If you want to see both of the Harry Potter themed lands, you will definitely need the park to park ticket. Hogwarts is at Islands of Adventure and London/Diagon Alley is at Universal Studios. In order to take the train back and forth between the two, you'll need to have a valid theme park ticket for both.
The theming very well done. Yes, it will likely be packed (especially the newer London area) -- but if you are able and willing to go first thing in the morning, you should be able to see a decent amount before it gets super crowded around lunchtime. The major attractions (Forbidden Journey, Gringotts, and the train ride) are the busiest, so it's a good strategy to hit one of them first thing and then take your time browsing the shops and scenery.
If you're just planning to hit HP attractions, don't bother to get the Express Pass -- it's not valid for the major rides at each park.
You can bring bottled water and small snacks into the park. Unlike WDW, you can't pack a lunch and bring it in. Check the Universal website for more details.