Get over it already. You don't like her, your daughter thinks she is awesome. Chill out.

Your daughter is 16, not 6. Let her enjoy the bag and I don't see why you'd bother being angry over this. This is not a big deal.

And while you described your wife as "VERY Type A" it sounds like that description also fits you.

It's a gift. Your daughter loves it. Don't make this A Thing.

You may well have discussed this with SIL, but maybe it was just chit chat and she honestly forgot. Or maybe she considers a $1,800 LV to be a Coach/Kate Spade-level bag. Chanel, Lanvin, Fendi, etc., can run wayyyyyyyy more than that.

It's very telling how much extraneous, unnecessary detail you wrote about your SIL here. How funny that her biggest sin is that she's "the opposite" of you!

Let it go.

Someone will steal the bag so problem will be solved.

Instead of looking at this in terms of $ spent, you need to enforce the dangers of a kid walking around with an expensive bag. Some crazy person could kill her for it, rob her because of it, target your family thinking you have money because your daughter has a designer bag.

It's wrong on so many levels.

Anonymous wrote:Graciously accept the gift. They can afford it, and it is consistent with their lifestyle, but not yours - and your DD knows this. Accepting the gift doesn't mean you are changing your own family's values or choices - and your DD understands that too. She's 16, and has grown up in your household, not yours.

You can act shocked and even let your DD know that you don't approve at all, that you think it's crazy, and talk about why. But at the same time acknowledge SIL's generosity.

Make sure your DD understands how to care for it properly and treat it well. And make sure she thanks them profusely.

But don't fume - they make different choices than you, that's all. And FWIW, I am like you and would never in a million years make such a purchase. My own bag is $30. My kids understand this about me, and it's how we live as a family, so I wouldn't make a big deal if my DD got an extravagant gift for a special occasion.

Your DD is being raised by you, not your SIL.

Meant that your DD is being raised in your household, not hers.

Have your daughter write her aunt a thank you note - and let her carry the bag. Have her look up how to take care of it. The bag will last for years. You can't control other people.

Borrow it from her every now and then.
Seriously, I'd be pissed and I'd let her keep the bag. I'd tell my brother how I feel and ask him not to let something like this happen again.

Graciously accept the gift. They can afford it, and it is consistent with their lifestyle, but not yours - and your DD knows this. Accepting the gift doesn't mean you are changing your own family's values or choices - and your DD understands that too. She's 16, and has grown up in your household, not yours.

You can act shocked and even let your DD know that you don't approve at all, that you think it's crazy, and talk about why. But at the same time acknowledge SIL's generosity.

Make sure your DD understands how to care for it properly and treat it well. And make sure she thanks them profusely.

But don't fume - they make different choices than you, that's all. And FWIW, I am like you and would never in a million years make such a purchase. My own bag is $30. My kids understand this about me, and it's how we live as a family, so I wouldn't make a big deal if my DD got an extravagant gift for a special occasion.

Your DD is being raised by you, not your SIL.

I don't see what the issue is. It would not be my choice and I wouldn't allow it to go to school, but I'd have no issue with it on weekends or evenings, especially with me. Send a nice thank you not and have her call to thank her. You are overthinking a gift.

It's clear you don't like her, and annoying she bought something you wouldn't have chosen, but the bottom line is your daughter likes it, right? I would have your DD send her a lovely note.

For you, you could tell your SIL (or better yet, discuss with your bro) that you dislike the present - but what justification would you give? You don't like them so your DD shouldn't have one? You think it's too extravagant? It might get stolen? She might lose it?

Don't mean to be snarky but isn't this the wonder of presents - that sometimes we get things that we would never buy ourselves?

As someone who agrees with you on the handbag thing. I just don't see the point of it all. (I have one at a time and they usually last me 10-15 years). Let it go. Let your DD indulge a bit.

Nothing. It's between your daughter and her aunt. It's not like it's something that might hurt her, like a car.

Do nothing. I am not into $$$ bags either and could afford one if I wanted. I think it's ridiculous BUT I understand others are different from me and if my DD was into that I would let it go. My DD is only 12 so not yet an issue. The only real problem I see is your SIL knowingly countermanding your wishes. I would NOT punish DD for this by taking the bag away though. That will make DD feel "in league" with SIL. I say just mov past it, try to let it go, let DD keep bag and say nothing to SIL. This is not the issue to fall on your sword for and alienate DD over. With SIL I would just shrug, shake my head and say whatever.

You sound like a control freak. It wasn't the nicest thing for her to do but it's also not the slap in the face you're reading it as.

My brother (4 years older than me) who is a very successful surgeon who lives on west coast divorced 6 years ago and remarried 2 years ago. I didn't like his wife from the start. She is the opposite of me. VERY type A, super driven,rather hard looking but has moments of attractiveness, super fit (a runner), ambitious to a fault, did not have kids but became a stepmother to my brothers 2 girls. She takes very good care of herself and likes only the best thankfully my B can afford this. To her credit, she is a success in her own right and came with her own hefty bank account.

We are comfortable (my husband is an attorney) I stay at home but do some freelance work from home. My D is 16 and way more fashion forward than I. I am rather simple, as I favor athletic gear on a day to day basis, I am very active and not a super girly girl type mom. Brothers wife is so my D is in awe. My D recently had a sweet 16, we threw her a party, we of course invited my B and his wife and kids but they couldn't come. Now my entire family knows I am dead set against my D having a very expensive bag. I don't mind Coach or Kate Spade, something a few hundred dollars is OK but not a few thousand just on principle alone. I don't buy myself those kinds of bags! My H agrees.

4 days ago we get a huge box delivered from Louis Vuitton. It is a beautiful LV tote for my D from guess who........? Yes my brothers wife, of course it is signed all of them. Looked it up and this bag is around $1800!!! My D was ecstatic and went nuts and I needed a drink to calm myself down. She did this to defy my wishes, she knows my feelings on this as we have discussed it many times. My H was not thrilled but thinks we should let it go. I am not sure how to react. Please for someone who is reading this and is more level headed than I....tell me what to do/not do.