I would send $36 if it is not a big deal to you.

Anonymous wrote:always send a gift even if you do not attend. they thought of you and invited you (an invitation alone costs $10-$15 with postage, and were planning on spending at least $150 per head to have you attend) because they wanted you there. giving a gift is your way of saying thank you for thinking of me and i care about you as well.

You must be wealthy
I spent less than that on my wedding

always send a gift even if you do not attend. they thought of you and invited you (an invitation alone costs $10-$15 with postage, and were planning on spending at least $150 per head to have you attend) because they wanted you there. giving a gift is your way of saying thank you for thinking of me and i care about you as well.

For a work coleaue's son? Yes, send a gift.

Anonymous wrote:No. Like a wedding, if you do not attend, do not send a gift.

I always send a gift if I don't attend the wedding.

Anonymous wrote:No. Like a wedding, if you do not attend, do not send a gift.

I've never not sent a gift even if I can't attend the wedding, though I don't think that this is like a wedding.

I would do a gift card if you do not want to send cash. The multiples of 18 is better but if they are not overly religious any amount is fine. I'd do a gaming store, target, best buy, iTunes if they have apple, etc.

No. Like a wedding, if you do not attend, do not send a gift.

Anonymous wrote:If 2 adults were invited and your husbands work together and it's a professional position or Executive, I would give 100. If your husband works minimum wage at a fast food place then 18.

bribery?

I think if your husband works minimum wage at a fast food place, you would not be the kind of people who get invited

If 2 adults were invited and your husbands work together and it's a professional position or Executive, I would give 100. If your husband works minimum wage at a fast food place then 18.

Anonymous wrote:Another Jew, here to prove that if you ask two Jews, you will get three opinions. For an acquaintance relationship, gift or no gift is extremely optional. Personally, I'd send a small gift if you have a relationship with the kid, otherwise, I'd skip. Trust me, no one will notice or care if you don't send one.

The $18 thing personally drives me nuts on this board. It's a bid of Jewish numerology superstition that people do our of tradition or for good luck. Reading this board, you'd think it was a major faux pas to give a $20 iTunes card.

plus 20% tip, of course

Another Jew, here to prove that if you ask two Jews, you will get three opinions. For an acquaintance relationship, gift or no gift is extremely optional. Personally, I'd send a small gift if you have a relationship with the kid, otherwise, I'd skip. Trust me, no one will notice or care if you don't send one.

The $18 thing personally drives me nuts on this board. It's a bid of Jewish numerology superstition that people do our of tradition or for good luck. Reading this board, you'd think it was a major faux pas to give a $20 iTunes card.

I'm Jewish, have been bat mitzvah'd and have been to dozens of bar and bat mitzvahs, so obviously an authority on this subject.

Yes, like a wedding, send a gift even if you're not going. Yes, multiples of $18. Since you've never met the kid I think $36 is fine.

It actually doesn't matter. If you send a gift, that will be nice. If you don't, nobody will care. I wouldn't tie yourself up with worrying about multiples of $18. If you sent a check for $30, people would think that's quite nice. I probably wouldn't bother to send a gift but if I did it would probably be more in the $30-50 range.

We (non-Jewish) were invited to a friend's son's bar mitzvah. We can't go, but do people send a gift anyway, like if you can't go to a wedding? I generally hate giving money; I try to do gift cards to a store I know the person/couple likes. But I just read about the $18 thing. This is really what you do? Send a check for $18 or $36?

fwiw, DH and the father work together, and occasionally do something social. But we've only met the mother a few times, and have never met the kid.

what would you do?