Very tough choice, OP, but my advice is Go For It! If you have an infant and your DW is not happy in her job, then why not?? If this is your dream job, then accept the conservative area and the cold as the price you have to pay to make the next step in your career.

You won't stay there forever. You'll move up and out. So plan on having a nice house and lifestyle that you enjoy. And don't be too judgmental about the conservatives. You'll find liberals hidden even in the most conservative places. An extremely liberal couple I know live in flyover country in a very conservative town. They have tons of friends and are very happy there. Politics isn't everything. Diversity might be an issue, but that's something you're going to have to judge for yourself based on how you feel you're treated. Make a number of visits with your family and see how it goes.

Best of luck to you.

P.S. Milwaukee or Green Bay are fine places to live. Green Bay is in Door County, which is lovely, and filled with Chicagoans during the summer. You'll be surrounded by liberals from June through September.

Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like you are talking about Milwaukee. I live in the upper Midwest and also grew up in NYC. The problem I have is how insular places like Milwaukee, Detroit, St. Louis, and Cleveland are. Very few people move in and out. Most of the people grew up, went to school, and married someone locally and have never lived anywhere else. Your spouse is going to go up against people who have friends and family in the area forever. If its a 2-5 year stint, fine, anything else, not great. Cheap housing isn't the only thing in life.

Milwaukee is a great city, great place to live, very close to Chicago, so this can't be Milwaukee!

Anonymous wrote:We did it and regretted it. I missed being able to walk places, and being surrounded by people who care about the things I care about. As a white person with kids of color, I was also STUNNED by the casual racism that folks threw around in what they perceived as all-white safe spaces. I lasted three years before I insisted we leave again.

We did it and found that with lower COL we can afford a house close-in and now we walk everywhere! Lower cost of living = much lower stress, which balances a lot of other negatives. Tough choice! GL

Madison would be great. Milwaukee would be fine. Greenbay would be tough transition. Although Door County is lovely in the summer.

Other than a bigger house, what would there be in that area for your spouse and children? From your post it sounds like they'd be giving up a lot to move, what would they get in return?

Greenbay?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did it and regretted it. I missed being able to walk places, and being surrounded by people who care about the things I care about. As a white person with kids of color, I was also STUNNED by the casual racism that folks threw around in what they perceived as all-white safe spaces. I lasted three years before I insisted we leave again.

That's why it's important for OP to post more info. The location does make a difference. Cleveland is not the same as Ann Arbor.

+1
There are dozens of places in "flyover country" I would live.

OP, sounds like you are talking about Milwaukee. I live in the upper Midwest and also grew up in NYC. The problem I have is how insular places like Milwaukee, Detroit, St. Louis, and Cleveland are. Very few people move in and out. Most of the people grew up, went to school, and married someone locally and have never lived anywhere else. Your spouse is going to go up against people who have friends and family in the area forever. If its a 2-5 year stint, fine, anything else, not great. Cheap housing isn't the only thing in life.

Op here - it's been a dream of mine to get this type of job at this type of company. We have no family or friends nearby. I did a quick google search and the nearest cultural life related to our religion is 2 hrs away. Spouse is attorney but not super happy. DC is infant. No recognizable universities. There is a pro sports team.

Really this has been my dream job for 10+ years. But, cheddar cheese is not mu forte and I grew up in NYC.

Anonymous wrote:We did it and regretted it. I missed being able to walk places, and being surrounded by people who care about the things I care about. As a white person with kids of color, I was also STUNNED by the casual racism that folks threw around in what they perceived as all-white safe spaces. I lasted three years before I insisted we leave again.

That's why it's important for OP to post more info. The location does make a difference. Cleveland is not the same as Ann Arbor.

Depends so much on the city. Are there colleges/universities? that helps a lot. I believe you can make a great life anywhere, but I grew up in a military family so I have a lot of experience starting out new and creating a community. It takes work, though!

We did it and regretted it. I missed being able to walk places, and being surrounded by people who care about the things I care about. As a white person with kids of color, I was also STUNNED by the casual racism that folks threw around in what they perceived as all-white safe spaces. I lasted three years before I insisted we leave again.

Depends on so many factors. Industry you work in, ease of finding a new job for yourself and spouse, stability of the job, what diversity means to you, how important that may or may not be, the schooling in the city, whether or not you mind cold (I don't), how big the "flyover" city is, whether it has colleges/universities which help with the overall feel of a city...on and on and on.

You might have more luck with more information. Your question is a bit too vague for anyone to give much concrete info. Spouse job sounds like it might transfer after licensing period, so that might be good.

Maybe post city and industry info?

It would depend on how much your spouse wants to work, how many community and family connections you have here, and how old your kids are. From what you posted so far the only thing you would gain is a bigger house but if your spouse really wants to quit working and you have no family or friends here then the calculus changes.

Interviewing for a VP job at a company. Their HQ is based in -what DMVers would describe as flyover country. But housing is 70% cheaper like $200k buys you a fancy 5 bedroom house in a nice suburb.

My spouse would have to give up job for a while and do childcare. It would take a year to relicense in the new state. My salary would be equal to what we both make in DMV.

Let's say diversity is non existent in the city. We fall into the "diversity" category. Weather is cold.. Not a lot of cultural stuff; very conservative (we are liberals).

Worth considering? Or is quality of life more important.