He may not be a racist.
I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to marry someone of your own background.

As long as he's not being disparaging towards other races I don't have a problem with it.

Anonymous wrote:He is racist and likely due to his upbringing. I bet he either has not introduced her to his family or very minimally brings her around the family. He sounds like an arrogant asshole who enjoys the passive kind nature of Asian women; but has a lack of respect for her due to his racist upbringing, thus will not marry her. For her sake, I hope they never marry or have kids.

My white DH will be the first to tell you that Korean women are not passive -- he is married to one. I'm guessing you have never been married to a Korean woman. I only know one passive Korean woman, and that's because this is just her nature.

Anonymous wrote:White people and Koreans -- lots of racists on both sides there.

+1. One of my good friends in college was a Korean guy. He dated white girls. But he was always going to have an arranged marriage to a Korean woman. That was no secret, and that is what happened. He ended up breaking up with a white woman he really loved and wanted to marry to make his family happy and do what was expected. Maybe that is more of a cultural thing and honoring his parents wishes than a strictly racist one. But when it comes to marriage, some people and groups of people do feel obligated to follow cultural expectations. Some whites are in this category (although I'm white, and if my kids choose to marry Asians, Eskimos, AAs, etc, that's fine). But certain Asian culturals also fit into this category.

I didn't date a couple guys because of their race. One guy was basically a stranger, another was a friend. I didn't tell him the real reason but at least I didn't get involved with him and then try to dump him later. I think if you can date them, you could marry them. I know it appears racist, but it's a personal choice what kind of children you want to have. I think the guy would probably date her just to use her, unfortunately.

White people and Koreans -- lots of racists on both sides there.

Maybe she feels the same way and it's convenient for them both?

"look for a white woman" ?

He is racist and likely due to his upbringing. I bet he either has not introduced her to his family or very minimally brings her around the family. He sounds like an arrogant asshole who enjoys the passive kind nature of Asian women; but has a lack of respect for her due to his racist upbringing, thus will not marry her. For her sake, I hope they never marry or have kids.

Anonymous wrote:You will probably date many people and only marry one or two. Adults know this.

Who knows, maybe he will fall in love and change his mind? It happens all the time.

He wont.

You will probably date many people and only marry one or two. Adults know this.

Who knows, maybe he will fall in love and change his mind? It happens all the time.

Because he just wants to have sex with her.

Why are people racist assholes? I don't know.

Why do people date people they'll never marry? Not that complicated a question. Most people at some point in their lives date for reasons other than marriage.

I'm thinking he hasn't told her. I know a Black woman in her early 30s in a similar situation. Took her years to meet the parents and now he's proposing "soon", according to her. Meanwhile, it took him years to acknowledge that they were a couple.

Because they are racist?

Co worker, age 29, white guy, dating Korean American woman, 29 or so.
He says that he would never marry her because she is Korean.
He likes her company now, but has made up his mind that he will end the relationship by fall to look for a white woman. And he is serious about this.
I asked him if she knows that he will be breaking it up, and the real reason. He said that she knows...I think not, but what ever.
Why do people do this to themselves and each other?