the day winds down and it gets closer to bedtime, his mind would go back over his day or think about the next day. This time became a way of processing things that he'd shoved to the back of his mind. Of course, after a while, DD wanted some time with me, too. Then the youngest. At first, they younger kids didn't have much to say so we just chatted about their day or what they were looking forward to. Oldest is now 13 and while we don't do it as often as we used to, "Mom, can I talk to you?" still means - can we go lay on your bed and talk?

Like you, DH and I both WOH. Since I'm with the kids in the morning, I get home later. Sometimes, I come in the front door and go straight to the bedroom to begin the chats.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2016 02:36     Subject: If you have 3 kids close in age, how do you give each 1-on-1 time?
My really close time with my kids is bedtime. In particular my 10yr old. Each night we have a ritual that lasts about 20min. He gets in bed, sometimes I read his book out loud to him (Harry potter right now). I spend some time scratching his back and rubbing his head. This is when he opens up to me and tells me what is really going on in his life...what is bothering him, what makes him happy, how he feels. This time is so precious.

Im home from work at 5pm, so I have lots of time, but it's the quiet of bedtime when the real communication occurs. I dread the day he doesn't want to be tucked in. Maybe it will morph into us talking in the family room after dinner.

I do the same with my 6yr old, but he's more rushed. I read to him and he (oddly) likes to be ticked before bed, as it relaxes him, and had been the case since he was a baby. I've always ticked him since he was 6 months old and he would fall right asleep...something about that is a release doe him.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2016 00:36     Subject: If you have 3 kids close in age, how do you give each 1-on-1 time?
Keep in mind that ANYTHING can be bonding time. I pulled one kid aside to teach him how to ball socks and now we do that together. One kid always wants to go food shopping with me, so that's our thing. One kid always goes to the hardware store with DH just the two of them.

One on one time doesn't have to always be some fun kid-focused outting that costs money, you know?
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2016 00:20     Subject: Re:If you have 3 kids close in age, how do you give each 1-on-1 time?
^^ should note DH and I both WOH, so looking for ideas for weekday evenings & weekends.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2016 00:18     Subject: If you have 3 kids close in age, how do you give each 1-on-1 time?
looking for ideas on what has worked well for 1-on-1 time w/each kid. Our kids are 3, 5, 7 and we usually do things w/all kids together. We do spend time alone when headed to soccer or other activities, and oldest gets time alone w/us when younger 2 are napping/doing quiet time.
How do you spend 1-on-1 time with your kids?