OP here. Thanks for all the advice, everyone! He moved out a year ago and the mortgage is fairly high, so that 1/2 of that is over $10k and potentially worth going to court over. If I could win it....

Similarly, $1,500 in child support for the past 6 months, plus something less for the first 6 months when DS was tentatively trying to live with him, is also potentially worth over $10k. Again, if I could win it....

The pension thing.... Yes, he has one, but he wants to retire at 56, which means a huge cut to his monthly pension amount. He wants a pension-sharing arrangement where I give him 1/2 of my much larger pension because I'm planning to continue working. So I said no, I'm not going to finance your early retirement. We're at an impasse here.

So that's why I'm here! My lawyers can't offer certainty in the child support, mortgage, and pension issues if we go to court. I realize certainty doesn't exist! But I'm interested in others' experiences.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. There are other reasons to go to court. He's insisting on 1/2 of the house sale proceeds but hasn't contributed a penny to the mortgage since he moved out. Also he wants 1/2 of my pension because he plans to retire at 56. So we're deadlocked.

so he moved out 6 months ago... that fractional portion of the house expense should not significantly impact his share of the house proceeds. You are arguing to argue over that.

With regards to the issue of the pension... how long were your married? You do know that he is entitled to half off all the marital assets. That includes retirement assets. Why do you begrudge him is equal share?

Depends on how long they have been married, but typically they'll divide it from the date of marriage till the divorce date. OP does he have a pension?

Exactly... he contributed to the home over the entire ownership period except for maybe the last 6 months. 6 months of mortgage payments and associated expenses isn't going to ding his 50% portion (or increase hers) to any great extent. I would expect this to be marginal at best.

Except the court can make him pay her more since she had to pay everything 100%, home and for child.

The divorce and support will be under one case, but you need to talk to your lawyer and put it all through. He needs to protect your interests, and yes your ex should have to pay his portion from the time he left. Are you helping with college, you might be able to make him pay a portion. Doesn't hurt to try.

You'll never get to trial before DS is 18, so you'd better file quickly if you want retroactive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. There are other reasons to go to court. He's insisting on 1/2 of the house sale proceeds but hasn't contributed a penny to the mortgage since he moved out. Also he wants 1/2 of my pension because he plans to retire at 56. So we're deadlocked.

Doesn't matter who contributed to the mortgage if his name is on the deed. He will get 1/2 of the proceeds, both of your pensions will be divided. If you're still going through the divorce all this will all be decided, but if there's back child support the judge will decide how much will be used in the calculations.

I wouldn't discuss anything with your ex, go through you lawyer and be done with it and ex.

That's a great way to run up unnecessary legal fees. Your attorney should be able to give you a range of possible outcomes. Consider those outcomes against what he is offering and negotiate as necessary weighing in the potential legal fees that both of you may have to pay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. There are other reasons to go to court. He's insisting on 1/2 of the house sale proceeds but hasn't contributed a penny to the mortgage since he moved out. Also he wants 1/2 of my pension because he plans to retire at 56. So we're deadlocked.

so he moved out 6 months ago... that fractional portion of the house expense should not significantly impact his share of the house proceeds. You are arguing to argue over that.

With regards to the issue of the pension... how long were your married? You do know that he is entitled to half off all the marital assets. That includes retirement assets. Why do you begrudge him is equal share?

Depends on how long they have been married, but typically they'll divide it from the date of marriage till the divorce date. OP does he have a pension?

Exactly... he contributed to the home over the entire ownership period except for maybe the last 6 months. 6 months of mortgage payments and associated expenses isn't going to ding his 50% portion (or increase hers) to any great extent. I would expect this to be marginal at best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. There are other reasons to go to court. He's insisting on 1/2 of the house sale proceeds but hasn't contributed a penny to the mortgage since he moved out. Also he wants 1/2 of my pension because he plans to retire at 56. So we're deadlocked.

so he moved out 6 months ago... that fractional portion of the house expense should not significantly impact his share of the house proceeds. You are arguing to argue over that.

With regards to the issue of the pension... how long were your married? You do know that he is entitled to half off all the marital assets. That includes retirement assets. Why do you begrudge him is equal share?

Depends on how long they have been married, but typically they'll divide it from the date of marriage till the divorce date. OP does he have a pension?

Anonymous wrote:OP. There are other reasons to go to court. He's insisting on 1/2 of the house sale proceeds but hasn't contributed a penny to the mortgage since he moved out. Also he wants 1/2 of my pension because he plans to retire at 56. So we're deadlocked.

Maryland is a 50/50 state and that includes marital home and marital assets, including 401k. If he has a 401k, you can claim half of it.

Anonymous wrote:OP. There are other reasons to go to court. He's insisting on 1/2 of the house sale proceeds but hasn't contributed a penny to the mortgage since he moved out. Also he wants 1/2 of my pension because he plans to retire at 56. So we're deadlocked.

Doesn't matter who contributed to the mortgage if his name is on the deed. He will get 1/2 of the proceeds, both of your pensions will be divided. If you're still going through the divorce all this will all be decided, but if there's back child support the judge will decide how much will be used in the calculations.

I wouldn't discuss anything with your ex, go through you lawyer and be done with it and ex.

Its called Pendente lite and unless you already filed for divorce, there is a small chance you will be able to get back CS.

Anonymous wrote:OP. There are other reasons to go to court. He's insisting on 1/2 of the house sale proceeds but hasn't contributed a penny to the mortgage since he moved out. Also he wants 1/2 of my pension because he plans to retire at 56. So we're deadlocked.

so he moved out 6 months ago... that fractional portion of the house expense should not significantly impact his share of the house proceeds. You are arguing to argue over that.

With regards to the issue of the pension... how long were your married? You do know that he is entitled to half off all the marital assets. That includes retirement assets. Why do you begrudge him is equal share?

OP. There are other reasons to go to court. He's insisting on 1/2 of the house sale proceeds but hasn't contributed a penny to the mortgage since he moved out. Also he wants 1/2 of my pension because he plans to retire at 56. So we're deadlocked.

Thanks! According to the state child support guidelines, almost-XH owes me $1,500 a month given his income and low expenses. 3-4 months of this might change the calculation about whether it's worth going to court and trying for more. Obviously I'm talking to my lawyer about this, but I'm interested in others' experiences.

I would file the papers yourself. Document your expenses, try to get it as far back as you can. I read it ultimately is up to the judge in MD.

You're ex sounds like a loser.

Most child support goes retroactive from the date of filing. So, you aren't going to get six months back in less you can get the judge to agree, but if you file today, you will get it. You have to look at the cost/benefit. If you only have 3-4 months left, in less you represent yourself, you are going to spend a fortune in attorney fees. You will not get a court hearing for a month or two. I would go to the child support office and file.

Has anybody else been awarded retroactive child support in Maryland? DS turns 18 this summer, so all child support would end then. DS has been living 100% of the time with me (by DS' choice, since he's old enough to make the choice himself). Over the past six months soon-to-be-XH (XDH?), who earns $150k a year, has given me a total of...wait for it...$50.00. DH's lawyer has encouraged a ton of delaying tactics to draw out the negotiations, but we're considering filing for a court hearing. I'd be interested in others' experiences. Thank you!