Who cares? He didn't want to get into it and he has a right to his autonomy. Don't micromanage.

He had a lunch date and it wasn't with you. By the way, the sex is irrelevant. Nothing like new vagina

Surprise him for lunch one day

I don't know why. but one day I opened the ashtray in DH's car (no one in our house smokes). Inside the ashtray were two lipstick stained cigarette butts.

DH's explanations were ridiculous. Blatant, stupid lies.

Things between us have never been the same.

My first thought was -- do you have a birthday, anniversary or vacation coming up? Any chance he was running an errand in advance of those and doesn't want you to ruin the surprise?

Somehow I don't think a man who gchats his wife daily, has sex 3 times a week, and uses a cover story re free subs and weather is having a quickie at lunch.

How old are you guys and how long have you been married? You mention he hangs with buddies -- does he have female friends and would you have a problem with that? Any chance a female friend was in town or something across town and he went to have lunch (not sex . . . just lunch) with her and doesn't want to tell you bc he thinks you'll make a federal case out of it?

Was he letting you see what he was doing on his phone when he whipped it out? Sorry but my first thought is he was deleting messages or something of the sort. But I tend to be the paranoid type. I thought I was being the cool wife giving him space to hang out with his buddies too. Little did I know..

No he wasn't getting you something. I wouldn't say anything this weekend, he will just lie if he's doing something he shouldn't be. Instead, I would watch him like a hawk and go meet him for lunch as a surprise at work a few times.

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a huge red flag. I would be tempted not to say anything and just keep your eye out for any other weird behaviors or unexplained absences.

Beware of jumping to conclusions though. That will drive you crazy. You just never know. Maybe he was out getting you something special for Mother's Day.

This was my initial thought. Or, birthday or anniversary.

This sounds like a huge red flag. I would be tempted not to say anything and just keep your eye out for any other weird behaviors or unexplained absences.

Beware of jumping to conclusions though. That will drive you crazy. You just never know. Maybe he was out getting you something special for Mother's Day.

This kind of lying about extremely low-stakes (no-stakes?) situations is not a good sign. Sorry, OP.

Do not have children with this man. It's likely there's cheating going on during the day.

Maybe he was embarrassed because he had to pay full price ?

trust your gut.

Anonymous wrote:Does he usually use credit cards to pay for lunch? Check your statements. The fact that you went straight to talking about sex life tells me this hasn't been the only clue...

No. Cash.

I went to talking about our sex life because this is DCUM, where the root of all relationship problems is that the wife does not put out.

Does he usually use credit cards to pay for lunch? Check your statements. The fact that you went straight to talking about sex life tells me this hasn't been the only clue...

My husband and I work a few blocks from each other and gchat sporadically throughout the day.

Yesterday he told me he was going to Jimmy Johns for dollar sub day. Two hours later, he came back on, and we had a quick exchange about his lunch, and went about our days.

Today, I was talking to a coworker and she mentioned she was bummed that the Jimmy Johns closest to our office didn't participate in the dollar sub promotion. So tonight I mentioned to my husband that the Jimmy Johns by our offices didn't participate in the promotion. His expression changed in a weird way, and he said something about going to another shop on the other side of town. Then he started acting really weird, and pulled out his phone and started obsessing about the weather tomorrow. Something felt really off, so I went upstairs and googled Jimmy Johns locations. There isn't one anywhere near where he said he went.

I've never been one to snoop, and I don't really care to, but I don't know what to do now. I think if I am going to address it, it needs to be this weekend, because it's not fair to sit on stuff like this. Either I say something tomorrow, or I let it go. But what do I say?

For what it's worth, we have active, varied, and regular (three times per week) sex. Just last weekend he commented how the sex keeps getting better. I think I give him a good amount of space (he goes out with his friends twice a week and I don't question it, or guilt him).

I feel really sick to my stomach right now.