You resent your parents because you find your own everyday life hard to cope with? You think your mom should spend her time and resources raising your kids? She already did a poor job raising you, do you want your kids to resent you when you retire and take a vacation or spend money on yourself?

Anonymous wrote:My parents just got back from a three-week trip to (leaving out details just in case). Meanwhile, my DH and I are in the weeds - have been for years -- with two young kids, two careers, a few SNs thrown in there with 1-2 of the kids, watching our pennies, etc. Nothing crazy, but you know, like how a lot of young busy families are around here. I am so exhausted I just feel like I can not muster up excitement to hear all that my mom will want to chatter on to me about with her trip. Do I just have to suck it up and do it anyway? Help?

Nope, you don't. Sounds like you have bigger problems to deal with

If your life is that bad change it. Yes jealously is horrible. I would think you would want to know what your parents did when you didn't see them for so long. Sad.

OP... you don't have time or is it the inclination to hear someone else's excitement? You're that bogged down in your own life?

That's just sad?

Now if it was my MIL I could understand it, or if your mom is similar. It wouldn't be a quick call. An hour wouldn't cut it. I like the idea of telling her I've got X amount of time and would love to hear about it.

My parents are dead. So there's that.

OP don't blame your parents if you made bad choices. If you can;t afford two kids, that was your choice so live with it. its not your parents job to support your poor decision making as an adult.

Anonymous wrote:My parents just got back from a three-week trip to (leaving out details just in case). Meanwhile, my DH and I are in the weeds - have been for years -- with two young kids, two careers, a few SNs thrown in there with 1-2 of the kids, watching our pennies, etc. Nothing crazy, but you know, like how a lot of young busy families are around here. I am so exhausted I just feel like I can not muster up excitement to hear all that my mom will want to chatter on to me about with her trip. Do I just have to suck it up and do it anyway? Help?

Do they listen to your news (good or bad), do they help out with the kids from time to time, remember their birthdays and so on? If so, then yes, of course! If they show little interest in your life, then no. It should always be, roughly, commensurate imo. But, OP, I can relate. My parents retired early, in their 50s, and so have been on vacation for the last 20 years. It can be annoying to listen to my mother complain about how "stressed" she is about planning their latest luxury vacation, but I try to take it in stride.

OP, I have no advice, but I totally get where you're coming from. I'm running into the same feeling when hearing about allllll the deets on trips from parents and friends w/o kids. It's not that I'm even envious of their trips, I certainly don't begrudge them their pleasure and am happy that they are getting the chance to get out and do all these cool things. But the extremely detailed recounting of the trips gets old very fast. It's like - I don't tell you every miniscule detail of my day (however exciting or dull). I don't need to hear all the dirty details of your trip. Just give me the highlights - 5 minutes tops!

Set aside ten or fifteen minutes to listen to her and plan something nice for yourself afterwards. Tell her the time limit at the start "Mom, I only have 15 minutes, but want to hear all about your trip to Bangkok. Go!"

OP - I feel the same way about MIL. She regales us at dinner about all here trips here and there. She's not my DH's bio mom (she died). MIL got all the money. We're struggling to keep afloat plus facing college expenses. Frankly it hurts but we just put up with it. I don't think she has a clue how irritating it can be to listen to he adventures and travel. So I understand where you are coming from.

Is it going to be a phone call or are they showing up in person to show you the pictures? If she's calling to discuss it, when you pick up the phone sound a little out of breath and clank on some dishes or have the washing machine on the in background and before she starts in tell her about your crazy day with meetings at work and how you were late picking up the kids and now you're all exhausted but you have to get dinner on the table, but that can't wait to hear about the trip another time. If it's in-person, tell her how you are booked up for the next five weeks but would love to get together after that. Either way, when you do finally talk she'll have gotten some of the post-trip excitement out of her system and maybe, just maybe, she'll realize how things are for you.

jealousy is such and ugly thing especially when it's about your parents. They owe you nothing. Get some scissors for those weeds. The exercise will help you forget your jealousy.

They did their time. Be glad they don't need your help!

I just wasted 15 seconds of my life listening to you whine.

Yes, suck it up.

My parents just got back from a three-week trip to (leaving out details just in case). Meanwhile, my DH and I are in the weeds - have been for years -- with two young kids, two careers, a few SNs thrown in there with 1-2 of the kids, watching our pennies, etc. Nothing crazy, but you know, like how a lot of young busy families are around here. I am so exhausted I just feel like I can not muster up excitement to hear all that my mom will want to chatter on to me about with her trip. Do I just have to suck it up and do it anyway? Help?