Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 13:08     Subject: I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
My sister has a cleaner come in every Friday. She comes home to a sparkling clean house she gets to enjoy the entire weekend, every weekend. Perfect for entertaining.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 13:02     Subject: Re:I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because you weren't nagging him all weekend, that's why.

Some people dont' mind things messy. A good compromise is to get a cleaning person on a routine basis. THat's waht we do.


Luckily I don't have these issues in our house because we both like a clean and orderly house. DH is not asked to pitch in, he just cleans up as a member of the family. However, what you are suggesting here, I'm curious about.

So, if you don't clean, do you just leave all your dishes for the cleaning service? Do they come a few days a week? Do you throw your clothes after removing them for the day on the floor and have the cleaning service do it? If you mess the counters and spill things, do you just leave it? What about the trash, does someone take that out? Do the kids leave their toys whenever they want? Since you don't like cleaning, do you hold your kids to the same standard of just leaving it for the cleaning company? How many days a week do they come?

I ask this because although we are neat, we still have a cleaning company once a week. We do all own dishes, laundry, wiping of counters, run a broom vacuum when the floors get too dirty, keep the papers/bills organized, expect the kids to clean up after themselves, and generally put things away after we are done with them. SOMEBODY has to do that, at least in our house. And that SOMBEODY are the people who live in the house. When the cleaning company comes, they mainly just do the deep cleans that involve chemicals, mops, and scrub brushes.


In our hosue:

DH does dishes (due to timing of when we do dishes)
DH takes out trash
DW does kids and her clothes. DH does his own laundry
Kids are made to clean up their own toys.
Counter spills are cleaned by person who spilled
General wipedown by DW (since DH isn't bothered by it)
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 12:54     Subject: I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
Awesome OP, sounds like you need some rest like your DH and most of the rest of us, except the type A "scrubby people."

Sounds like it is time to get a cleaner to come in every so often, if you can afford it.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 12:51     Subject: Re:I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
filthy lazy pigs

Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 12:45     Subject: I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
I can't stand dirty bathrooms. Gross. Our DD has asthma and allergies. There is no way I will let the house be that dirty.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 12:20     Subject: I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
Cleaners will clean, but you have to pick up / declutter beforehand. I think OP needs an actual housekeeper.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 12:18     Subject: I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
I did the same and just hired a cleaner. Now DH is so used to the house being clean that he actually cleans more as well.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 12:18     Subject: Re:I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
Anonymous wrote:Because you weren't nagging him all weekend, that's why.

Some people dont' mind things messy. A good compromise is to get a cleaning person on a routine basis. THat's waht we do.


Luckily I don't have these issues in our house because we both like a clean and orderly house. DH is not asked to pitch in, he just cleans up as a member of the family. However, what you are suggesting here, I'm curious about.

So, if you don't clean, do you just leave all your dishes for the cleaning service? Do they come a few days a week? Do you throw your clothes after removing them for the day on the floor and have the cleaning service do it? If you mess the counters and spill things, do you just leave it? What about the trash, does someone take that out? Do the kids leave their toys whenever they want? Since you don't like cleaning, do you hold your kids to the same standard of just leaving it for the cleaning company? How many days a week do they come?

I ask this because although we are neat, we still have a cleaning company once a week. We do all own dishes, laundry, wiping of counters, run a broom vacuum when the floors get too dirty, keep the papers/bills organized, expect the kids to clean up after themselves, and generally put things away after we are done with them. SOMEBODY has to do that, at least in our house. And that SOMBEODY are the people who live in the house. When the cleaning company comes, they mainly just do the deep cleans that involve chemicals, mops, and scrub brushes.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 12:18     Subject: I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
Sounds promising, OP! If you can outsource the cleaning up, or get your kids to do more if you have kids, go for it!
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 12:08     Subject: I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I fight every day and are miserable. This weekend, I did what he does-relax and do no housework. The house was trashed by the end of it, but we didn't fight at all. Coincidence? I don't think so.


Is a perpetually trashed house a price you're both willing to pay to avoid fighting?


I don't know...maybe!



Yes stop nagging, he's showed you he won't change. Fork out the money to have a cleaner come once a week, that way you both win and you are still married. There's always a compromise.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 10:18     Subject: I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DH and I fight every day and are miserable. This weekend, I did what he does-relax and do no housework. The house was trashed by the end of it, but we didn't fight at all. Coincidence? I don't think so.


Is a perpetually trashed house a price you're both willing to pay to avoid fighting?


I don't know...maybe!
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 10:18     Subject: I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
Anonymous wrote:DH and I fight every day and are miserable. This weekend, I did what he does-relax and do no housework. The house was trashed by the end of it, but we didn't fight at all. Coincidence? I don't think so.


What is your point?

Hire a maid if you want the house clean AND want to relax. If cleaning isn't a priority to your DH you win no medals being smug about not cleaning as he doesn't. You make no point, either.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 10:15     Subject: I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
Anonymous wrote:DH and I fight every day and are miserable. This weekend, I did what he does-relax and do no housework. The house was trashed by the end of it, but we didn't fight at all. Coincidence? I don't think so.


Is a perpetually trashed house a price you're both willing to pay to avoid fighting?
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 10:14     Subject: Re:I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
Because you weren't nagging him all weekend, that's why.

Some people dont' mind things messy. A good compromise is to get a cleaning person on a routine basis. THat's waht we do.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2016 10:13     Subject: I stopped cleaning up the house and haven't had a single fight with DH
DH and I fight every day and are miserable. This weekend, I did what he does-relax and do no housework. The house was trashed by the end of it, but we didn't fight at all. Coincidence? I don't think so.