Sounds like she won't let it go. You can't do anything about her behavior - you can only adjust your behavior. Be professional, do your job well, ask for advice from her when needed, keep conversations short, and keep away from her. I'd also keep CYA notes in case she creates problems for you.

Anonymous wrote:NP here. Interesting, NJ PP. I am from NJ too and genuinely have had to moderate my no BS style, I've just never thought about it as northeast thing till now. It's so much easier, though, when people just say what they mean!

NJ PP here. Yes indeed in DC I also have to moderate my style. It is often mistaken for being rude but in reality I was just brought up to tactfully say what I mean. However, I have learned that the definition of tact is regional. Regardless what you think of his politics one of my favorite examples was Governor Christie when one of the hurricanes were coming a few summers ago (not Sandy) and he went on TV to urge people to evacuate coastal areas and said "It's 4 o'clock, you got your suntan, now get the hell off the beach". It's not really mean but it's definitely not PC. Also when Sandy hit right before the election he could give a shit what anyone thought about him appreciating that POTUS came to visit and help out with damage assessment and he basically said as much. That's real NJ stuff right there regardless of all of the other BS.

NP here. Interesting, NJ PP. I am from NJ too and genuinely have had to moderate my no BS style, I've just never thought about it as northeast thing till now. It's so much easier, though, when people just say what they mean!

NP - Wonderful advice!

Anonymous wrote:There is someone that is superior to me, but less educated and knowledgable. The "break" that happened in our relationship was when I corrected her. Ever since then she is very dismissive, treats me very callously, etc. How do you move forward? I've tried to show her more respect, but nothing much has changed.

I think this can be repaired but it may take awhile. The question is, as a few others have noted, do you actually respect her? I am a very technically proficient male scientist with 3 bosses. One of them (the highest ranking one) is a woman who knows nothing about my field but is hands down my favorite boss. Do you know why? because she has this amazing ability to see gaps and other things that I don't and has a knack for expressing herself in an authentic way. sometimes she borders on being a little harsh, not mean, but no BS like in a Northeastern way. Growing up in NJ I love that direct feedback style. I mean she really knows very little about my area but just kicks the shit out of being a manager, and for that I respect her big time - especially since she is acutely aware that she knows almost nothing about my scientific area. If, in fact, you do actually respect her I think you need to come up with ways that you can demonstrate that respect within your working relationship. Try to see where she is adding value and take actions to support that. You have to manage up in this world sometimes. Talk is cheap. Not sure, but if this has something to do with her just being a woman then just grow up already. I'm not saying that is the problem here but if it is you better button that shit up now and open up that mind. The inherent differences between women and men bring strength to an organization when there are women and men working side by side in leadership. This is the fact of my experience. Period. End of story. Finally, if you do not actually respect her for whatever reason then there's not much you can do.

Anonymous wrote:You are dismissive of her; she is dismissive of you.

Look, in your career, you are going to be supervised by many people who have less substantive knowledge than you. Supervision is not about substantive knowledge. It's about organizational knowledge.

You need to be subordinate. You are subordinate.

+1. Pretty clear indicating that someone is not ready for a management role is that they completely misunderstand the management role. Whining about your boss not knowing how to do your exact job means you have a lot to learn.

You don't. You move on.

As someone who once locked horns with my boss, you win the battle but lose the war.

You are dismissive of her; she is dismissive of you.

Look, in your career, you are going to be supervised by many people who have less substantive knowledge than you. Supervision is not about substantive knowledge. It's about organizational knowledge.

You need to be subordinate. You are subordinate.

Do you respect her? Because it sure sounds like you don't, and that's probably pretty obvious to her.

Did you apologize?

There is someone that is superior to me, but less educated and knowledgable. The "break" that happened in our relationship was when I corrected her. Ever since then she is very dismissive, treats me very callously, etc. How do you move forward? I've tried to show her more respect, but nothing much has changed.