I'm self-sufficient, and make good money, but this is an expensive town and money only goes so far.
I'd be in a much more comfortable position (and DCUM Middle Class) with a spouse earning similarly to me.

Also, it would be nice for someone to share life with. But need - absolutely not. And in another lower cost of living town, it would solely be for companionship.

Well, speaking only for myself, I wanted to get married because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with someone, rather than just cohabiting.

Anonymous wrote:I believe the point from the other thread, according to one poster, was so you could live in a house rather than a condo. That seemed to be the main selling point.

But if 95% of people are getting married in the US - that leaves no one to buy all those condos! And condos are going up everywhere. There must be millions of empty condos in this country.

If a single person has a great life, he/she would have to weigh the value of committing to another person. Men do this all the time - they are reluctant to settle down when they have money, freedom, interesting work and hobbies, good friends. When men do it, they are enjoying the good life! If a woman does it, she is...too independent, etc.

The world is changing, and lots of women have these same high-paying jobs now - with all the perks listed above.

Other than to have kids - and to appease the social expectations in America - there is really no reason for any person to settle down. That is why there there has been a huge increase in women getting inseminated and having kids by themselves - there is no need to compromise the life you love just to be married.

If you are in a relationship with someone who is genuinely your soulmate, more power to you. But I wouldn't give up the many great things in my life for less than that. That doesn't make me too good for marriage, it just means that I don't think that marriage makes most people happy. It provides a social construct for raising kids, and financial protection. But I don't think that being chained to someone legally guarantees happiness.

Most women I know get married because they want kids, and it is easier to raise them with an additional income and the structure of marriage.

By the time you get to 35, people think there is something wrong with you if you are not attached or don't want to be. Spinster, Peter Pan - there are lots of words for it. Most people give in to that societal expectation.

I believe the point from the other thread, according to one poster, was so you could live in a house rather than a condo. That seemed to be the main selling point.

I think it is the social pressure to get married. An unmarried man is a bachelor having fun, an unmarried woman having fun is a spinster or floozy. Having a husband is like a social barrier protecting you from mean comments.

Well, no one has to get married and many don't. I reject OP's premise. But to the extent seemingly committed single women get married I'd chalk it up to the ol' biological clock. DW was formerly a single professional women in her 30's but when it was time it was time. Like, now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I can't help but wonder if it's like "I've made this life choice and I'm stuck with it so now you have to be too!" Or at the very least, "I want this thing (having a husband) to give me some kind of social value or status, so I'm going to make not having one sound absolutely horrible".

It seems very.... suspicious to me. Especially because the reasoning behind "you have to get married" often seems to be "married people will ostracize you if you don't", which comes off as more like a threat.

Pssst.... you're completely wrong....

Oh gosh... are you the same very persistent "women need to get married" poster from the Eligible men thread? You have a very distinctive posting style.

Anonymous wrote:I agree. I can't help but wonder if it's like "I've made this life choice and I'm stuck with it so now you have to be too!" Or at the very least, "I want this thing (having a husband) to give me some kind of social value or status, so I'm going to make not having one sound absolutely horrible".

It seems very.... suspicious to me. Especially because the reasoning behind "you have to get married" often seems to be "married people will ostracize you if you don't", which comes off as more like a threat.

Pssst.... you're completely wrong....

I agree. I can't help but wonder if it's like "I've made this life choice and I'm stuck with it so now you have to be too!" Or at the very least, "I want this thing (having a husband) to give me some kind of social value or status, so I'm going to make not having one sound absolutely horrible".

It seems very.... suspicious to me. Especially because the reasoning behind "you have to get married" often seems to be "married people will ostracize you if you don't", which comes off as more like a threat.

You should never marry because you need to. Bad marriage.
You marry because you want to. Good marriage.
I'm 49 and have known that since I was a little girl.

It's not about dependency. It's about being free to make the life choices you think are best for you.

OK.

Anonymous wrote:Reading the quality men thread and kind of shocked. Why are educated women with means to become economically self sufficient so eager to find a husband/mate? In today's world, an educated woman with a good earning potential doesn't NEED a man to survive or be happy.

Is it the older women on dcum that are still trying to drill old fashioned ideas of dependency on men into younger women's heads?

I find it so backwards and regressive. Let's not stop our young women from living happy independent lives where they can build a nice for themselves with or without a man!

Honey, you are so cute.

Reading the quality men thread and kind of shocked. Why are educated women with means to become economically self sufficient so eager to find a husband/mate? In today's world, an educated woman with a good earning potential doesn't NEED a man to survive or be happy.

Is it the older women on dcum that are still trying to drill old fashioned ideas of dependency on men into younger women's heads?

I find it so backwards and regressive. Let's not stop our young women from living happy independent lives where they can build a nice for themselves with or without a man!