We do morning drop offs and see them for an hour before bedtime each night. It's not a lot, but I am able to control my own schedule to do certain things with them- for instance, I have never missed a field trip for either child.

Anonymous wrote:Lawyer here and husband is a non-lawyer but high-hours/travel job too. We have a FT nanny 8:30-5 and an evening nanny 5-8pm Monday through Thursday. We almost never work on weekends though as that time is just spent with the kids and doing things as a family.

Do you see your kids at all during the week?

My DH is BigLaw and travels 1-3 nights per week. I WOH full-time, but my job is fairly low-stress, and I leave at 4 every day. We use daycare, not a nanny.

Anonymous wrote:OK, so seriously: how do big law lawyers do the kid/parent thing? I used to be in big law (left a few years ago) and now have a very reasonably in-house job and kids. Even leaving at a very reasonable time and not working on weekends, giving kids dinners, baths, bedtime, cleaning up, doing homework, etc. take forever and is exhausting. I could not imagine my old big law job AND kids (I would probably be a crappy parent). How do big law parents do it?

Beats me. I too left BigLaw for in house before my three kids were born and then went part time (4 days) and it still nearly killed me. I ended up quitting and staying home for a few years until returning to grad school for a saner career.

The families I know who make it work either have one parent who SAH (usually the mom) or if both parents work then they have a nanny (or two), and outsource cooking and cleaning. Many even have grandparents close by or living with them.

PP- should add that our FT nanny does all the groceries and cooking and laundry as well. Have cleaning people come once a week.

Lawyer here and husband is a non-lawyer but high-hours/travel job too. We have a FT nanny 8:30-5 and an evening nanny 5-8pm Monday through Thursday. We almost never work on weekends though as that time is just spent with the kids and doing things as a family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, so seriously: how do big law lawyers do the kid/parent thing? I used to be in big law (left a few years ago) and now have a very reasonably in-house job and kids. Even leaving at a very reasonable time and not working on weekends, giving kids dinners, baths, bedtime, cleaning up, doing homework, etc. take forever and is exhausting. I could not imagine my old big law job AND kids (I would probably be a crappy parent). How do big law parents do it?

day nanny/night nanny, or SAH spouse, or both.

Yup. Not complicated (or ideal IMO).

This.

This is how the biglaw partner families I know do it. multiple nannies within the same 24 period (so one woman relieves the other hired woman). plus, of course, the dog walker, 3x a week housecleaner, the yard people, the Bergman's dry cleaning drop off, the InstaCart drop offs, and constant Amazon deliveries.

Also, because the parents can't contribute, rather than join carpools I am starting to see Uber transport for the older kids wearing sports attire. I assume they are going to practice bc they have tennis rackets or lacrosse bags when they get into the Uber.

DH is an equity partner at his firm, I have a full-time career (WOTH). Many other partners also have spouses who have kept their careers, especially those with MDs or PhDs. I, however, have a very flexible schedule; we have a nanny who works 30 hours/week; and I am super organized and don't stress out easily. We have a shared online calendar on which we put everything. We bought a house convenient to work and school, so we minimize commute. For better or for worse, I have accepted that I am the default parent.

Anonymous wrote:I left biglaw a while ago, but every partner I knew had a partner that either stayed home or worked minimally, plus a nanny.

Basically, what wealthier families in the 50's did, except then it was a stay at home mom (who likely did a lot of volunteer work) instead of dad.

usually one parent stays at home or works part time.

I left biglaw a while ago, but every partner I knew had a partner that either stayed home or worked minimally, plus a nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, so seriously: how do big law lawyers do the kid/parent thing? I used to be in big law (left a few years ago) and now have a very reasonably in-house job and kids. Even leaving at a very reasonable time and not working on weekends, giving kids dinners, baths, bedtime, cleaning up, doing homework, etc. take forever and is exhausting. I could not imagine my old big law job AND kids (I would probably be a crappy parent). How do big law parents do it?

day nanny/night nanny, or SAH spouse, or both.

Yup. Not complicated (or ideal IMO).

Anonymous wrote:OK, so seriously: how do big law lawyers do the kid/parent thing? I used to be in big law (left a few years ago) and now have a very reasonably in-house job and kids. Even leaving at a very reasonable time and not working on weekends, giving kids dinners, baths, bedtime, cleaning up, doing homework, etc. take forever and is exhausting. I could not imagine my old big law job AND kids (I would probably be a crappy parent). How do big law parents do it?

day nanny/night nanny, or SAH spouse, or both.

OK, so seriously: how do big law lawyers do the kid/parent thing? I used to be in big law (left a few years ago) and now have a very reasonably in-house job and kids. Even leaving at a very reasonable time and not working on weekends, giving kids dinners, baths, bedtime, cleaning up, doing homework, etc. take forever and is exhausting. I could not imagine my old big law job AND kids (I would probably be a crappy parent). How do big law parents do it?