Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why post this again? It's only been a few days since this was asked. That OP was a neurotic mess and clearly was someone most people would avoid. No idea if this is the same poster but would not be surprised. We all have some difficulties in our relationships but really if you or someone you know are estranged then it really is for the best.

It seems like there's one person looking for a particular response, because they just cannot understand why someone would want to be estranged from them.

Time to move on, OP. Sounds like the family member you're looking to hear from has done the same.

I'm the OP but haven't ever asked this before.

I don't really talk to the majority of my family anymore. There was no falling out or anything - I moved across the country and don't really go back to visit (can't afford it), and the majority of them don't come here to visit, or when they do they stay with other relatives. Sometimes I'm invited to a brunch or dinner with them, but sometimes they forget about me.

So I have a few cousins who have kids in elementary or middle school who I've either never met or only met once.

I don't really talk much to my parents. I talk to my brother about once a week, but I'm trying to pull back from him because he views everything I say in the most negative light (in terms of how he sees me) and never believes anything I say (in terms of anyone being mean to me, not that it happens often, just from one person at work I have to deal with constantly). It's just a draining relationship.

An aunt. My father saw her for the first time in a decade in relation to my grandma's funeral a few weeks ago. Prior to that they hadn't spoken in a good 10 years. I haven't seen nor spoken to her since 1999.

It's an extremely long and convoluted story but suffice it to say she is solely responsible for my grandmother's decline and ultimate death.

I read that if you're not sure whether to cut off a toxic parent, you can tell it was the right decision if they make no attempt to contact you afterwards (for years).

Anonymous wrote:Why post this again? It's only been a few days since this was asked. That OP was a neurotic mess and clearly was someone most people would avoid. No idea if this is the same poster but would not be surprised. We all have some difficulties in our relationships but really if you or someone you know are estranged then it really is for the best.

It seems like there's one person looking for a particular response, because they just cannot understand why someone would want to be estranged from them.

Time to move on, OP. Sounds like the family member you're looking to hear from has done the same.

My Sister, My Mom's brother and my DAD's entire family

Why post this again? It's only been a few days since this was asked. That OP was a neurotic mess and clearly was someone most people would avoid. No idea if this is the same poster but would not be surprised. We all have some difficulties in our relationships but really if you or someone you know are estranged then it really is for the best.

Both parents. Seven years. she's a psychopath; he's what's left of a man who lives with a psychopath for five decades.

You couldn't pay me enough to get in a room with either of them (unless they were in a casket).

Yes, several years - my father - and it was my choice. One of the best decisions I have ever made, and it has improved my life tremendously.

Some people (incl. those with severe personality disorders) will never change, and there is no future in hoping that they will change or wishing that they were different.

My mother. It will be four years in May. She told me she no longer had a daughter. She's estranged from the rest of the family as well, except one of my brothers.

She has BPD and is an alcoholic.

It's still heartbreaking.

yes, my brother. It is his doing - he cheated on his wife (and got the lady pregnant) and when I tried to tell him things were going bad on the homefront (kids especially) and that he needed to man up with wife and kids he lashed out at me, lied as a lame attempt to cover it all up and disowned me. In addition to sending me lots of nasty heart stabbing emails. In the time since(years), he is still with both women, has had more kids with the other woman and still thinks I'm the bad guy for "judging" him. We're close until this all went down. His loss.

If so, how many years has the estrangement gone on, what is your relationship with the person, and did you want the estrangement or did the other person?