Eh, I learned after five years of being married that DH is not a gift giver. I just buy what I want I'm lucky since I have good taste.

I'm a DH who is a horrible gift giver, at least with regards to DW. But...DW can leave the house at 10 AM, shop all day, and come home with nothing saying, "I just couldn't find anything I liked."

And...I'm supposed to?

For 15 years at Christmas and Birthdays I'd buy dozens of things for her, hoping at least one or two would hit the mark. It was wasteful and fruitless. So for the last five years she basically shops for herself and gives the stuff to me to wrap and give back. I try and slip a couple of thoughtful surprises in but they're rarely more than attempts to demonstrate that I tried.

Sorry ladies. Unless you have some identifiable interest or unique desires, most men aren't going to be that great at shopping for you.

My DH has never gotten me a gift. He grew up without gift giving in his family, and it's just not something he does. I'm cool with it because he's an A+ DH all around and shows me lots of love all the time.

If gifts are super important to you, i can see why you'd have a problem.

But if he manages to make you feel loved in other ways, I wouldn't focus on this. Sometimes life is what you make it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh is great but a horrible gift giver. I have to tell him exactly what to get me and he will get it for me. I wish I did not have to and that he would put some thought and get me a gift by himself.

"I really wish DH was able to read my mind. I'm a woman, I'm entitled to get exactly what I want without ever having to communicate it."

-OP

She said she tells him...I don't know why you guys get so defensive about this crap

She said she tells him, but she wishes she didn't have to. That's the point. She wants him to read her mind.

DW here, and I'm an awful gift-giver, too. It takes a LOT of work and a penchant for noticing the little details that some people don't have or don't cultivate, because their brains focus on other things.

My DH isn't that great, either. But what works for me is if we are somewhere special, and I say I like something, he buys it right then and there for me. Yes, I know, it is our money, and not a surprise. But it may be a piece of jewelry or ceramics or art or something that I don't NEED and wouldn't buy for myself. I like it better than when he picks something out. And it is instant gratification.

Of course, I love surprises, but you know, you can't have it all.

I still find it very difficult to buy for my DH, but I've been trying to buy him experiences, which works out very well for him, and me, we have less stuff in the house. He's more likely to buys his own "stuff" and not hold back like I do.

So, maybe, are you looking for the surprise, or the actual gift? Maybe that can help you determine how to steer your DH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh is great but a horrible gift giver. I have to tell him exactly what to get me and he will get it for me. I wish I did not have to and that he would put some thought and get me a gift by himself.

"I really wish DH was able to read my mind. I'm a woman, I'm entitled to get exactly what I want without ever having to communicate it."

-OP

She said she tells him...I don't know why you guys get so defensive about this crap

If you didn't give him ideas, would he not get you anything, or would get you something but it was clearly an afterthought gift? Or is he the kind who tries to get you something you'll like, but just doesn't have good judgment about what that is?

Anonymous wrote:Has he ever bought you a gift "by himself" and received a less than enthusiastic reaction from you? Many of us have been burned by this.

Do you actually know what your wife likes? My husband is a terrible gift giver. I thought it was enough while we were dating to say, "You can't go wrong with jewelry, flowers or a nice soft sweater." I was wrong. He has no taste at all. Now I buy all my own gifts and wrap them up for him to give me. Just not his forte. His entire family of origin is terrible at giving and receiving gifts - they only want exactly what they want.

Meh. Mine is too. He loves giving presents but never knows what. So the solution is a running Amazon wish list and he can get whatever from it and I'll be happy and slightly surprised.
He has plenty of other wonderful qualities so this is just one of those things that I got over. Is much rather have this list and him being supportive and understanding and planning for our lives together.

Anonymous wrote:My dh is great but a horrible gift giver. I have to tell him exactly what to get me and he will get it for me. I wish I did not have to and that he would put some thought and get me a gift by himself.

My DH does not buy me gifts at all. He used to tell me something was on the way, or that we'd go on a ski trip! and then never go, etc. When I did actually get a gift, it was usually terrible. I finally decided the gift giving had to stop on both sides. I now no longer hold resentment for trying to get him something thoughtful. He shows me he loves me a hundred ways every day. I don't need him using shared money to "figure out" some tangible object that I might like instead. Just let it go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh is great but a horrible gift giver. I have to tell him exactly what to get me and he will get it for me. I wish I did not have to and that he would put some thought and get me a gift by himself.

"I really wish DH was able to read my mind. I'm a woman, I'm entitled to get exactly what I want without ever having to communicate it."

-OP

Oh shut up. It's well documented that for some people this is how they communicate love.

OP it turns out this isn't your DH's love language. Don't set him up for failure. If he's great all around then get over it.

Has he ever bought you a gift "by himself" and received a less than enthusiastic reaction from you? Many of us have been burned by this.

Why do you need gifts? I'm asking seriously. If he's a horrible gift giver, would you even enjoy his gifts? Just buy yourself what you want for your birthday/anniversary and then be happy with spending time with him instead.

Anonymous wrote:My dh is great but a horrible gift giver. I have to tell him exactly what to get me and he will get it for me. I wish I did not have to and that he would put some thought and get me a gift by himself.

"I really wish DH was able to read my mind. I'm a woman, I'm entitled to get exactly what I want without ever having to communicate it."

-OP

My dh is great but a horrible gift giver. I have to tell him exactly what to get me and he will get it for me. I wish I did not have to and that he would put some thought and get me a gift by himself.