Anonymous wrote:op: $100. My parents are frugal and secretive about their finances, but Mom has let a few hints go that they have quite the stash.

I'm the PP who asked. Then I'd just say thanks. Also, the PP who said better a check than a gift you can't use speaks the truth.

Anonymous wrote:I'd like my parents to stop sending me a check for my birthday. There's no way to say this politely, is there?

I am 51 an still get them from my parents (It was $100 and then near the end of my mother's life it was $500). I do a splurge activity. It isn't about being independent or able to afford it on my own. They want to do it. My mom got one from her uncle until he died. He never increased it from 1929 to 1989 (when he died), always $5 - inflation was not in his vocabulary.

op: I have a very strained relationship with them. The check feels infantilizing, if that's a word.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a nice gesture .. Not quite sure what the problem is.

I'm trying to find a problem and I don't see one either. Why is this a bad thing OP?

So sweet! Parents are the best. I mean, if you can't take a gift from your own parents, who can you take a gift from?

I pretty much only get a birthday gift from my parents and I love it. It's a humble gift but I love that they still get so excited at the thought of my birthday and getting me something.

Gosh, what a weird thing to be annoyed about. Say thank you, and donate the sum to charity if you like.

My parents always gave me the maximum gift amount allowed by law. If they wait until they die it gets taxed, as a gift no tax to a certain amount per year. It's a smart tax move.

My parents still get checks from their 90 year old parents for their birthdays.

And a check is 1000x better than a gift you don't like or can't use.

Anonymous wrote:op: $100. My parents are frugal and secretive about their finances, but Mom has let a few hints go that they have quite the stash.

I'd just say "thanks mom and dad" and move on for their sake.

You can forward it on to me and I won't tell. I'll even write a very nice thank you note in your name.

op: $100. My parents are frugal and secretive about their finances, but Mom has let a few hints go that they have quite the stash.

I think it's a nice gesture .. Not quite sure what the problem is.

Have you asked them? Are they set financially? Are the checks $1,000? $100? $10?

I hear ya, OP. I am ok with parents sending checks, but I find it weird that my DH's AUNTS and UNCLES still send him AND OUR CHILDREN checks for THEIR birthdays. I mean, come on. My DH is 45. When is it going to stop?

I'd like my parents to stop sending me a check for my birthday. There's no way to say this politely, is there?