Can you get a home health aide to come help her/you? They can help with bathing, dressing, meals, doc appts, etc.

Put her in assisted living or she will drive you crazy and destroy your marriage.

You need help. If you are gone all day, who helps her? Comfort Keepers etc offers adult in home care. You can decide frequency--maybe someone to come in a few days a week, help her bathe, make lunch etc.

My mom just moved in with us so I am so still figuring it all out. Aside from all the obvious advice of making sure you make time for yourself and your spouse, I think these are the types of situations where seeing a therapist can be helpful. They can be a neutral person to whom you can say anything. And agree with getting a mothers helper or someone to help you. I would also get a security system where you can buy an emergency necklace (Front Point has one) to give you peace of mind if there is an emergency when no one is home (fire or she falls).

Op, when I was a kid, we had an uncle and then an aunt live with us. It wasn't easy on my mom, but it really gave me a sense of "doing for family". We're an immigrant family - the uncle sponsored my dad to come over, the aunt did for my mom. As a kid, it was a good thing for me to witness.

I always thought I'd care for my dad in that way, and I'm truly sad that he died suddenly a couple of years ago and it didn't work out that way. As a teenager, I cared for my mom through her chemo treatments. I think witnessing such care is beneficial. Anyway, I know I'm answering a question you didn't ask, but just wanted to share that there are benefits to your kids that you may not be aware of. I know it's hard, hopefully you'll get some good ideas from other posters.

Anonymous wrote:Without going into too much detail, my mother is currently living with us because my father died suddenly. She has major health issues and can not live alone. My father was her caregiver and after his sudden death- she moved in with us and I became the caregiver. Does anyone else have an elderly parent living with them? Any advice? I'm not sure how long I am going to be able to balance working full-time, taking care of school aged children and caring for a parent.

Does your work have elder care benefits? Check, many do.

Yes, my father moved in last Sept. He entered home based hospice last week. It is a balancing act.

Without going into too much detail, my mother is currently living with us because my father died suddenly. She has major health issues and can not live alone. My father was her caregiver and after his sudden death- she moved in with us and I became the caregiver. Does anyone else have an elderly parent living with them? Any advice? I'm not sure how long I am going to be able to balance working full-time, taking care of school aged children and caring for a parent.