Tempting: Next time they do it, say, "Hey, DH, you owe me five bucks! I told you they couldn't make it through a visit without bitching about our car! Why don't you ride with your parents?"

OP here. Switching passengers is a great idea! Thanks, all.

I wouldn't ask them to stop bringing it up as this isn't so egregious, as much as it is annoying.

The fact is that they get no vote in the matter, so I wouldn't bother explaining your reasoning to them. You could simply say "I have zero interest in a new car" and then move the conversation along. If you're consistent, hopefully they'll get tired of bringing it up.

I like the PP's idea that you ride with one IL while the other sits with the grandkids and then switch on the ride back. That will address the "time with grandkids" complaint + address the potential issue of them not feeling confident driving around your area.

Have DH respond as nicely as possible the next time they mention it that you're not getting a minivan. As suggested above, let one grandparent ride in the SUV. I disagree that a minivan uses more gas than an big SUV though.

I agree that they don't want to be stuck alone in another vehicle, and they might not like driving here.

You had your DH should each drive a vehicle, letting them have turns with the kids. And frame the second vehicle as a good thing--"this way I get the chance to visit with you, Nancy!"

Have you considered they don't truly feel comfortable navigating the traffic in this area? Could this be more of the subtext of their questions and constant nagging on the subject?

Just a thought.

Personally I would try to ignore and let it go.

Does it bother your husband?

Although I find some of your arguments as to why you don't want a minivan to be inaccurate. You might be better sticking to we don't like minivans and don't want to own one.

Well, we aren't going to buy a different car - this works for us with the sole exception of when you're visiting. But how about if you ride w/ the kids and I'll go in the other car, and on the way back G'pa can ride with them?"

Eh, I'd keep having the conversation while internally laughing or sharing a smile with DH at the predictability. Some people get stuck in conversational ruts. No big deal.

Smile and nod. Say "Not gonna happen" and change the subject. Or say "Feel free to get one yourself!" And that's it. Don't continue to justify or explain yourself.

And know that as people get older, they tend to repeat themselves. "Not gonna happen. Let's go to church!" Rinse and repeat.

I can see how annoying that would be. I would probably just say something to the effect of: "Sorry we can't all fit into one car. Do you still want to go?" You could also offer to let one of them could ride with the kids while you or DH drive their car with the other person, and then let them switch for the ride home. That way, they each get to ride one leg of the trip with the kids.

PP has a good idea.

It's no use reasoning with them - I go through similar discussions with my mother, who appears to nod and be convinced by my arguments, until next time, when she brings up EXACTLY the same complaints! I'd say she were senile, except that she's been doing that her whole life...

So try to put the lid on the discussion, and have them switch places in the passenger seat when they come.

Anonymous wrote:Next time let them, or at least one of them ride in the SUV with kids.

+1 - that's actually a pretty good compromise. Maybe your husband rides in the other car with his other parent?

When just my mom visits, I squeeze in between the kids' car seats so we can all ride together (three adults, two kids). It's not super comfortable but it works. I don't know if that's an option in your car.

Why don't you suggest they rent a mini-van for when you visit? The main drawback would be having them drive you places (unless you could get listed as a driver) but then they can put their money where their mouths are. Otherwise tell them you don't want to talk about it anymore.

Next time let them, or at least one of them ride in the SUV with kids.

Genuinely asking as I generally like my FIL and MIL, and the point of this question is to maintain our good relationship. Don't need to be told about your dead MIL and how you miss her, or reminded that I will be MIL someday. TIA.

Every time we see my ILs--every 6-8 weeks or so--they complain about our SUV. Because it's an SUV, it only fits DH and I up front, and the kids in their carseats in the back. MIL in particular insists EVERY time we see her that we get a minivan "so we can go places together as a family." We're not even out and about THAT much when they visit--we usually go to a park, maybe one restaurant, maybe church. And everything is pretty local, so we're talking a 10 minute car trip, tops, and they both know how to use navigation devices, so getting there is never a problem or the point.

She just wants "to spend more time with the kids" and FIL is always shaking his head that we are wasting gas by taking two vehicles. (And yet he doesn't see my point that it would waste MORE gas if I had to drive to work every day in a larger minivan that would consume more gas, and that getting a bigger, "gas-ier" car for the sole purpose of visitors would be overall wasteful.)

Bottom line, of course we're not getting a minivan for this purpose. No thanks, don't want to spend the money, or waste the gas, or drive something a lot clunkier just because you visit a few times a year!

So...do I just ignore this line of conversation? Respond to it with our points/decision each time? Or tell them once and for all "We are not getting a new vechicle to satisfy you, please do not bring this up again, we won't discuss it further?"

I know it's generally harmless, but it is EVERY time, and they honestly seem put out about the whole thing!