Who judges people for not looking "put together" at the pool of all places? Op, you need a hobby.

Anonymous wrote:My Dh has an insane metabolism and can eat 4xs what I eat and doesn't gain an ounce. I, on the other hand, go over 1300 calories and eat some bread and I'm a bloated mess. We both exercise and eat healthy. We met when we were both dorky college kids and fell in love then and we are still crazy in love. Active sex life, madly in love. It happens, even if my BMI is overweight. I have friends who are more closely matched in looks and they're miserable...don't judge a book by the cover!

This. Dh actually had quite a crush on me before we wound up getting together. I was the hot one when we met. A decade and a half, two kids and a metabolism shift later - he was the hot one.

But we got together because we were compatible and it was easy, fun and natural for us to be together. That is still the case today .

.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This describes my first marriage except for the kids, luckily. She had put on 50lbs or so since we started dating. I'd be lying if I said it didn't impact my attraction to her. She ended up having multiple affairs on me (emotional and physical). After the second affair that I knew of at the time (I later found out she'd had about 5 affairs) I called it quits.

There are a few lessons in here: 1) it doesn't matter how much a woman has let herself go - there always be guys lined up to screw her even when married. 2) Unhappy people do unhappy things. The weight gain, affairs, drinking, financial recklessness were all symptoms of a bigger problem. Our relationship didn't giver her what she needed to be happy. I was dumb and should have pulled the ripcord much earlier.

I've now been married over a decade to my best friend. She's amazing at everything - including staying fit.

Think you have posted about this before. What a nightmare. By the way, your description is the textbook definition of a sociopath.

Honestly, it was tough at the time but now I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. That episode provided perspective.

Anonymous wrote:This describes my first marriage except for the kids, luckily. She had put on 50lbs or so since we started dating. I'd be lying if I said it didn't impact my attraction to her. She ended up having multiple affairs on me (emotional and physical). After the second affair that I knew of at the time (I later found out she'd had about 5 affairs) I called it quits.

There are a few lessons in here: 1) it doesn't matter how much a woman has let herself go - there always be guys lined up to screw her even when married. 2) Unhappy people do unhappy things. The weight gain, affairs, drinking, financial recklessness were all symptoms of a bigger problem. Our relationship didn't giver her what she needed to be happy. I was dumb and should have pulled the ripcord much earlier.

I've now been married over a decade to my best friend. She's amazing at everything - including staying fit.

Think you have posted about this before. What a nightmare. By the way, your description is the textbook definition of a sociopath.

Maybe she laughs at his jokes and gives good head

This describes my first marriage except for the kids, luckily. She had put on 50lbs or so since we started dating. I'd be lying if I said it didn't impact my attraction to her. She ended up having multiple affairs on me (emotional and physical). After the second affair that I knew of at the time (I later found out she'd had about 5 affairs) I called it quits.

There are a few lessons in here: 1) it doesn't matter how much a woman has let herself go - there always be guys lined up to screw her even when married. 2) Unhappy people do unhappy things. The weight gain, affairs, drinking, financial recklessness were all symptoms of a bigger problem. Our relationship didn't giver her what she needed to be happy. I was dumb and should have pulled the ripcord much earlier.

I've now been married over a decade to my best friend. She's amazing at everything - including staying fit.

Jesus OP. I mean it's one thing to think this. That's bad enough. But to post it shows that really have no sense at all of how totally awful it is.

Maybe he's not as shallow as you? Maybe he recognizes that women are more than the sum of their looks? Just a crazy thought.

My Dh has an insane metabolism and can eat 4xs what I eat and doesn't gain an ounce. I, on the other hand, go over 1300 calories and eat some bread and I'm a bloated mess. We both exercise and eat healthy. We met when we were both dorky college kids and fell in love then and we are still crazy in love. Active sex life, madly in love. It happens, even if my BMI is overweight. I have friends who are more closely matched in looks and they're miserable...don't judge a book by the cover!

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she's depressed.

Op, you sound like a lovely person.

Maybe he thinks she's hot.

Maybe they got together when he was a sloppy mess of a guy/

Maybe she's ill.

Maybe they have an open relationship.

Maybe he's closet and gay.


Who knows. It's nor your relationship. Not your business.

What happened? I had two kids (one with special needs) and continued to work full time as an attorney. DH loves me anyway.

Maybe she's depressed.

Op, you sound like a lovely person.

Anonymous wrote:I was out at the pool and saw this attractive dad, relatively good shape, with his kids. There was this very unattractive woman, overweight, frumpy, not well put together with him. I honestly thought it was the babysitter or something, but it was his wife! I couldn't take my eyes off of them, what happened, how could she let it go so far? I feel in general men tend to go "up" in looks, any men who was not as hot as the wife then have a total reversal?

Maybe he loves her.

I only know one couple mismatched in that direction. the vast majority of mismatched couples, the DH is ugly and the DW is attractive. But who knows what draws people together.

I was out at the pool and saw this attractive dad, relatively good shape, with his kids. There was this very unattractive woman, overweight, frumpy, not well put together with him. I honestly thought it was the babysitter or something, but it was his wife! I couldn't take my eyes off of them, what happened, how could she let it go so far? I feel in general men tend to go "up" in looks, any men who was not as hot as the wife then have a total reversal?