Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I never felt that way about my biological daughter. Combine that with the fact that I never wanted to adopt and we kind of got stuck with the second one. So no.

this post confuses me...

It sounds like she doesn't love either of her kids and shouldn't have been a parent.

There is definitely a strong bond between me and my adopted DD. But definitely not the same kind of bond as with my bio child. I am not going to sugar coat this.

My kids are older now. My bio DS and I have a connection...it is like we are alike in many ways and we can make eye contact and almost read each other's minds. With my adopted DD, we don't have that, but I still love her very very much. She is her own person, a delightful, wonderful, loving human being. I feel blessed to have the honor to be her parent. So there are a lot of emotions, but just not the same kind as with bio child.

This might not be what you want to hear, but it is my experience.

Anonymous wrote:Fine. Inflict a Dr. Moreau-style social engineering experiment on your own offspring. Then come crying back here when they're failing college or won't talk to you and wonder what went wrong.

Please do not derail a thread that someone posted looking for help and advice. Your posts are vague, alarmist and not constructive.

Hi, OP. We juat adopted an infant and I will be totally honest with you. Loke you, I was head over geels crazy in love with my biological cild from the moment I laid eyes on him. It honestly terrified me how much I loved him.

We just adopted a newborn. In the beginning, I felt great affection for him but I would not call it love. Now, after almost four months, I am definitely in love with him, and it grows deeper every day. I cannot imagine life without him.

I understand your feelings. I felt the same way. There was a brief mourning period of sorts that happened as a result of not having that initial bond. Now I realize that it doesn't have to be the same because it just isn't the same. But that doesn't make it bad, or worse. We are beyond thrilled, our bio son adores his new brother, amd we can't imagine it any other way.

i am an adoptee. Have older siblings who are biological. Felt very loved and integrated.

Fine. Inflict a Dr. Moreau-style social engineering experiment on your own offspring. Then come crying back here when they're failing college or won't talk to you and wonder what went wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I never felt that way about my biological daughter. Combine that with the fact that I never wanted to adopt and we kind of got stuck with the second one. So no.

this post confuses me...

It means she doesn't really love the child she adopted and is angry she got stuck with the child. She never wanted the child and they was forced on her.

Yes. Cautionary tale. Don't do adoption. Especially if you have bio kids, it is a disservice to them.

You cannot generalize all experiences to your own personal situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I never felt that way about my biological daughter. Combine that with the fact that I never wanted to adopt and we kind of got stuck with the second one. So no.

this post confuses me...

It means she doesn't really love the child she adopted and is angry she got stuck with the child. She never wanted the child and they was forced on her.

Yes. Cautionary tale. Don't do adoption. Especially if you have bio kids, it is a disservice to them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I never felt that way about my biological daughter. Combine that with the fact that I never wanted to adopt and we kind of got stuck with the second one. So no.

this post confuses me...

It means she doesn't really love the child she adopted and is angry she got stuck with the child. She never wanted the child and they was forced on her.

Anonymous wrote:Well I never felt that way about my biological daughter. Combine that with the fact that I never wanted to adopt and we kind of got stuck with the second one. So no.

this post confuses me...

Anonymous wrote:It's incredible. Adoption is an amazing way to build a family. My bio daughter was 10 when we traveled to China for her 3 year old sister. We could not love her more. Seriously, do not doubt your capacity to love a child who is placed in your arms.

Barf.

Well I never felt that way about my biological daughter. Combine that with the fact that I never wanted to adopt and we kind of got stuck with the second one. So no.

It's incredible. Adoption is an amazing way to build a family. My bio daughter was 10 when we traveled to China for her 3 year old sister. We could not love her more. Seriously, do not doubt your capacity to love a child who is placed in your arms.

Far better!

Does it feel the same? That crazy bond that you have with a biological child? That you would step in front of a train for them feeling? The you could just eat them up you are so enthralled by them.

Was it there? Were you able to get there?