Offer to help them by:
-Organizing the sale of their house, which they can not afford
-Going with them to sign up social security
-Sending them a list of the nearest senior housing options. Yes, $40-50K is within the income cutoff for a number of places.

Most states have a consolidated online portal where you put your info in and they tell you which benefits you're eligible for. It's simple and takes less than 20 minutes to screen yourself. Your husband should sit down with his mom and go through this.

Help them navigate the system and find housing they can afford. Don't foot the bill for a lifestyle they can't afford. When your MIL is no longer able to work, you may need to look into subsidizing them, but that seems unnecessary at this point. Two people can live off $40-50K. Your FIL can make another $25K in a non-sales job if he accepts that the time has come to say goodbye to sales. $65-75 HHI for two adults without children, student loans, etc should be comfortable enough.

If they can't afford their new house, then they should sell it.

do not do damage to your family and marriage by giving them any money. don't pay a single bill. it will only establish that you are willing to pay their bills. if you go down that path it will ruin your marriage and by the time you divorce you'll have no savings because you gave it all to FIL. You'll never see any money you give him again. If you give him anything, you must consider it a gift, not a loan. But don't do it.

Yelling at him won't work.

My uncle was the same way. Wound up declaring bankruptcy at age 66 when they got in over their heads in Florida and had some medical expenses (didn't pay insurance premiums during a time of unemployment and wife needed surgery for a broken hip).

They are now living in a subsidized senior apartment - Social Security payments go directly to the housing complex and they get a tiny cash allowance (like $40/month each). Meals provided.

His two children send gift cards to grocery stores and for gasoline to help out but will not send cash anymore.

Good luck. It would make me crazy too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They just bought a large house. That's the thing is they spend like they have a ton so now I'm baffled by the panic and lack with this firing. Mil works and earns about 40-50max so they don't qualify for any assistance

They need to sell the house. If she earns 40-50,000, yes she can qualify for housing. If you do not meet your sales quota's, yes, they get rid of you. Only the top people survive in sales. Its a tuff job.

They claim he is a big seller and wins all these awards and then boom he gets let go because of ( enter excuse). I know how arrogrant and stubborn he can be and I just want to yell at him to stop making excuses and change whatever keeps getting him fired for the sake of his wife.

Anonymous wrote:They just bought a large house. That's the thing is they spend like they have a ton so now I'm baffled by the panic and lack with this firing. Mil works and earns about 40-50max so they don't qualify for any assistance

They need to sell the house. If she earns 40-50,000, yes she can qualify for housing. If you do not meet your sales quota's, yes, they get rid of you. Only the top people survive in sales. Its a tuff job.

Is it Common to have such a high turn over rate? I mean I feel like a bitch because I'm the only one who is like if I ever got fired more than once I would take a good long look at what I bring to the table and change it. But he just blames being fired over and over again on bad lick and that's how sales is. I don't think it is...surely there are sales people all over who don't deal with this

Anonymous wrote:nope nope nopity nope. Don't pay a single bill because there will just be another and another after that.

They bought the house; FIL will either sell it or find another job.

This. They can sell the house.

I wouldn't do anything. That's enabling an addict.

nope nope nopity nope. Don't pay a single bill because there will just be another and another after that.

They bought the house; FIL will either sell it or find another job.

Your ILs have had a lot of years to dig themselves into the hole they are in (no savings, overspending on a home) and they are ADULTS. I agree with you, I wouldn't hand them a check and I would be leery of any financial help because they are not responsible with money.

It is a sad situation and your DH is trying to be a good son by helping, but in doing so he is going to damage your financial security and possibly your trust.

I would offer to get them financial counseling, there are a lot of good online courses or church led courses and some job training help. Sales is probably the only line of work your FIL has experience in and it is probably hard to go into a brand new line of work at this point.

Anonymous wrote:I would help them find low income senior housing that they can afford on social security. Paying now only helps the short term, but not for the long term.

This is good advice. OP- considering your FIL's history, you have a right to be concerned. You won't get the money you give them back, and the helping them out will likely never end. Sounds like your husband's family is in denial. I'm sorry you are in this situation.

They just bought a large house. That's the thing is they spend like they have a ton so now I'm baffled by the panic and lack with this firing. Mil works and earns about 40-50max so they don't qualify for any assistance

I would help them find low income senior housing that they can afford on social security. Paying now only helps the short term, but not for the long term.

I've been told stories about how my fil has bad luck at jobs. He works sales and gets "let go"- not fired apparently a few times a year. He never takes responsibility and everyone says he was unfairly let go every single time it happens. They all claim he is great at his job and its always the same story. The last year and a half he has gone through 3 jobs. And now we find out they just overspent on a new home and have zero savings. They can't make certain bills now. My DH of course wants to empty our savings for them and I won't allow it. We don't have that much and I'm not comfortable just handing them a check. I said find out what bills need to be paid and we can try to fill in the gap for a few months. I also think its a bigger problem....is this how all sales jobs are?? I feel like I'm the I my one who doesn't think its just a series of bad luck for 30 years. I'm also heartbroken for his mom that his dad would put her in this position. Job turnover, no benefits, no savings, no security... And he still refuses to look go into a more secure line of work. Obviously sales isn't working.