Anonymous wrote:Yeah, the whole reason its a secret insult is because you can't prove you're being insulted (since its also used sincerely).

This is why I hate the South. It's a cesspool of passive aggressiveness.

Doesn't mean FU. Here's an example of it in correct Southern context: "She's dumb as a doornail, bless her heart." "She couldn't cook a precooked ham, bless her heart." "Her face is as long as a horse's, bless her heart." Kind of an apology for an insult. It could also be used when someone feels sort of sorry for you.

The usage you're describing might be a little patronizing, but she likely means something along the lines of "you poor thing".

In this context, it basically means the speaker feels sorry for you, or, that's too bad. I am picking up a slight suggestion that she doesn't like you all that much In general, though.

Anonymous wrote:It's northerners that use it in a condescending way.

Well isn't that sweet of you to think!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, the whole reason its a secret insult is because you can't prove you're being insulted (since its also used sincerely).

If someone says it to you and you think they are actually being insulting, how would you respond? Would you just let it go? Or is there any acceptable comeback?

I usually just let it go. As one of the other Southerns said, its not usually meant as an insult, its just sometimes kind of condescending in context, in that "I wouldn't personally wear that outfit to a social event, but its fine for you to wear it" kind of way.

It's northerners that use it in a condescending way.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I grew up in the South, and it was never used in a snarky way. It always meant, "Oh, you poor dear." Maybe condescending and a little syrupy at times, but I highly doubt she meant it in a "f*** you" fashion.

Maybe it's more when it's "bless *her* heart" (not your) - in retelling a story or something. I don't want to get pissed off / hurt if there's nothing to get pissed off/ hurt about. Thank you

Sorry, I grew up in the South, and it was never used in a snarky way. It always meant, "Oh, you poor dear." Maybe condescending and a little syrupy at times, but I highly doubt she meant it in a "f*** you" fashion.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, the whole reason its a secret insult is because you can't prove you're being insulted (since its also used sincerely).

If someone says it to you and you think they are actually being insulting, how would you respond? Would you just let it go? Or is there any acceptable comeback?

Yeah, the whole reason its a secret insult is because you can't prove you're being insulted (since its also used sincerely).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't mean "fuck you" in this context. It means "You poor thing..." It has different meanings based on context.

Ahh, ok good. I was really confused. Thank you!

(and upset!)

Bless your heart can go in either direction.

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't mean "fuck you" in this context. It means "You poor thing..." It has different meanings based on context.

Ahh, ok good. I was really confused. Thank you!

It doesn't mean "fuck you" in this context. It means "You poor thing..." It has different meanings based on context.

I have a coworker who says this to me if I am sick. It is said in the most nonconfrontational way and with sympathy in the voice, but I know it means "go eff yourself" (essentially). I am from the north. She is from the South. I feel like - what is your problem, I am sick - it has nothing to do with you. Please let me know how to respond.