Anonymous
02/20/2016 09:07
Subject: No sibling contact after serious medical condition
How often did you keep in contact with your siblings before? Are either of your parents alive? If you didn't keep in touch with your siblings before and you're not talking to your mom all the time - how do you even know they know? Some people just aren't talkers.
Anonymous
02/20/2016 08:52
Subject: No sibling contact after serious medical condition
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Come from a fairly large family (all adults now) and I was recently in the hospital with a sudden serious health issue, currently out of the hospital but I suspect I'll be going back in for follow up procedures in the near future and my long term outlook is unknown. During this time a couple of my siblings haven't even bothered to make contact to see how I'm doing or even do something as simple sending a text message.
I'm not looking for anyone's sympathy but I find it strange that a sibling would be so non caring. Other sibling feels that as long as the others heard the news/updates, there's no real reason for contact.
To be honest I'm a little discussed with them now and find it hard to keep a normal relationship with them. Am I wrong to feel this way? They seem pretty pathetic to me right now.
I called my sibling after he lost his job (again). They have kids and he seemed to also be having health issues (mental kind - he told another family member and write some about it on Facebook) and you worry about the stress on them. So I called, wanting to offer whatever they needed - dinners, babysitting, even money if they needed it.
My SIL told me it was none of my business and hung up on me. I only got one sentence out and that was it. My brother then said that that was the last time he tells anyone anything.
Um, so, next time something happens to them I won't be calling them.
Has anything like this gone down like this in your family? Any bad juju? That could be a reason?
It depends on how you said it. Honestly just reading your post I picked up on the undercurrent. You said he lost his job, AGAIN.
Anonymous
02/20/2016 08:44
Subject: Re:No sibling contact after serious medical condition
The whole spiel about not wanting to overwhelm the person is BS. You reach out to the person; it let's them know they are cared for and loved and have a support system. Make a brief phone call or send a text or email or card. I have sent texts and emails to my boss during difficult times, how can I not to my family? What good are they if they can't rally around during an illness and difficult times?
Anonymous
02/20/2016 08:31
Subject: No sibling contact after serious medical condition
Anonymous wrote:Come from a fairly large family (all adults now) and I was recently in the hospital with a sudden serious health issue, currently out of the hospital but I suspect I'll be going back in for follow up procedures in the near future and my long term outlook is unknown. During this time a couple of my siblings haven't even bothered to make contact to see how I'm doing or even do something as simple sending a text message.
I'm not looking for anyone's sympathy but I find it strange that a sibling would be so non caring. Other sibling feels that as long as the others heard the news/updates, there's no real reason for contact.
To be honest I'm a little discussed with them now and find it hard to keep a normal relationship with them. Am I wrong to feel this way? They seem pretty pathetic to me right now.
I called my sibling after he lost his job (again). They have kids and he seemed to also be having health issues (mental kind - he told another family member and write some about it on Facebook) and you worry about the stress on them. So I called, wanting to offer whatever they needed - dinners, babysitting, even money if they needed it.
My SIL told me it was none of my business and hung up on me. I only got one sentence out and that was it. My brother then said that that was the last time he tells anyone anything.
Um, so, next time something happens to them I won't be calling them.
Has anything like this gone down like this in your family? Any bad juju? That could be a reason?
Anonymous
02/20/2016 08:08
Subject: No sibling contact after serious medical condition
This happened to me too, OP. I ended up cutting off all contact afterwards. It was just the straw that broke the camel's back. I was always low on the totem pole and they just didn't give a shit. In fact, my mother wanted me to feel sorry for my one brother bc no one sent HIM an update on how I was doing. I was shocked. Was I suppose to call him from ICU? Were his fingers broken that he couldn't pick up the phone?
Some people are just assholes.
Some people are just assholes.
Anonymous
02/20/2016 08:08
Subject: No sibling contact after serious medical condition
I understand you feelings, but a word to the wise...
In my family, everyone would be calling everybody. In DH's family, they feel that as long as one person keeps contact and lets the rest know, it's fine.
And actually, DH's family is very caring and supportive. They just don't show it in the same way. My family is all about communication, but when someone needs actual practical help, like money or coming over to cook, nobody's available to help.
Anonymous
02/20/2016 08:08
Subject: No sibling contact after serious medical condition
I have a big family and we haveone sibling who tends to be the one to gather and share all the information about serious stuff. She is also the one who organizes if they need more. She is the main communicator of the family. The rest of us step back a bit and wait a few days so as not to overwhelm the person going through a crisis. We do all usually send a quick thinking of you/prayers type text or email, to be opened at the person's leisure.
Perhaps something like that is going on?
Perhaps something like that is going on?
Anonymous
02/20/2016 08:03
Subject: No sibling contact after serious medical condition
So sorry, OP.
Has your DH posted about this too? If not, there is another couple going through the exact same thing as you. Guess lots of families suck!
Has your DH posted about this too? If not, there is another couple going through the exact same thing as you. Guess lots of families suck!
Anonymous
02/20/2016 07:36
Subject: No sibling contact after serious medical condition
I could imagine hesitating to call if you feel the sick person/family has too much going on already, especially if there are many siblings. I felt this way a bit when my father was recently ill and the 6 of us kids were constantly wanting to check in - it was a hard balance. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, they may be hesitating to call because they don't want to be an imposition, especially if you have a strong local support network taking care of you and giving updates.
That said, I'd also be a bit hurt if they didn't at least text, email, or send a card.
That said, I'd also be a bit hurt if they didn't at least text, email, or send a card.
Anonymous
02/20/2016 07:00
Subject: Re:No sibling contact after serious medical condition
How many live in the area close by?
Anonymous
02/20/2016 06:57
Subject: No sibling contact after serious medical condition
Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry, OP. That's unbelievable.
+1 It is unfathomable to me.
Is it a surprise to you, or is their behavior pretty much consistent with how they've always been?
Wishing you well, OP.
Anonymous
02/20/2016 05:46
Subject: No sibling contact after serious medical condition
I'm so sorry, OP. That's unbelievable.
Anonymous
02/20/2016 02:25
Subject: Re:No sibling contact after serious medical condition
To make matters worse, no even bothered to call my spouse while I was in the hospital to see if anything was needed.
Anonymous
02/20/2016 02:05
Subject: No sibling contact after serious medical condition
Your feelings are understandable. How hard is it to send a message or make a quick call saying they're thinking of you and asking how you are?
Anonymous
02/20/2016 02:00
Subject: No sibling contact after serious medical condition
Come from a fairly large family (all adults now) and I was recently in the hospital with a sudden serious health issue, currently out of the hospital but I suspect I'll be going back in for follow up procedures in the near future and my long term outlook is unknown. During this time a couple of my siblings haven't even bothered to make contact to see how I'm doing or even do something as simple sending a text message.
I'm not looking for anyone's sympathy but I find it strange that a sibling would be so non caring. Other sibling feels that as long as the others heard the news/updates, there's no real reason for contact.
To be honest I'm a little discussed with them now and find it hard to keep a normal relationship with them. Am I wrong to feel this way? They seem pretty pathetic to me right now.
I'm not looking for anyone's sympathy but I find it strange that a sibling would be so non caring. Other sibling feels that as long as the others heard the news/updates, there's no real reason for contact.
To be honest I'm a little discussed with them now and find it hard to keep a normal relationship with them. Am I wrong to feel this way? They seem pretty pathetic to me right now.