Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 09:31     Subject: Re:My child tells me he hates me daily
Anonymous wrote:My husband would beat the shit out of his child if he ever disrespected his mother


Yes, because physical abuse is totally okay, but saying something negative isn't.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 09:30     Subject: My child tells me he hates me daily
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I suggest you stop letting him get a rise out of you.


You are lucky he waited till 13.


They are so terrible during the teen years...
Sometimes I think the better the time spent before, the more quality time spent in the young years, the worse the teen separation years are.
It's either because they are closer to you so they feel more comfortable sending this kind of crap your way or they just feel the need to separate more strongly or both.

Sometimes I say (I hate you too- she knows I don't) but I try to say positive things anyway, honey.

They hurl all this crap your way but when I point out to my 17 year old that she has only one more year until she's an adult and off to college on her own she gets a bit freaked out (what?!).

Just remember that teens are totally nuts.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 09:30     Subject: My child tells me he hates me daily
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stay kind and loving. "I'm sorry you feel that way, I love you". Ride it out. Make sure you're spending quality time doing something with your kid that the kid enjoys. 13 year old hormones are insane.



I'm a single parent so I get no backup. I tell my kids they have to treat me with respect -- if they don't feel it, they have to fake it. Not at 13 yet but on the verge. Teaching them to be respectful is part of my job as a parent. I would never tolerate that. I may say 'I'm sorry you feel that way, I love you. And you have a right to your feelings, but you are never, ever to say that to me again. would you like it if I told you every time I had a negative feeling about you? We wouldn't be able to function in a family like that, and society can't function with people behaving like that. Nice people don't say things like that." Etc.

If you are putting up with it, then I"m sorry but you are partially responsible. To me this would be very serious.


+1. This is 9:28 and you and I are on the same wavelength.


We cross-posted.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 09:30     Subject: Re:My child tells me he hates me daily
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband would beat the shit out of his child if he ever disrespected his mother

Your DH sounds trashy.


A trashy husband is one who allows a man to disrespect a woman. The woman being his own mother at that.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 09:28     Subject: My child tells me he hates me daily
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Stay kind and loving. "I'm sorry you feel that way, I love you". Ride it out. Make sure you're spending quality time doing something with your kid that the kid enjoys. 13 year old hormones are insane.



I'm a single parent so I get no backup. I tell my kids they have to treat me with respect -- if they don't feel it, they have to fake it. Not at 13 yet but on the verge. Teaching them to be respectful is part of my job as a parent. I would never tolerate that. I may say 'I'm sorry you feel that way, I love you. And you have a right to your feelings, but you are never, ever to say that to me again. would you like it if I told you every time I had a negative feeling about you? We wouldn't be able to function in a family like that, and society can't function with people behaving like that. Nice people don't say things like that." Etc.

If you are putting up with it, then I"m sorry but you are partially responsible. To me this would be very serious.


+1. This is 9:28 and you and I are on the same wavelength.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 09:28     Subject: My child tells me he hates me daily
I was not allowed to say "I hate you" to my mother growing up. I wanted to say it a LOT, though. We are super close today and always were - the teen years suck. I don't think a teen thinking that he hates is parents is unusual.

My mother absolutely put her foot down about me saying "I hate you" when I was a teen and in retrospect, I think that was a very good decision. It's about respect for your parents. My mom would tell me - I know you think that you hate me but you don't actually and one day, you will regret saying that. I think you can validate the kid's emotions while simultaneously requiring that he respect you enough not to say that.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 09:23     Subject: Re:My child tells me he hates me daily
Anonymous wrote:My husband would beat the shit out of his child if he ever disrespected his mother

Your DH sounds trashy.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 09:22     Subject: Re:My child tells me he hates me daily
My husband would beat the shit out of his child if he ever disrespected his mother
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 09:21     Subject: My child tells me he hates me daily
Anonymous wrote:Stay kind and loving. "I'm sorry you feel that way, I love you". Ride it out. Make sure you're spending quality time doing something with your kid that the kid enjoys. 13 year old hormones are insane.



I'm a single parent so I get no backup. I tell my kids they have to treat me with respect -- if they don't feel it, they have to fake it. Not at 13 yet but on the verge. Teaching them to be respectful is part of my job as a parent. I would never tolerate that. I may say 'I'm sorry you feel that way, I love you. And you have a right to your feelings, but you are never, ever to say that to me again. would you like it if I told you every time I had a negative feeling about you? We wouldn't be able to function in a family like that, and society can't function with people behaving like that. Nice people don't say things like that." Etc.

If you are putting up with it, then I"m sorry but you are partially responsible. To me this would be very serious.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 09:20     Subject: My child tells me he hates me daily
Is he saying this because he's not getting his way? How did it started?
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 09:20     Subject: My child tells me he hates me daily
Anonymous wrote:I suggest you stop letting him get a rise out of you.


You are lucky he waited till 13.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 09:17     Subject: My child tells me he hates me daily
I suggest you stop letting him get a rise out of you.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 08:42     Subject: My child tells me he hates me daily
Stay kind and loving. "I'm sorry you feel that way, I love you". Ride it out. Make sure you're spending quality time doing something with your kid that the kid enjoys. 13 year old hormones are insane.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 08:37     Subject: My child tells me he hates me daily
So what are you doing about it?

Maybe get your child into some volunteering opportunities for the much less fortunate. A prescription for humility and gratefulness could do a lot of teens some good.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2016 08:33     Subject: My child tells me he hates me daily
Some times multiple times. 13 . We are good parents and kind, loving people. It's horrible.