I kind of think that if I hadn't met my wife when I did a decade ago, I would still be single and be just like that guy. I'm extremely glad I met her when I did, but if I hadn't I'd still be open to meeting someone.

Anonymous wrote:My husband was 42 when we met. Same story, he had not met the right girl. It was a little harder for us to mesh our lives, because he was pretty set in his ways, but we did and are very happy ten years later.

This is it. And consider that an age difference means you'll see him through old age, and to death before any of your friends who marry younger people.

Don't hope that you'll be the "one" he decides to marry. Chances are he won't marry you.

Anonymous wrote:My husband was 42 when we met. Same story, he had not met the right girl. It was a little harder for us to mesh our lives, because he was pretty set in his ways, but we did and are very happy ten years later.

This is me too, minus the 10 years married. A little harder to mesh our lives bc we are both set in our ways. Hopefully we will reach the 10 year mark, 20, etc.!

He sounds amazing, go for it! And don't seek out red flags, just go for it!

Anonymous wrote:Fear of commitment or he is short, fat, bald, ugly. Maybe all of those.

That's an ugly and angry comment to make.

My husband was 42 when we met. Same story, he had not met the right girl. It was a little harder for us to mesh our lives, because he was pretty set in his ways, but we did and are very happy ten years later.

I know a kind, thoughtful, moral guy who is almost 50 and never married. He has had two long term relationships with women who were not good enough for him (my opinion). The only thing "wrong" with this guy is he lacks self esteem in relationships and is a little nerdy.

I met DH when he was 39, in the same situation.
Had I not met him, he would still be in that situation!

Don't be afraid. Just get to know him slowly.

Maybe he never found the right girl.

Maybe he's been career focused, or truly hasn't found the right girl. Sometimes guys have an epiphany about relationships mid-life. But I would tread cautiously nonetheless, since it is a red flag.

Why are you fishing for things to dislike about him from random strangers who have never met him?

It reminds me of the argument about nanny cams: if you distrust your nanny that much, you already know you have the wrong nanny. If you are looking for reasons not to date this guy, why do you need any more information than that do decide to end it?

Anonymous wrote:Fear of commitment or he is short, fat, bald, ugly. Maybe all of those.

He's 5'8", not fat, not bald, not ugly. He's in GREAT shape. He's awesome in bed and will try anything. He's romantic, thoughtful, hot for me. He has said that he wants to get married and have a child but hasn't found "the one".

Fear of commitment or he is short, fat, bald, ugly. Maybe all of those.

Said that he has never found the right girl. He's a great guy, has an awesome job. Makes good money. Has a great family. He should have been taken years ago. What am I missing?