I would not stay married to someone who cheated.

Anonymous wrote:So your husband cheats and now you're living the celibate life for appearances? Was it bad sex?

I am not "celibate" I just don't sleep with him.

Sex with him was better, more intimate, and more often... but I did not create this situation, I am just handling it gracefully.

We live together so we don't have to split time with kids and finance another house. I suspect one of us will eventually find somebody and be motivated to change the situation. I will keep the house since I can afford it on my own.

Appearances??? All our friends know we are separated, I don't care what strangers think.

So your husband cheats and now you're living the celibate life for appearances? Was it bad sex?

^^^

Thanks! I am doing great. We get along really well.

I don't take his problems personally, have tons of friends (support system), a great job, great kids, more time to woekout now that he doesn't take up so much of my attention, etc

He would take the old life back if he could but he cant.

I hope he find somebody nice and does not make the same mistake with her.

Anonymous wrote:My H cheated.. and cheats.

I told him he could move to the aupair suite and continue cheating and stop having sex with me.

He gets to see his kids every day. Our finances are the same.

It works for me.

He is miserable because nobody wants to date him and he no longer gets it twice a week from me.

I figure he gets some about once a month here and there.

I volunteer to take his place getting it twice a week. That's more than what I get. haha. In all seriousness I hope your situation gets better and that it's not too stressful on you.

Yes, but it won't make things better.

My H cheated.. and cheats.

I told him he could move to the aupair suite and continue cheating and stop having sex with me.

He gets to see his kids every day. Our finances are the same.

It works for me.

He is miserable because nobody wants to date him and he no longer gets it twice a week from me.

I figure he gets some about once a month here and there.

Only if you personally wouldn't feel bad cheating. Do you want your kids and friends to see that as an example? It's what's inside you that counts.

I think you should go to counseling if you want to save the marriage. Also I would write a nice letter to him detailing what you know then say that if you continue to do what you are doing our marriage will be "open" until further notice.

Anonymous wrote:It does, but why not just open the relationship and get it all above board?

+1 agreed.

Yes, but cheating can shut down your moral compass and end up leaving you feeling dead inside. Agree with pp re declaring an open marriage.

It does, but why not just open the relationship and get it all above board?

Two wrongs don't make a right ? Seriously you don't have enough self respect that jet walk? See a lawyer

IMO yes. But maybe better to go to counseling. So sorry OP.

I don't want a divorce b/c it's expensive. Does this give me carte blanche to have an affair?