Going through the same thing with my DH. Wouldn't say I have a particularly high sex drive but we have sex once a month to once every other month. Which I think is pathetic. DH's lack of interest actually gives me anxiety because everyone says guys always want sex and if not he's cheating. I don't think my DH is having an affair, but I really worry about the long term sustainability of a sexless marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't your husbands interested in sex?

Yeah, it's not easy to answer that. This is why there is therapy.

Well, the DCUM answer is that some how it's the MIL's fault.

Yeah, usually both men and women have family factors that lead to these type of issues. The question is, how todeal with it when you have kids and a relationship otherwise worth preserving?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't your husbands interested in sex?

Yeah, it's not easy to answer that. This is why there is therapy.

Well, the DCUM answer is that some how it's the MIL's fault.

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't your husbands interested in sex?

Let's keep this a safe space please. I would also be interested I hearing if people who have these challenges (and there are many of them, including me) have some hope that there is help.

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't your husbands interested in sex?

Yeah, it's not easy to answer that. This is why there is therapy.

As for what the therapy has done for us--we are just starting really but it is helping us to be aware of the negative signals we are sending to each other that are blocking the sex from happening. We're making progress and we we're feeling good about each other.

Why aren't your husbands interested in sex?

Anonymous wrote:OP here, cloths is for the recommendation. Could you give me an idea of what to expect in the therapy sessions? I just feel so uncomfortable and nervous about the whole thing. Also, what has changed that makes you feel the therapy is helping?

He will give you "homework" with specific non-sexual sensate exercises for you to do on yourself and on your partner, at first. He is very supportive of us--he does not take sides. He will ask you to look at each other and say at least one positive thing about your spouse. I tried doing the whole--read a book, fix this, method--did not work. You really need a therapist in the room to diffuse the tension. He has been good for us.

I would also be very interested in what happens in sex therapy, and if it can actually help.

OP here, cloths is for the recommendation. Could you give me an idea of what to expect in the therapy sessions? I just feel so uncomfortable and nervous about the whole thing. Also, what has changed that makes you feel the therapy is helping?

Wow, I'm a woman, with zero sex in my life because husband has "turned off" that side of things (his words). Kensington is not far from me - I soooo appreciate that recommendation.

Anonymous wrote:David Fishman in Kensington is very, very good. We've been seeing him for a few months. He is very good with couples where it's the woman who wants more sex.

thanks for sharing. i am in the situation as well, we went to therapy over a decade ago in another city and it helped. now, 12 years and 2 kids later, things are worse than ever and i am at my wits end.

David Fishman in Kensington is very, very good. We've been seeing him for a few months. He is very good with couples where it's the woman who wants more sex.

Have you seen this book? http://www.amazon.com/Want-Sex-Wants-Fries-Testosterone/dp/1514125242/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1457976937&sr=8-1&keywords=he+wants+fries

Has anyone done it and has it helped? Tips on what to look for and avoid? Interested in couples where the DW was the one wanting more (any!) sex. I am sort of freaking out about taking this step but not sure what other options are as I have no interest in divorce with two young kids at home.