I'm not sure if your ex is on her child's birth certificate or not. But if you every plan to travel with your child and they need a passport. The agency needs both parents to be present if both are on the birth certificate. I learned this last year when I was getting my daughter a passport for our trip to Jamaica. They kept saying the dad needs to be here. I politely said there is no father in the picture and he is not on her birth certificate.
Thankfully I never got around to putting her father on her birth certificate. If I did I would have never been able to get her a passport. Just something else to think about or keep in mind.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have custody and child support worked out through the courts? Do that now so that you don't have to worry about it in the future.

Other than that, go easy on yourself. Do the best you can, and realize that you and your child will be just fine. It's hard to be a single parent (my child is 7 now, I've been single since he was 10mo), but it gets easier as they become more independent. I'm not sure what to expect of the teen years, but I'm sure we'll be just fine.

This is important. Even if you don't think your ex will ever pay any support, it is easier to get paternity settled now rather than later (he may move and you may not be able to find him. Some people will say not to list him anywhere and not to establish paternity (so that he can have any visitation). However, whether paternity is established now or at a later date, he will get some visitation if he asks for it in court. It is very easy for him to establish paternity at a later date. I would go ahead that get that out of the way. Get the state to file for the child support enforcement. Even if you think you don't need the money, put it in a savings account for college or something. Better yet, use that child support money to treat yourself to babysitters now and then so you don't get burnt out.

Do you have custody and child support worked out through the courts? Do that now so that you don't have to worry about it in the future.

Other than that, go easy on yourself. Do the best you can, and realize that you and your child will be just fine. It's hard to be a single parent (my child is 7 now, I've been single since he was 10mo), but it gets easier as they become more independent. I'm not sure what to expect of the teen years, but I'm sure we'll be just fine.

I think what helped me most get through the days was to remind myself what I had. I started a gratitude journal, and just wrote down all the things I was blessed to have in my life. I made myself tell my DS each night as part of our bed time routine our best times in the day.

It's not easy being a single parent. I did have some wonderful friends to help me, but I had no family to help me. I think that it's easy to get lost in negative thoughts and bitter feelings, and you have to fight against dwelling on the negatives and the problems.

Sometimes it's nice to be the decider, but by the time they are a teen the pressure will be so intense to make big decisions on your own--- not easy. My main advice is just to never count on your ex for anything-- you have to get out of that mindset to be happy. Sounds like you are already there. You can do this! Your baby will thrive.

OP, are you near any family? At some point, you are going to need help (sick days, etc.). Figure that out now while you are well.

I was able to find a job with a very short commute. It made everything else easier. Fewer worries about being late to get my child at daycare, easier to slip home for a plumber or repair person, just more hours spent at home and not on the road. And while the pay isn't fabulous, I'm saving money on gas and Metro. Good luck to you.

There's another great positive of being a single parent that you probably can't fully appreciate given your situation. It's so much nicer to be the decider. As a single parent, I don't have to check in with anyone about my decisions regarding my children. It's so freeing.

Also, you don't mention your financial situation, but put a little money aside each paycheck so you can go out on your own. Even if it's just to run errands and get your nails done. Take time for you when you can.

Thanks to all of you for your advice!! Very helpful!

One piece of advice that I would give is do things that need to get done right away such as taking care of the child and your well being. Anything else like keeping your place super clean can wait.

Some other things that helped me are when you need help ask for it. I always felt like I could do it all until I realized I will drive myself crazy with that thinking. So if you have family and friends near by who are willing to help. Ask. I would have my mom come over for an hour or two to watch the baby while I slept or made meals.

There is one great positive of being a single parent you get to witness all the milestones while the other parent misses out. Also you don't have to consider someone's option about parenting. You can parent your child how you want to.

Just echoing the other advice. Find other single parent friends. Join a gym with childcare so you can give yourself an hour to exercise. The baby years are tough and can be incredibly isolating. Accept people's help if they offer it. Ask for help when you need it.

Definitely try meet ups or other ways to meet single parents. There will be times when you really need a break (all parents feel this way from time to time). You need to have a good friend or relative who can take the child when you are about to blow or at your wits end.

On a positive note, there are things that are easier with a father that is not involved with the child. You will be able to make almost all the important decisions on your own. You don't have to leave your child in the care of the father and worry about whether he is taking care of the child in a way that you would feel comfortable with. You can parent the way you want to. You are the only providing discipline, so you don't have to worry about someone undermining your parenting skills.

Remember, though, it is better for your daughter to know her father. Even if he isn't around much, it is worth trying to maintain a healthy and civil relationship with him (for the sake of your daughter). He may never step up to the plate, but he might mature, grow up, and become a better father.

It is really rough until the child is in school full time, but you can do this! Single parenting is not for the faint of heart, but those who do it well are heroes. I would absolutely hire a single parent who has their sh*t together. These women (and men) can do anything they set their mind to.

Much love to you.

During the early years I found a single parents group at our church. One of the ladies is still my friend (17years later) and we are still both single and raising our DDs together. So, try to find other single moms (church,daycare,etc)

Not going to lie -- being a single mom is tough and the baby years are hard. But the best part is that no one ever disappoints you. You never expect anyone else to change diapers, comfort the baby, make dinner, get the groceries, do the dishes or laundry. If it doesn't get done, it's because you didn't do it.

Make mom friends who are in a similar situation. Either they are also single or they are "single" because their spouse always works. Have play dates with them--they get it.

I'm a single mom of a 10 month old. The backstory: dad cheated for many months while I was pregnant and shortly after my daughter was born. He kept leaving and barely was around our daughter (nor did he support her.) I found out through the young lady putting their relationship on blast via social media. I finally had enough and ended our engagement. Its something that I try not to focus on because I feel like the whole incident sucked my energy up for two months and that was energy that could have been spent on my daughter. Basically I've done this alone since birth and I've come to terms that he wants very limited involvement with our daughter. I refuse to have a pity party for myself or for my daughter. I think that we will be better off without him but I do have my rough days (emotionally.) So I guess my question for all you single parents out there is : 1. How do you manage to keep everything together without losing yourself? 2. If there's one piece of advice knowing what you know now about being a single parent, what would it be?