Yes, my mother does this. ALL THE TIME. To both my brother and I and about all four grandkids. I either ignore her or call her out on it. She still does it. I mostly just ignore her now.

Then again, my mother is the type to second guess everything that anyone does that doesn't coincide with exactly the way she would have handled things. My father is a saint for putting up with her. I would go insane if I had to live with her as an adult.

Nope. Mine don't. In fact, my mom makes a conscious effort not to give advice on everything, because she knows that a lot of it is just different ways to do things. As a result, when she does give advice, I tend to listen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom just says, "It's up to you," in that annoying guilt-trippy way that she did when we disagreed on a shirt I wanted to buy in 8th grade.

Don't worry, I know I need therapy.

Practice a cheerful, "Yes, it is!" and move along.

My mom does it too, and while I can be always successfully guilt-tripped, my much-younger brother uses the approach mentioned above and ends up being much happier.

Anonymous wrote:This is your first kid, right? Just practice the following responses:

"That's a great idea!"

"We're thinking about it."

"That's interesting."

"Thanks for the suggestion."

"We'll have to run that by the pediatrician."

This sums it up.

Anonymous wrote:My mom just says, "It's up to you," in that annoying guilt-trippy way that she did when we disagreed on a shirt I wanted to buy in 8th grade.

Don't worry, I know I need therapy.

Practice a cheerful, "Yes, it is!" and move along.

Anonymous wrote:My mom just says, "It's up to you," in that annoying guilt-trippy way that she did when we disagreed on a shirt I wanted to buy in 8th grade.

Don't worry, I know I need therapy.

Sounds like she is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't.

My mom just says, "It's up to you," in that annoying guilt-trippy way that she did when we disagreed on a shirt I wanted to buy in 8th grade.

Don't worry, I know I need therapy.

My parents do it if approach them for advice, but MIL just throws commands at me without any prompting. I've been married for 10 years and still don't know how to deal with such behavior.

Yes, my parents and inlaws do this.

My parents do this. I remember to be grateful that I have parents who care about my kids.

It is not just your parents.

No. Firstly, stop telling them when she has a cold.

If my in laws find out one of the kids are sick they are sent soup and a coloring book. If they start a new school, they are sent money for me to get them a new outfit for the first day.

Tell your parents less.

Anonymous wrote:This is your first kid, right? Just practice the following responses:

"That's a great idea!"

"We're thinking about it."

"That's interesting."

"Thanks for the suggestion."

"We'll have to run that by the pediatrician."

. Great advice!

This is your first kid, right? Just practice the following responses:

"That's a great idea!"

"We're thinking about it."

"That's interesting."

"Thanks for the suggestion."

"We'll have to run that by the pediatrician."

Are all grandparents telling you (parents) what do do about the kids' education, health care etc. Or is that just our parents?

Example: grandparent insists the child is very ill when she has a cold and wants us to go to the doctor and check for all sorts of possible ailments, even though we reassure that we know her and she is fine.

Or, grandparent insists the child apply for their second citizenship (which one of the parents has) because it will help them later in life. (we agree here, but it doesn't need to be done right at this moment, since kids are young and the process requires time which we just don't have at this very moment).


Is this normal grandparent/parent dynamic?

I am not necessarily annoyed that they are concerned, I know it's coming from a good place. But I am irritated because I feel that maybe there is an undertone of "we're still your parents, we know better, " even though it's not quite presented that way.

It's ok if you think I am overreacting too.