OP is a troll. Don't feed the troll. people.

Anonymous wrote:
You need to have your son evaluated.

My son was like this in 4th grade, got marked down until he was failing and it was a horrible year for his self-esteem.
At the same time he won the Young Author's Contest for his school.
That summer he was diagnosed with severe inattentive ADHD, and the IQ test included in the assessment showed he has abysmal processing speed, which explained why he could not finish anything on time. Not everyone with ADHD has slow processing speed, but it is common for the inattentive daydreamer-kind of ADHD.

The school gave him accommodations (extra time etc) with an IEP. Now he is doing much better in 5th. The IQ test also showed he was gifted and under medication, his grades have shot up.

Where did you have your son tested? We have talked to the school about testing because my DS is a poor speller, but they have said that it isn't necessary and he just needs to learn to use his resources to compensate (which we are working on). They have never suggested that he may have ADHD. His grades are A/B, except for a C+ in writing because he still isn't good at using the resources and he gets behind because he avoids it. I think that he may be immature and bored, but I am not sure about the ADHD. Is this something to raise with the pediatrician or demand that the school test him? A lot of this I think is a basic problem with the educational philosophy and teaching by worksheet. I think he's just sick to death of worksheets.

Anonymous wrote:Pro tip: don't come to DCUM for advice. The answer is always "your kid is stupid and you are a bad parent".

I don't think that's what PPs are saying. But OP, if your child cannot do something it seems the other kids in his class can-- finish his class work in class so that he doesn't have an overwhelming amount of homework-- are you going to say:

-I KNOW my kid is capable of working just as hard/industriously as the other kids, even on boring tasks. He is not a kindergartener. I am going to work with him on this and on completing homework more quickly.

-Worksheets and homework are a waste of time, I disagree with the teacher, and so we are going to boycott homework and resent the teacher.

-Maybe my kid is working his hardest and genuinely needs help because he is not capable of doing something all the other kids in his class can do.

I am sympathetic with all points of view. You are the parent and it is your choice. It has nothing to do with stupidity. It may have to do with work ethic, desire, judgment of how important this is, or learning differences, but I have a feeling it is the "waste of time" thing and your son knows you are on the same page with him and is thus unmotivated to hurry up or change in any way. And that may be fine with you!

You need to have your son evaluated.

My son was like this in 4th grade, got marked down until he was failing and it was a horrible year for his self-esteem.
At the same time he won the Young Author's Contest for his school.
That summer he was diagnosed with severe inattentive ADHD, and the IQ test included in the assessment showed he has abysmal processing speed, which explained why he could not finish anything on time. Not everyone with ADHD has slow processing speed, but it is common for the inattentive daydreamer-kind of ADHD.

The school gave him accommodations (extra time etc) with an IEP. Now he is doing much better in 5th. The IQ test also showed he was gifted and under medication, his grades have shot up.

Anonymous wrote:Not an expert here, but wondering how much time your son gets to run around and have unscheduled time alone. My kid can't focus as well if he hasn't had any break after school.

OP here-he attends SACC after school and they have some playground time and then homework time after. For a while, he was getting everything done during that period but there was a teacher there monitoring and assisting the older kids in another room so he was able to stay on task. That has stopped and now, he's in the gym with all the other kids and lots of distractions and all the things that are going on are a lot more interesting than the hundredth math or language worksheet he's trying to do.

The teacher responded to my DH's email basically saying that DS has enough time to do everything and that he requires redirection to stay on task. She had been using some strategies to help him with that but that seems to have waned. I am not sure how I am supposed to monitor that when I am not sitting in the classroom with him all day. He seems to find all these worksheets boring and would rather read or talk to his friends or stare out the window. It's a bit of a vicious cycle and I don't know how to help him. Of course, he has to learn to manage his work and his time but I don't really see the benefit of multiple worksheet packets and homework every single night for a 9 year old. Isn't running around and playing with after being in school all day important?

And no, I have no reason to think he has ADHD.

