Anonymous wrote:Was it from your side of the family, or was the drama from the future in-laws side? What was conflict?

Family always seem to be overly involved with wedding planning even when the parents are not helping with the expenses.

Yeah, no. You pay, you make the rules, OP.

We had an issue with a parent dying, and a parent from the other side being selfish and demanding. Eff that. You do what you want, send the invites, and tell people they can show up happy or stay home.

My mom. She wanted to do it all the way SHE wanted. It was a small, low-key backyard wedding, but damn if she didn't corral it all to her tastes.

2nd wedding, I eloped & had a fabulous time.

ILs. Mainly my MIL but my SIL wore white to the late fall wedding. They were awful to deal with.

My FIL agreed to host/pay for the rehearsal dinner. He wanted to have it at a pizza place and invite ONLY the wedding party, not even spouses of wedding party or parents of ring bearer and flower girl. It was beyond ridiculous. We said, "Thanks, but no thanks" and paid for it ourselves. Oh, and money was NO object. He has/had TONS of money to burn, just a scrooge. Also, this reminds me that the first thing he said to my husband when he told him we were engaged was that he should get a prenup and he'd pay for it. THAT was hilarious considering I had more money and assets than future husband.

Anonymous wrote:My family and ILs were too worried that we'd elope if there were any drama so they STFU.

I'm the 19:12 PP and I think this is actually why we had such minimal drama. Our 30 person wedding was actually a compromise for us since we were originally just planning on eloping so no one pushed us too hard for anything.

My family and ILs were too worried that we'd elope if there were any drama so they STFU.

My mom and sister acted like psychos at my wedding. I wish I had eloped.

We actually had NO drama. My MIL has some strong feelings about weird stuff, so I don't know how it happened, but I won't question it.

Drama was entirely due to DH and his stubborn-ness. I nearly called off the wedding.

Drama was from my mom although overall, we had pretty minimal drama compared to some of the stories I've heard from others.

We were having a tiny (<30 people) wedding and I wanted to minimize any extras. I figured food, drink, and a nice location were enough but my mom wanted to make it a bit more special I guess. She told my niece she would be my bridesmaid which was fine but I felt bad because I didn't know until 4 days before the wedding so I hadn't done anything special for my niece (no dress, gift, etc). I also got a call 5 days before the wedding from a local florist I'd never heard of before letting me know my mom had hired her and asking what my colors were, what kinds of flowers I liked, etc. I hadn't even thought about flowers and had no idea what to say so I begged her to just do what she thought was best. There was some other stuff but I've forgotten at this point. Thankfully, it was all last minute stuff in the week leading up to the wedding so, while stressful, it was over quickly and she was just trying to be helpful. I consider myself lucky and it makes me smile remembering how stressed it made me at the time when, in the end, it all turned out fine.

Inlaws. FIL was widowed and remarried less than a year before we got married. His wife INSISTED that all of her extended family be sent invitations--she assured us that they wouldn't come but needed to be invited.

My ILs bypassed the whole wedding drama scenario by planning their own reception for us a few months later.
It was theoretically for the older relatives who couldn't travel to our out-of-the-area wedding, but really it was the (traditional Saturday night dinner/dancing) reception they thought we should have had, complete with inviting all their friends (whom I had never met, and whom DH knew only slightly) and all the things we purposely avoided at our wedding (announcing us as we entered, first dance, cake cutting song, etc)

Drama from the inlaws. It's customary in my family to have a more formal, adult reception and young children are not invited.
Dh's sister had a child that would be about 14 months at the time and threw a fit that he wasn't invited. Dh's mom told Dh that we should just do whatever SIL wanted because "she's the richest person you know" (actually not true--but why would that matter? Bizarre!)

Several months after our wedding, Dh's brother got married, and had children at the reception. Sister in laws son ran around the dance floor screaming and yelling while the bride's brothers tried to make a speech. No one could hear them because of his shrieking. Sister law sat and giggled and said "Isn't he so precious?" Mother in law got upset and even said to me "You had the right idea not including children."

My father's wife (not my mother) wanted it to be a huge, froofy affair. She gave me a list of people to invite. When I asked who they were, she said friends of her parents. I'd only met her parents twice.

She wanted me to fly to NYC to shop for a dress at Kleinfeld's. I wanted to find an already made dress and just get it tailored. She wanted to spend tons and make every aspect extravagant. She wanted 400 people at the wedding.

Yeah, we finally let my future MIL intervene. I don't know how she did it, but we had a 75 person wedding on the water in New England, super low key, no limos, and my father's wife kept her mouth shut the entire weekend. I will be forever grateful.

Was it from your side of the family, or was the drama from the future in-laws side? What was conflict?

Family always seem to be overly involved with wedding planning even when the parents are not helping with the expenses.