Anonymous wrote:My mom is visiting and has an elaborate meal planned as usual. I'm sick and I really just want carry-out, get the kids to bed, and sleep. I know I should be grateful to have someone spearheading dinner, but I desperately don't want to chop anything, wash pots and pans, etc. She's an amazing cook, makes everything from scratch, no corners cut, but after a long day at work, I just don't want lots of cooking and cleanup. If I mention that I'd rather make a more involved recipe on a weekend, she says "why, it's so easy."

Set it up for her to cook X nights when she visits. PLan it out when you are getting carry out and when she is cooking. On the nights when she does cook, have the kids help her chop and wash pans- under her supervision so they can have more time with grandma and learn how to cook her delicious meals.

OP, can your mom cook earlier in the day so that you just need to warm up the food? It makes things easy.

Anonymous wrote:My mom is visiting and has an elaborate meal planned as usual. I'm sick and I really just want carry-out, get the kids to bed, and sleep. I know I should be grateful to have someone spearheading dinner, but I desperately don't want to chop anything, wash pots and pans, etc. She's an amazing cook, makes everything from scratch, no corners cut, but after a long day at work, I just don't want lots of cooking and cleanup. If I mention that I'd rather make a more involved recipe on a weekend, she says "why, it's so easy."

I get it. I've been there. Take the pp advice and wine, wine, wine.

Sit down with her and make a plan for the rest of the visit. Just tell her how you feel!

She should cook for the family and tell you to rest. You are making me feel so grateful, my mother would never expect me to help prepare the dinner after work.

Just tell her, Mom I bring home the bacon but I can't fry it up in a pan... at least not tonight. I'm going to go bath the kids and chill.

OP here. Lol! I'd be all about the wine, wine, wine if I wasn't feeling lousy. Just needed to vent. She's a great mom and I'm lucky to have her.

If she's the only cooking and cleaning, I don't see what the problem is.

If she expects you to cook and/or clean while you are feeling under the weather, that's not quite fair. Tell her how you feel. She can cook and you can leave everything in the sink to do tomorrow morning. Or your husband can clean, or somebody else. But not you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wine, wine, wine. Poor, poor you. Shut up and help your mother, who is being nice and cooking dinner. This is her gift to you and you are being an ungrateful and ungracious host.

Fixed that for you.

I know the difference and I meant WHINE, WHINE, WHINE.

PP was trying, and succeeding, at being funny. You, on the other hand, are insufferable.

Go to bed and let her cook and clean. Stop being the martyr.

She plans out the meals but depends on you to be sous chef & clean up crew? You definitely are within reason to say something. Maybe "hey Mom, you know I love your cooking and look forward to it every time you visit, but Monday nights are just really tight for us as family. We only have XX minutes to cook and get dinner on the table before we need to get the bedtime routine started in order for the kids to be in bed on time. Then after that, DH & I only have YY time together before we need to hit the hay to be well-rest for work so we can only really manage meals that can be quickly made & quickly cleaned up on Mondays. I hope I don't sound like a Debbie Downer, but let's plan for that lovely lamb roast on night when we can all enjoy it properly - how's Friday for you?"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wine, wine, wine. Poor, poor you. Shut up and help your mother, who is being nice and cooking dinner. This is her gift to you and you are being an ungrateful and ungracious host.

Fixed that for you.

I know the difference and I meant WHINE, WHINE, WHINE.

Anonymous wrote:Wine, wine, wine. Poor, poor you. Shut up and help your mother, who is being nice and cooking dinner. This is her gift to you and you are being an ungrateful and ungracious host.

Fixed that for you.

Just tell her.

Whine, whine, whine. Poor, poor you. Shut up and help your mother, who is being nice and cooking dinner. This is her gift to you and you are being an ungrateful and ungracious host.

My mom is visiting and has an elaborate meal planned as usual. I'm sick and I really just want carry-out, get the kids to bed, and sleep. I know I should be grateful to have someone spearheading dinner, but I desperately don't want to chop anything, wash pots and pans, etc. She's an amazing cook, makes everything from scratch, no corners cut, but after a long day at work, I just don't want lots of cooking and cleanup. If I mention that I'd rather make a more involved recipe on a weekend, she says "why, it's so easy."