Anonymous
04/14/2016 04:49
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
Yeah and it seems to always be their ex-wife's best friend or friend.
TwistdMike
04/13/2016 23:31
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Many women are no longer financially dependent on men. Men, however, are still dependent on women for a lot of things around the house. This seems to be the impetus for many divorces in the first place. Also, if it's true that women can find sexual partners more easily, there's less need for them to seek sexual security in marriage.
Basically, men gain more from marriage than women do. Thus they are probably more driven to remarry.
Dependent on women for a lot of things around the house?
During my bachelor days after the divorce, I had absolutely no issues with managing things around the house. From paying bills, cleaning top to bottom, cooking, ironing, etc. actually, I find it easier to maintain a clean house when I am alone, no digging long hair out of the shower drain, no soap scum on the shower walls, 2-3 hours a week to clean top to bottom.
If I needed sex, could either go out and find "miss right now" or take care of things during the morning shower.
So it wasn't dependency upon a woman for those things that got me married again. It was companionship and wanting to share my life with someone, to have a meaningful relationship. To share success, pleasure, pain, loss, etc. to have support and to be support.
You can be surrounded by people, have hundreds or thousands of FB friends, but without that special someone, you will be alone.
I believe men and women have equal gains in a good relationship...
Anonymous
04/13/2016 22:33
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
Many women are no longer financially dependent on men. Men, however, are still dependent on women for a lot of things around the house. This seems to be the impetus for many divorces in the first place. Also, if it's true that women can find sexual partners more easily, there's less need for them to seek sexual security in marriage.
Basically, men gain more from marriage than women do. Thus they are probably more driven to remarry.
Basically, men gain more from marriage than women do. Thus they are probably more driven to remarry.
Anonymous
04/13/2016 22:01
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
Anonymous wrote:dear pp- I am 50 and was with ex-DH for 24 years. We both worked but he never helped with the kids and used me as an atm. I ended up having to pay him 6 figures to end the marriage. Your experience was not mine!Anonymous wrote:I think there are plenty of low self-esteem women out there that are willing to accept a messed up man. That seems to be the case with my ex's new wife, who married him despite numerous red flags. She is over 40 and desperate for one last chance to try to get pregnant. She also comes from a culture where being partnered with a man is the ultimate accomplishment (despite the fact that she is an accomplished professional).
Conversely, I think divorced women are far less likely to get remarried to just any guy because, frankly, the economics and risks of marriage are just not favorable to women. I can earn enough to take care of myself. Tying myself legally to another guy just ups my risk. I'd rather sleep with/partner with someone without the risk of having to go thru another split and come out with the short end of the stick (again).
I know men think that they're the ones that pay in divorce, but looking around, I see many women have to give up aspects of themselves and their careers in a relationship and then are not given equal assets in divorce and recompense and they end up old and poor.
Many older divorced women never re-marry because they just don't want to lose their lives again.
As a divorced guy I'll be magnanimous and suggest that it's a bad proposition for both men and women. My own experience is that I provided 95% of the money to finance most the major purchases over 12 year marriage. According to no fault divorce she got 50% of the assets. So MY experience does not square with you're saying
Anonymous
04/13/2016 20:55
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Just guessing, but I expect divorced men are more likely to find someone to settle down with for a second marriage while divorced women have an easier time finding someone to have sex with.
Men tend to remarry faster than woman. As for your second point, it has always been that way. Guys will seriously screw anyone.
Anonymous
04/13/2016 19:47
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
Anonymous wrote:I think there are plenty of low self-esteem women out there that are willing to accept a messed up man. That seems to be the case with my ex's new wife, who married him despite numerous red flags. She is over 40 and desperate for one last chance to try to get pregnant. She also comes from a culture where being partnered with a man is the ultimate accomplishment (despite the fact that she is an accomplished professional).
Conversely, I think divorced women are far less likely to get remarried to just any guy because, frankly, the economics and risks of marriage are just not favorable to women. I can earn enough to take care of myself. Tying myself legally to another guy just ups my risk. I'd rather sleep with/partner with someone without the risk of having to go thru another split and come out with the short end of the stick (again).
I know men think that they're the ones that pay in divorce, but looking around, I see many women have to give up aspects of themselves and their careers in a relationship and then are not given equal assets in divorce and recompense and they end up old and poor.
Many older divorced women never re-marry because they just don't want to lose their lives again.
As a divorced guy I'll be magnanimous and suggest that it's a bad proposition for both men and women. My own experience is that I provided 95% of the money to finance most the major purchases over 12 year marriage. According to no fault divorce she got 50% of the assets. So MY experience does not square with you're saying
Anonymous
04/13/2016 16:36
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
Just guessing, but I expect divorced men are more likely to find someone to settle down with for a second marriage while divorced women have an easier time finding someone to have sex with.
Anonymous
04/13/2016 16:32
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
I think there are plenty of low self-esteem women out there that are willing to accept a messed up man. That seems to be the case with my ex's new wife, who married him despite numerous red flags. She is over 40 and desperate for one last chance to try to get pregnant. She also comes from a culture where being partnered with a man is the ultimate accomplishment (despite the fact that she is an accomplished professional).
Conversely, I think divorced women are far less likely to get remarried to just any guy because, frankly, the economics and risks of marriage are just not favorable to women. I can earn enough to take care of myself. Tying myself legally to another guy just ups my risk. I'd rather sleep with/partner with someone without the risk of having to go thru another split and come out with the short end of the stick (again).
