Anonymous
Post 02/07/2016 06:15     Subject: Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
Anonymous wrote:OP again. DS is, however, a nice kid. Compassionate, good friendships, doesn't intentionally disobey, not rude, he's just says the opposite.


This makes me think your ds doesn't have ODD. Kids with ODD are often very angry, difficult children.
Anonymous
Post 02/07/2016 06:12     Subject: Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
Along these lines, I would add that you could turn his oppositional statements into an opportunity to let go of negativity --

"The stairs aren't clean, they are dirty!"

Really Larlo? Your standards are so high, I guess I just didn't see it that way. It's great that you are able to look at the little details other people miss.

FIND SOMETHING GOOD IN WHAT HE SAYS.

Read Kazdin.



Anonymous
Post 02/07/2016 06:06     Subject: Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Agree that you need help in any case. ODD has always seemed like a really questionable diagnosis to me.


Only questionable because you don't live it everyday. Granted, doctors say it is too early to determine if DS has ODD or a mood disorder that may morph into something more serious with age. OP, if you question ODD or contrarian, chances are the answer is contrarian. ODD is not just when a child disagrees with a parent. It is constant disagreement over almost everything- from food to homework to minor aspects of life---- challenging every rule. A "disagreement" ranges from verbal arguments to destruction of property to physical altercations. If your spouse did the same things as an ODD child, you could press charges or at least file for divorce. With a child, treatment is therapy and medication and more therapy. There are good days and bad days but I guarantee you that our good days would look like a bad day in a regular home. ODD means that you always have a safety plan in the home and a backup plan if you desire to go out, even to run errands.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20024559

We are prayerful that the intense therapies (including several hospitalizations) and medication will eventually help- before DS's behavior gets him locked up or worse. And we rely heavily on support groups to get through daily life because it is like living in a war zone. Always on edge because you never know what will set DS off.


OP here. Thanks for this insight. DS basically says the opposite of what we say. For example, if we're walking up the stairs and I say, "the stairs are dirty," he'd respond, "they're not dirty." If I say, "it's suppose to rain tomorrow," he'd say, "no I heard it's going to be sunny." It's with just about everything and causes many arguments. Frustrating, especially to coaches and teachers.


Could be a symptom of ODD. But could also be a symptom of a frustrated or depressed child or a child who knows how to press your buttons or a child who feels like this is the way he knows how to be heard and he's not heard conversationally or that you don't listen to him unless he makes contrary statements.

I'm not going to play "fault the mom/dad" but have you engaged him when he says stuff like this? Asked him why he thinks the stairs are dirty or said "Really, are you listening to weather reports, that's great that you are tuned in." Be encouraging and accessible rather than rolling your eyes?
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2016 23:27     Subject: Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
Anonymous wrote:OP again. DS is, however, a nice kid. Compassionate, good friendships, doesn't intentionally disobey, not rude, he's just says the opposite.


OP, stop turning to Dr. Google. Honestly, it doesn't sound like there's anything amiss with your kid. If you are truly concerned then get an evaluation.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2016 22:07     Subject: Re:Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
Anonymous wrote:Sounds exactly like my DS. He has ADHD and hid meds have the added benefit of cutting down on some of his contrariness. He has always been very verbal too so while other preschoolers were having tantrums, he was correctly people. If someone said, "I like your blue shirt" my DS would say, "It isn't blue. It's aquamarine." Exhausting! I learned faily quickly not to engage any of that behavior. I learned quickly to just say, "Mmm" or something else non-committal.


Haha, funny but not. Op here. Exactly my son and it's exhausting. I'm learning to not engage. What is it that makes them do that? I mean it's so obvious they are just wrong, but he still has to debate.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2016 18:17     Subject: Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
15:10. I feel you. Our DS has FASD and ODD behavior is a byproduct of that. Is like living with a toothache all the time.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2016 18:12     Subject: Re:Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
Anonymous wrote:Sounds exactly like my DS. He has ADHD and hid meds have the added benefit of cutting down on some of his contrariness. He has always been very verbal too so while other preschoolers were having tantrums, he was correctly people. If someone said, "I like your blue shirt" my DS would say, "It isn't blue. It's aquamarine." Exhausting! I learned faily quickly not to engage any of that behavior. I learned quickly to just say, "Mmm" or something else non-committal.


