Why don't you just give her a thank you for not using birth control card?

I'd just give them on a random day as a "we live you and appreciate you" random gift. She can still brag but you aren't obligated to do it on a regular basis.

Dear lord, how stupid!

Anonymous wrote:"Thanks for pushing my husband out of your vagina".

Jesus. My MIL would puke, as would any right-thinking person if their SIL or DIL tried to pull a stunt like this.

+1

"Thanks for giving birth" sounds weird and awkward but I like the sentiment. I heard that Ronald Reagan sent Nancy's mom flowers every year on her (Nancy's) birthday and I thought that was sweet.

Um, no. They are "kind of stupid" and "getting credit" is not a good reason to do it. If you want to get credit from your mother-in-law why don't you and DH coordinate gift buying and get her something from each of you. It's ok if your culture does this, but if they don't, not sure how your MIL will take it if she's not sentimental.

Get her a special "MIL" bouquet or card on Mother's Day that is just from you. Figure out what she needs help with and help her with that. If she is practical she will appreciate that more than flowers.

"Thanks for pushing my husband out of your vagina".

Jesus. My MIL would puke, as would any right-thinking person if their SIL or DIL tried to pull a stunt like this.

Dumbest idea ever

Or why don't hou send her flowers when your baby is born with a "congratulations grandma" and a note about how happy you are to have her as the baby's grandma

I think it needs to be a tradition.

Could you do it on a "big" birthday like 40?
That way it is the gesture but not randomly a couple years after marriage and then repeated yearly

Sure. My parents friends call them on my birthday and congratulate them on raising me etc. but that's just something that's done in our culture and it's totally normal. I don't send my mom flowers in my bday but my dad does.

I think it's cute. My MIL would love it, and would not create drama in future years I did not do it. Though to be sure maybe save it for a milestone birthday?

Oh Lord.

I love my MIL, but I would not do this. It's just one extra thing to forget about then agonize over. I can barely remember my wedding anniversary, so this is not for me.

A co-worker's wife sent his mom flowers for co-worker's birthday as a "thanks for giving birth" gift. Apparently others have heard of this as well (I had not).

My MIL isn't sentimental at all, but she loves things that she can brag about on Facebook. I think sending her flowers on DH's birthday would be something she'd enjoy for exactly this reason (plus, I'd actually get credit for it-- even though I do all the Mothers Day/birthday/Christmas shopping, she only ever thanks DH for those).

We've been married a couple years, so this would sort of be out of the blue, but we're expecting our first kid, and I feel like I may need to do some nice things for MIL now, because I know that she and I have very different views on things, and I fully expect there to be some tension when baby comes.

Two questions:
1) If I do this one year and forget in subsequent years (because... baby/life/whatever), am I just setting myself up for drama? (I send my grandmother flowers every Valentines day.... and it went from being a nice surprise to a "oh, when your flowers came late this year I just assumed you forgot me," passive aggressive thing.)
2) Anyone have a similar IL situation, and is there a way to preemptively build up goodwill -- through something like the above, or something else entirely-- so that when I'm cranky post-birth and say something less than tactful, she'll be more forgiving?
3) Are "thanks for giving birth" flowers just kind of stupid? (I sort of think so -- at least when we're talking 30+ years after the fact-- but then again, I haven't done it yet, so maybe I'll feel differently a few months from now).