I remember my 4 th grader sitting on the floor with a bunch of rejection letters..and he took them at their word...many qualified applicants and just no space. It broke my heart. He said, I understand they just have no space....He believed what they said hook line and sinker! He is in High School now, at a school that previously wait listed him. He is Honor Roll and Varsity Athelete...he has won awards... What kept him out initially,his average testing ability...I think hard work can not be measured by the test. My thought is ,their loss...the others missed out on a great kid. Fortunately, he is seen for who he is, where he is and it has been great! No kid a finished product and beware of the school that wants that....because what you will often find inside is lazy teachers or a lot and I mean a lot of tutoring at home...or tiger parents, that set the pace...

Anonymous wrote:My kid got into a couple of great places but not her top choice. My message:

- I hate seeing you so sad and disappointed: it makes me sad.

- Remember, it is not personal. It's often somewhat random, and linked to gender balance, talent and personality balance within a class, other diversity considerations, etc.

- You can reapply next year if you still really want to...

- But other schools are great too, and you will find good things in any school if you are open to it.

- And even though you feel sad right now, remember that you won't feel sad forever.

- You're awesome and I love you. School X has no idea what they're missing by not begging you to come!

great comments!

Anonymous wrote:My kid got into a couple of great places but not her top choice. My message:

- I hate seeing you so sad and disappointed: it makes me sad.

- Remember, it is not personal. It's often somewhat random, and linked to gender balance, talent and personality balance within a class, other diversity considerations, etc.

- You can reapply next year if you still really want to...

- But other schools are great too, and you will find good things in any school if you are open to it.

- And even though you feel sad right now, remember that you won't feel sad forever.

- You're awesome and I love you. School X has no idea what they're missing by not begging you to come!

I'm tweaking this and giving this to DC to read to me on the hour. DC got into their first choice and was WL my first choice

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:13:48 -- How old was your child? Was this for MS? I'm doing the same right now... researching the public school option more and trying to get jazzed about it. My concern is that he'll speak to friends at school and know that they heard back... so I don't think I have the luxury to wait.

Yes, it was for middle school but he didn't really have friends applying to private school to discuss it with so he didn't know when we would hear. We have a good public option but because of the type of kid he is I was pessimistic on how it would be for him.

This is EXACTLY our position! Deal MS as public, which I consistently hear good things about. He's the type of kid ASKING for more of a challenge. Worried Deal is too large and won't be the best fit.

I hope it works out for you too. There is a lot to be said for large schools. He has managed to find all sorts of kids just like him...tons of clubs and unique opportunities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:13:48 -- How old was your child? Was this for MS? I'm doing the same right now... researching the public school option more and trying to get jazzed about it. My concern is that he'll speak to friends at school and know that they heard back... so I don't think I have the luxury to wait.

Yes, it was for middle school but he didn't really have friends applying to private school to discuss it with so he didn't know when we would hear. We have a good public option but because of the type of kid he is I was pessimistic on how it would be for him.

This is EXACTLY our position! Deal MS as public, which I consistently hear good things about. He's the type of kid ASKING for more of a challenge. Worried Deal is too large and won't be the best fit.

Anonymous wrote:13:48 -- How old was your child? Was this for MS? I'm doing the same right now... researching the public school option more and trying to get jazzed about it. My concern is that he'll speak to friends at school and know that they heard back... so I don't think I have the luxury to wait.

Yes, it was for middle school but he didn't really have friends applying to private school to discuss it with so he didn't know when we would hear. We have a good public option but because of the type of kid he is I was pessimistic on how it would be for him.

Yeah, that can be a problem. DD's class has been buzzing for days about where they will all be going next year (it is the "graduating" year for their school).

13:48 -- How old was your child? Was this for MS? I'm doing the same right now... researching the public school option more and trying to get jazzed about it. My concern is that he'll speak to friends at school and know that they heard back... so I don't think I have the luxury to wait.

Two years ago my son didn't get into any school. I cried because I thought it was best for him to go to one of those schools. I waited a week until I was no longer upset. I also researched our public school more, what resources he'd be getting there, etc. I told him when I could be excited about the public school for him (I faked it a little but made sure I was ok when I told him.) He felt I was ok with it and that I believed it would be fine so he jumped onboard. Side note, he is thriving in public school, I was completely wrong. It will work out (keep repeating that). Good luck!

Good stuff, thank you.

We'd been managing DC expectation the past two weeks in preparation for the big announcement date. He knows sometime school needs different kind of kids to make one interesting class and is in no way a reflection of him.

But luckily DC got into his top choice school so all good!

My kid got into a couple of great places but not her top choice. My message:

- I hate seeing you so sad and disappointed: it makes me sad.

- Remember, it is not personal. It's often somewhat random, and linked to gender balance, talent and personality balance within a class, other diversity considerations, etc.

- You can reapply next year if you still really want to...

- But other schools are great too, and you will find good things in any school if you are open to it.

- And even though you feel sad right now, remember that you won't feel sad forever.

- You're awesome and I love you. School X has no idea what they're missing by not begging you to come!

I agree. My DC didn't get into their first choice, but still liked their second choice. For as disappointed as I was, I made absolutely sure to talk about how GREAT the second choice is and that they know deep down they will be deeply happy there.

I appreciate your comment. I haven't told my DD yet and plan to wait until I process my own disappointment. Thank you for reminding me that this process was not about me.

Please be careful how you handle it as the parent. I know an adult who was scarred for life because her mother went crazy when she did not get into the first choice private school. I am not in this game, I have a 2 year old, but seeing some of the titles of threads reminded me of my friend. If her mother was ok with it she would have been ok with it too. I'm sure it's easier said than done.