I know men think that they're the ones that pay in divorce, but looking around, I see many women have to give up aspects of themselves and their careers in a relationship and then are not given equal assets in divorce and recompense and they end up old and poor.
Many older divorced women never re-marry because they just don't want to lose their lives again.
Conversely, I think divorced women are far less likely to get remarried to just any guy because, frankly, the economics and risks of marriage are just not favorable to women. I can earn enough to take care of myself. Tying myself legally to another guy just ups my risk. I'd rather sleep with/partner with someone without the risk of having to go thru another split and come out with the short end of the stick (again).
I know men think that they're the ones that pay in divorce, but looking around, I see many women have to give up aspects of themselves and their careers in a relationship and then are not given equal assets in divorce and recompense and they end up old and poor.
Many older divorced women never re-marry because they just don't want to lose their lives again.
Anonymous
04/13/2016 15:48
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
I'm a divorced dad (equally shared custody) - perhaps an outlier though.
I used a couple of on-line sites (OKC, and Match) I was fortunate to have a pretty easy time meeting women online and in the day-to-day of real life.
Men typically have to initiate contact with women first - and on average, women get contacted 10x (at least) more then men do. Although I did get contacted by women first more often than I contacted them. But generally speaking, women have a much easier time meeting men - if that is what a woman wants (which is not always the case).
I preferred to date single/divorced moms and they really were the only ones who understood the lifestyle (demands on time) of running a single parent household. In talking with friends, and even today friends of my now new DW, women who are divorced and still single (i.e., not necessarily by choice) tend to have unrealistic expectations (lists), are still carrying some emotional baggage or simply aren't in a good place (not happy).
I never compromised on my kid - my dating life had to fit in around family and work. I made that clear in my profile and when I would meet women - only 1 woman I had met in 4 years seemed to have a problem with that. But I did meet a number of fantastic single moms and am lucky that I met and married an exceptional woman.
I used a couple of on-line sites (OKC, and Match) I was fortunate to have a pretty easy time meeting women online and in the day-to-day of real life.
Men typically have to initiate contact with women first - and on average, women get contacted 10x (at least) more then men do. Although I did get contacted by women first more often than I contacted them. But generally speaking, women have a much easier time meeting men - if that is what a woman wants (which is not always the case).
I preferred to date single/divorced moms and they really were the only ones who understood the lifestyle (demands on time) of running a single parent household. In talking with friends, and even today friends of my now new DW, women who are divorced and still single (i.e., not necessarily by choice) tend to have unrealistic expectations (lists), are still carrying some emotional baggage or simply aren't in a good place (not happy).
I never compromised on my kid - my dating life had to fit in around family and work. I made that clear in my profile and when I would meet women - only 1 woman I had met in 4 years seemed to have a problem with that. But I did meet a number of fantastic single moms and am lucky that I met and married an exceptional woman.
Anonymous
04/13/2016 15:34
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
Divorced woman here. PP who mentioned child-raising responsibilities is right. I have full custody so finding time to date is just not a priority right now.
Also, OP, are you married? Most women with kids I know who have been or are married have a lot of tension with their spouse over home and child responsibilities. After having been married to someone who tried to do as little as possible at home, I am not eager to repeat that. I already have enough on my plate.
Also, OP, are you married? Most women with kids I know who have been or are married have a lot of tension with their spouse over home and child responsibilities. After having been married to someone who tried to do as little as possible at home, I am not eager to repeat that. I already have enough on my plate.
Anonymous
04/13/2016 15:28
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
I hope so.
Anonymous
04/13/2016 15:26
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
A million times easier for women because men are expected to initiate. Plus, men have low standards. Any woman could leave a bar with someone or go on Match and have dates with multiple men each week.
Anonymous
04/13/2016 15:12
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
Yes, I think so.
I know a ton of single women who are perfectly happy dating guys who are divorced or separated, with or without kids. At our age (early 40's), there aren't a lot of good guys so you accept some baggage.
Some of the women I know move on fairly quickly after a divorce, but I think they're less likely. Especially if they have kids. I think that's because divorced mothers are more likely to have more custody than divorced dads, so there's less kid-free time for dating. Plus in our off hours we are more likely to be doing kid-related stuff like volunteering at school - things that take away from kid-free time.
The moms I know that moved on right away are generally not active in the school or community. They make dating a priority.
I know a ton of single women who are perfectly happy dating guys who are divorced or separated, with or without kids. At our age (early 40's), there aren't a lot of good guys so you accept some baggage.
Some of the women I know move on fairly quickly after a divorce, but I think they're less likely. Especially if they have kids. I think that's because divorced mothers are more likely to have more custody than divorced dads, so there's less kid-free time for dating. Plus in our off hours we are more likely to be doing kid-related stuff like volunteering at school - things that take away from kid-free time.
The moms I know that moved on right away are generally not active in the school or community. They make dating a priority.
Anonymous
04/13/2016 14:36
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
No one wants to marry a previously divorced person, especially if they have kids.
For a man, they have to be financially successful to attract a new spouse.
A beautiful young divorced mom will attract financially successful much older men.
For a man, they have to be financially successful to attract a new spouse.
A beautiful young divorced mom will attract financially successful much older men.
Anonymous
04/13/2016 14:34
Subject: Do men have an easier time finding new partners post a breakup/divorce?
I always see women stay single for longer periods of time than any moderately successful, okay looking man. Even the mid-late twenties women. Men over 30 are snatched up as soon as they are single, especially if they do not have any obvious drawbacks such as being unemployed or being socially awkward.
Is this your experience too? Why do you think this is?
Is this your experience too? Why do you think this is?