OP I am so sorry. All I can tell you is that I have been there as a mom too. I found out by checking my daughter's phone and then made her show me. I was lucky to catch the first one and two years later, she is still okay. The sad thing is that it is VERY common with girls ages 11-20. Many follow what other girls are doing (that is what mine did) and some unfortunately find it soothing and addicting.

She needs help, caring, love, understanding. She needs the support of friends, family and school. Make sure the school counselor is made aware.

Get to the bottom of it but don't harp on it immediately. Take her away a few days. Just you and her. Pull her out of school and take off work. Tell her all the mistakes/regrets/embarrassing things you did in school. Tell her how you overcame your hardest obstacles. LOVE HER. Is she being bullied? Is she in the closet? Is she too stressed with school? Is there an underlying learning or mental disorder? It could be minor, it could be major.

Do what you need to do. Move her to a new school if needed. Just let her know you will love her no matter what.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'd ask the hospital and your daughter's therapist for some recommendations for an intensive outpatient program (IOP). A good one in DC is Potomac Behavioral Solutions but there are many others. An IOP is a step down from inpatient but more intensive day treatment than just seeing a therapist a couple of times a week.

thank you! i will definitely ask ncuding the dr they are sending to speak with us.

OP, I'd ask the hospital and your daughter's therapist for some recommendations for an intensive outpatient program (IOP). A good one in DC is Potomac Behavioral Solutions but there are many others. An IOP is a step down from inpatient but more intensive day treatment than just seeing a therapist a couple of times a week.

My thoughts are with you. We had issues with my ds cutting.

thanks for the responses so far. yes, they are sending in a psychiatrist and a social worker to talk with us. DD does see a psychiatrist outpatient and she is on meds for depression and anxiety (and I watch her take them, just in case, though she's not the kind of kid who is generally inclined to mess with that).
she is TERRIFIED t the idea of going into a hospital--she said she almost didn't tell me because she was scared I would force her to go. She still is actually. she's shaking like crazy. Obviously i want her to go if that's the only way to keep her safe but equally I don't want to traumatize her further, you know?

Is she taking medication? Starting or changing that might help. Does she see a psychiatrist for medication management? If not, it would be better than going through a family doctor.

I'm so sorry, OP. Don't have any personal experience, but think you should ask for you daughter to be admitted for inpatient care.

I used to cut. You need to get to the bottom of why. I was sexually abused.

I'd request a psych evaluation. You are already at the hospital. If you gave the doctor an honest story, it may well have already been ordered. I'm sorry. My nephew cuts and honestly, we are all terrified and don't really understand it at all. It was a real shock.

Yes, get resources at the ER (they are likely also doing a mental health evaluation of her safety) and put a call in to both the individual therapist and the group therapist. The individual therapist would, I expect, want to meet with her tomorrow.

its very scary, but she reached out to you for help when she needed it, which is a good sign. I would trust the opinions of the psychiatrist at the ER and her therapist in deciding next steps. Cutting is usually not a suicidal move, but they need to determine whether she is able to stay safe right now while additional treatment is put into place.

You will get through this okay.

Anonymous wrote:I'd request that she be admitted to an adolescent psych unit.

This. She needs help now. Good luck op & sorry for what you are going through.

I'd request that she be admitted to an adolescent psych unit.

I didn't want to read and not comment. I'm sorry, OP, this must be really hard. No advice, because my kids are younger. I'm glad she has you to support her.

Ask to be connected with further resources while you're at the hospital. They should be able to put you in touch with someone who can help immediately.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I was a cutter as a teen and I had no idea what I put my parents through. If it helps at all, it did stop. And I went on to graduate college cum laude and create a wonderful healthy family of my own.

i'm sitting in an ER with my 16 yo DD. we knew last year that she was cutting occasionally but never badly. nonetheless it was really scary and we got her into therapy, individual 1x week and a group therapy once a week that focuses on girls with self harm issues. we'd thought things were improving. dd had a really tough couple weeks at school and with her peer group and i got home from taking sons out--dd was with our younger daughter--and my 16 yo texted me and asked me to come upstairs. while we were gone she'd cut herself so badly that i could see fat and tissue gaping. told DH to come home with other dd immediately and the second he did--20 mins later--left the house with dd. dr has been in and says she needs stitches and he will come back in in a little bit and do it.
i'm terrified. does anyone have any ideas? i already called her therapist and left an urgent message.