Not an expert here, but wondering how much time your son gets to run around and have unscheduled time alone. My kid can't focus as well if he hasn't had any break after school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be wondering why my son can't keep up if I were you. If he's not keeping up now it's only going to get worse. I think you're asking the wrong question. Deciding to boycott instead of investigate the underlying issue doesn't make sense to me.

We have investigated the issue. We have met with the teacher MULTIPLE times to talk about why he's having trouble keeping up. We've tried strategies to help him stay focused and those worked well for a while. But, lately it's ticked up again and with all this stupid prep for the SOLs on top of all these worksheets, he's drowning in it again. I'm telling you that the amount of work is not reasonable and wondering how other parents would approach the problem. But of course, you must assume that there's something wrong with my kid or my parenting.

I never assumed something is wrong with your parenting and I'm not sure why you would go there. My point is that it gets worse - I have kids from 3rd through 12th, including a SN child, so I've see it first hand. my point is that you've got to get to the root of the problem not try to get out of responsibilities.

Pro tip: don't come to DCUM for advice. The answer is always "your kid is stupid and you are a bad parent".

Teacher seems reasonable to me. 20 min max + reading should not be too much in 4th grade. Like pp said, investigate why this gives you DS so much trouble.

Anonymous wrote:I'd be wondering why my son can't keep up if I were you. If he's not keeping up now it's only going to get worse. I think you're asking the wrong question. Deciding to boycott instead of investigate the underlying issue doesn't make sense to me.

+1 What do you plan to do next year, when the amount/time required increases? Or in middle school? Is he working steadily or wasting time (doodling, staring, getting a drink, etc.).

Anonymous wrote:I'd be wondering why my son can't keep up if I were you. If he's not keeping up now it's only going to get worse. I think you're asking the wrong question. Deciding to boycott instead of investigate the underlying issue doesn't make sense to me.

We have investigated the issue. We have met with the teacher MULTIPLE times to talk about why he's having trouble keeping up. We've tried strategies to help him stay focused and those worked well for a while. But, lately it's ticked up again and with all this stupid prep for the SOLs on top of all these worksheets, he's drowning in it again. I'm telling you that the amount of work is not reasonable and wondering how other parents would approach the problem. But of course, you must assume that there's something wrong with my kid or my parenting.

I'd be wondering why my son can't keep up if I were you. If he's not keeping up now it's only going to get worse. I think you're asking the wrong question. Deciding to boycott instead of investigate the underlying issue doesn't make sense to me.

Anonymous wrote:Is it 20 or 40 minutes? Just stop after time is up.

She says 40 mins-10 mins for each grade level but that's supposed to include the 20 mins of reading. If all he had was one worksheet, he could get that done. But he ends up with so much classwork that he hasn't completed that he is constantly behind. Whenever I bring it up, she says he has plenty of time to do it in class and that she doesn't expect him to finish it at home. Yet, he gets marked down on the assignments if he doesn't finish. He's stressed and cries about it and says he hates school (he used to love it). If I just quit, it may affect his grades or he may feel pressure in class because he's so far behind. Its a ridiculous amount of work for 4th grade.

Is it 20 or 40 minutes? Just stop after time is up.

My DS is in the 4th grade and has a good and kind teacher, but one who gives an incredible amount of class and homework. DS is constantly behind on the classwork and has 40+ mins of homework every night, plus trying to catch up the classwork. Now they've added studying and prepping for the SOLs. This has been an ongoing battle all year and we have met and emailed with the teacher multiple times. Each time, she listens and says that she doesn't want him to spend more than 20 mins doing homework and she has all sorts of strategies she and we can try. Things will improve for a few weeks and then it's back to multiple worksheets and hours after school. The situation is causing a lot of stress for my kid and my family. DH and I got in a huge fight last night over it...mainly because DS was crying about the amount of work and wanting to just relax finally, I'm asking DS to work a little on catching up his writing assignment, and DH blowing up at both of us (he later apologized). DH emailed the teacher again last night and she wrote back with the same "he's only supposed to have 40 mins and has plenty of time to finish the work in class" line. My DS is an average student and a good kid. He will do the work if he can, but how much should be expected of a 9 y/o. I'm at the point of telling her we're done with it for the rest of the year.