+1. DS with ASD/ADHD is like this too when not on his ADHD meds. Really obnoxious and contrary. I was told by DS's psychiatrist that this is classic behavior for kids with ADHD and you know when the medication is working when this type of behaviors no longer is happening.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2016 16:24     Subject: Re:Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
Sounds exactly like my DS. He has ADHD and hid meds have the added benefit of cutting down on some of his contrariness. He has always been very verbal too so while other preschoolers were having tantrums, he was correctly people. If someone said, "I like your blue shirt" my DS would say, "It isn't blue. It's aquamarine." Exhausting! I learned faily quickly not to engage any of that behavior. I learned quickly to just say, "Mmm" or something else non-committal.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2016 16:07     Subject: Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
OP again. DS is, however, a nice kid. Compassionate, good friendships, doesn't intentionally disobey, not rude, he's just says the opposite.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2016 16:03     Subject: Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Agree that you need help in any case. ODD has always seemed like a really questionable diagnosis to me.


Only questionable because you don't live it everyday. Granted, doctors say it is too early to determine if DS has ODD or a mood disorder that may morph into something more serious with age. OP, if you question ODD or contrarian, chances are the answer is contrarian. ODD is not just when a child disagrees with a parent. It is constant disagreement over almost everything- from food to homework to minor aspects of life---- challenging every rule. A "disagreement" ranges from verbal arguments to destruction of property to physical altercations. If your spouse did the same things as an ODD child, you could press charges or at least file for divorce. With a child, treatment is therapy and medication and more therapy. There are good days and bad days but I guarantee you that our good days would look like a bad day in a regular home. ODD means that you always have a safety plan in the home and a backup plan if you desire to go out, even to run errands.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20024559

We are prayerful that the intense therapies (including several hospitalizations) and medication will eventually help- before DS's behavior gets him locked up or worse. And we rely heavily on support groups to get through daily life because it is like living in a war zone. Always on edge because you never know what will set DS off.


OP here. Thanks for this insight. DS basically says the opposite of what we say. For example, if we're walking up the stairs and I say, "the stairs are dirty," he'd respond, "they're not dirty." If I say, "it's suppose to rain tomorrow," he'd say, "no I heard it's going to be sunny." It's with just about everything and causes many arguments. Frustrating, especially to coaches and teachers.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2016 15:23     Subject: Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
I would have the child evaluated. All teachers and parents and caregivers can do behavior rating scales that will show if this behavior is across all settings, in which case it probably is ODD. It is exhausting. These kids can make a battle over everything all day, so you need intense behavior managements help and therapy. Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2016 15:10     Subject: Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
Anonymous wrote:Agree that you need help in any case. ODD has always seemed like a really questionable diagnosis to me.


Only questionable because you don't live it everyday. Granted, doctors say it is too early to determine if DS has ODD or a mood disorder that may morph into something more serious with age. OP, if you question ODD or contrarian, chances are the answer is contrarian. ODD is not just when a child disagrees with a parent. It is constant disagreement over almost everything- from food to homework to minor aspects of life---- challenging every rule. A "disagreement" ranges from verbal arguments to destruction of property to physical altercations. If your spouse did the same things as an ODD child, you could press charges or at least file for divorce. With a child, treatment is therapy and medication and more therapy. There are good days and bad days but I guarantee you that our good days would look like a bad day in a regular home. ODD means that you always have a safety plan in the home and a backup plan if you desire to go out, even to run errands.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20024559

We are prayerful that the intense therapies (including several hospitalizations) and medication will eventually help- before DS's behavior gets him locked up or worse. And we rely heavily on support groups to get through daily life because it is like living in a war zone. Always on edge because you never know what will set DS off.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2016 10:09     Subject: Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
Agree that you need help in any case. ODD has always seemed like a really questionable diagnosis to me.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2016 08:02     Subject: Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
Either way, you probably need help. Contact Alvord Baker.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2016 07:13     Subject: Oppositional Defiance or just contrarian?
What does ODD look like on a daily basis and what are the different degrees of ODD? I'm wondering if I have an ODD kid or just difficult and challenging at times?