So when you point out to DH that this dynamic is unusual, what does he say?

What are the parents like?

I think a lot of my reaction would depend on context.

As for advice, I would talk to your DH about it. Leaving aside the creepy factor, it's really not ok for the sister to treat you badly and for your husband not to back you up. I would focus on that.

Anonymous wrote:Is there a big age gap? The one family I know like this there's a very large age gap. The older brother spoiled the baby sister, and it's hard for her not to be his center of attention. It was hard for him to see her as an independently thinking grown up. The relationship is weird and definitely involved a lot of drama during her adolescence. But there's nothing inappropriate. They're just both very sensitive and dramatic about each other. It was initially hard for his wife, but she's come to accept it eventho it's occasionally annoying. She is close to her SIL.

11:48 again. I think the distance enhances this kind of drama. The language full of feeling and emotion is a substitute for not being a regular part of each other's lives and the awkwardness that results in the adjustment.

Is there a big age gap? The one family I know like this there's a very large age gap. The older brother spoiled the baby sister, and it's hard for her not to be his center of attention. It was hard for him to see her as an independently thinking grown up. The relationship is weird and definitely involved a lot of drama during her adolescence. But there's nothing inappropriate. They're just both very sensitive and dramatic about each other. It was initially hard for his wife, but she's come to accept it eventho it's occasionally annoying. She is close to her SIL.

Anonymous wrote:What was his relationship like with her when they were kids? Is she older than him? Younger? It is kind of creepy.

She's the younger sister. DH never really dated much before me. The email raised the hairs on my neck. OTOH it was an email DH forwarded to me so he didn't think it was a big deal.

What was his relationship like with her when they were kids? Is she older than him? Younger? It is kind of creepy.

Just be glad she lives in another country. Try to roll with it a little while you are still getting to know her. You want her to like you. It's the old "keep you friends close, but your enemies closer" type of thing. Not that she's an enemy, but she could be if she decides you are terrible for her precious darling most perfect brother.

Kiss her ass a little, be over the top nice, support her being creepy weird with your DH while she's here this time, make a plan for next time if it's too much.

Good luck.

You think they used to sleep together?

Not a troll but would appreciate advice on how to handle or what to do, if anything. She doesn't affect our daily lives but it's always tense when she comes up.

Bleh, that is weird.

Troll Score: 4. Points for reminding me of Flowers in the Attic.

Anonymous wrote:Are they both European? This could just be a language issue.

Nah, both American.

Where is your DH from? I'm guessing not the US or Europe.

Are they both European? This could just be a language issue.

Your married name isn't Lannister, is it?

Only been married a year but during our wedding weekend, I met the sister for the first time because she lives in another country. She cried a lot, seemed jealous of me and was nasty towards me. DH has told me she felt like i was replacing her.

FF to last week, sister is supposed to visit and Dh has sent her a flurry of emails that start out as "Dear lovely sister..." and signed "your loving brother". His emails to me are never as sweet and he's never called me his lovely wife.

All of this is creeping me out. I even asked DH if he's ever had an inappropriate relationship with her (he says no). I'm just so glad she lives in Europe. She's married but doesn't spend much time with her husband because they both travel for work, no kids, and she's told me she's had extramarital affairs.

Such a train wreck.