who are you getting quotes from? I would try three general contractors, not design build, Price out cabinets and appliances and countertops separately. Get a labor quote, so you can compare apples to apples. But it does sound expensive. Then again, we did a gut remodel, removing two load bearing walls, moving plumbing, electric everything but new floors, for 60k not including appliances. But our kitchen was not big.
I would like to recommend you add Angel Truesta at wall to wall to your list of bids. We didn't use him (wish we did) but a friend did and was very pleased.
+1-maybe your kitchen is really big, but I recently got 3 bids that were closer to 50K (not included appliances) for all of the items you mentioned from mid-range general contractors that were recommended by colleagues/neighbors (not design build though).