My best friend is 42 and really wants a husband and a baby but it's looking like it won't happen anytime soon. She is beautiful, kind, smart and independent. She was in a long term relationship with a man who kept telling her she was the one but he wasn't ready to settle down. He also did not want to have a baby. After years of being together she gave him an ultimatum and he walked. A year or so they broke up my friend found out that he had a girlfriend who was pregnant. It devasted her. She finally got I to another relationship with someone who she settled for and eventually grew to love but he lied about money and at 45 was really bad with his finances. He owed so much on his credit card and he was buying new cars and motor cycles. She found out he was in a huge amount of debt and still spent money recklessly. He had her buy a motorcycle on his name when he accidently forgot his wallet at home. This was the deal breaker for her. She is now depressed about the fact that she may never become a mother and it's all she has ever wanted.

Most I've met are newly divorced.

I did meet one though who said she was raped in college and after that, could never bring herself to have a man near her.

I think she is smarter than the average woman.

Well, you just described my best friend since high school - and I think she's awesome.

In her case, she's been looking but just spent the last 5 years taking care of her mom through cancer and passed away. Before that, she just wasn't in a hurry.

I totally judge woman by woman. Some are weird, it's true. But most are just lovely people who haven't found the right person yet.

I feel like people think there's something wrong with me, but I go on 3-4 trips per year, sleep in on weekends and do what I want when I want. Yes it would be nice to find a partner, but I won't settle.

Anonymous wrote:If they are otherwise good on paper....I think they likely wasted their prime dating years in a bad or dead end relationship. And now are left with not a whole lot of desirable choices since most of their male counterparts are married or dating younger.

I think the difference with the man on the other thread - successful, attractive, charming - he is highly desirable (on paper) with far more opportunities for dating and marriage.

Politically incorrect, but yes. I'd never say it though!

A lot of these women were either overly picky in their youth, or not nearly picky enough.

Why harsher for men than women?

Anonymous wrote:Nothing at all. Maybe it's unfair, but I would think men of the same age has commitment issues. But not women.

wrong, man can make baby for many more years through age 50, where as women have problems after age 40

Nothing at all. Maybe it's unfair, but I would think men of the same age has commitment issues. But not women.

If they are otherwise good on paper....I think they likely wasted their prime dating years in a bad or dead end relationship. And now are left with not a whole lot of desirable choices since most of their male counterparts are married or dating younger.

I think the difference with the man on the other thread - successful, attractive, charming - he is highly desirable (on paper) with far more opportunities for dating and marriage.

mental disease or defect

I think they're me! Because I'm 39, never married with no kids. Now, I'm also newly an aunt, and a big village to a close friend who's a single parent and I work and volunteer. So I think I'm perfectly normal. And would assume someone else like me also is. I have a few friends my age and older who don't have or want kids, despite liking other people's kids.

The same thing I think about the men which is along as they are happy with where they are in life and a good person good for them.

I don't pass value judgments on people based on their marital and procreation status.

Side topic from the one posted about a 50 year old man.