In my late 40s, and before kids DW was much more sexual. Kids pretty much ruined our sex life. Since having kids DW is in the mood 1-2 times a month - usually a couple of days before her period and a couple of days after. If we happen to miss those days - if I'm traveling for work or she isn't feeling well or hasn't slept well or a kid is sick or ....- then it just doesn't happen. As she's gotten older her finicky-ness about sex has increased.

So, we have a nearly sexless marriage. We live the old joke about the family pack of condoms - one for January, one for February, etc.

Oops, I was trying to reply to this poster. Some nearly sexless marriages just work for the people involved. Sex isn't everything, important yes, but many other things go into a successful marriage. Some people just become more like best friends, and that's okay with them. Hopefully, they are not in their 20s or 30s, because that would really suck.

09:03

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW and I are most compatible but mismatched libidos. I would love sex 5-7x per week. She is happy 1x per week (which is an improvement from 1x per month when kids were little). Also, she is very vanilla, which is fine, but spice on occasion would be nice.

Now that we are 1x per week, its a manageable gap. When it was 2 weeks no sex our marriage was miserable.

Why post in the sexless marriage thread at all? At its most sexual, my marriage was once weekly.

Can someone explain why they are married if they are in a sexless marriage? I'm not asking the aggrieved party but the ones who refuse to have regular intimacy with their spouse (or who just don't make it a priority). It seems extremely cruel to the other partner. Why marry someone to subject them to a lifetime of no intimacy?

DW and I are perfect for each other in nearly every way, except mismatched libidos. I'd like twice a week but would be happy with once a week. We have sex maybe once every three weeks but I'd guess she could be happy with even less. She's post menopause.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW and I are most compatible but mismatched libidos. I would love sex 5-7x per week. She is happy 1x per week (which is an improvement from 1x per month when kids were little). Also, she is very vanilla, which is fine, but spice on occasion would be nice.

Now that we are 1x per week, its a manageable gap. When it was 2 weeks no sex our marriage was miserable.

Why post in the sexless marriage thread at all? At its most sexual, my marriage was once weekly.

This isn't a sexless marriage thread. Read the OP more closely.

Anonymous wrote:DW and I are most compatible but mismatched libidos. I would love sex 5-7x per week. She is happy 1x per week (which is an improvement from 1x per month when kids were little). Also, she is very vanilla, which is fine, but spice on occasion would be nice.

Now that we are 1x per week, its a manageable gap. When it was 2 weeks no sex our marriage was miserable.

Why post in the sexless marriage thread at all? At its most sexual, my marriage was once weekly.

DW and I are most compatible but mismatched libidos. I would love sex 5-7x per week. She is happy 1x per week (which is an improvement from 1x per month when kids were little). Also, she is very vanilla, which is fine, but spice on occasion would be nice.

Now that we are 1x per week, its a manageable gap. When it was 2 weeks no sex our marriage was miserable.

Anonymous wrote:

Latinlover04 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How compatible are most people with their partners? How often would you like to have sex, ideally, vs how many times your partner would say it's ideal? I'd like to think my husband and I are on the same page, but I am not sure anymore. We are definitely not in a sexless marriage, but maybe his idea of a sexually satisfying marriage and my idea are different.

Try a flirty friend....I'm a good guy friend

Dude seriously? Go back to explicit.

Sorry just trying to be humorous.....keep your head up things should hopefully level out!!!!

Latinlover04 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How compatible are most people with their partners? How often would you like to have sex, ideally, vs how many times your partner would say it's ideal? I'd like to think my husband and I are on the same page, but I am not sure anymore. We are definitely not in a sexless marriage, but maybe his idea of a sexually satisfying marriage and my idea are different.

Try a flirty friend....I'm a good guy friend

Your solicitations are very awkward and uncomfortable. DCUM is the most pathetic place to try to pick up women anyway. Go shovel some snow.

Latinlover04 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How compatible are most people with their partners? How often would you like to have sex, ideally, vs how many times your partner would say it's ideal? I'd like to think my husband and I are on the same page, but I am not sure anymore. We are definitely not in a sexless marriage, but maybe his idea of a sexually satisfying marriage and my idea are different.

Try a flirty friend....I'm a good guy friend

Dude seriously? Go back to explicit.

Anonymous wrote:How compatible are most people with their partners? How often would you like to have sex, ideally, vs how many times your partner would say it's ideal? I'd like to think my husband and I are on the same page, but I am not sure anymore. We are definitely not in a sexless marriage, but maybe his idea of a sexually satisfying marriage and my idea are different.

Try a flirty friend....I'm a good guy friend

Anonymous wrote:How compatible are most people with their partners? How often would you like to have sex, ideally, vs how many times your partner would say it's ideal? I'd like to think my husband and I are on the same page, but I am not sure anymore. We are definitely not in a sexless marriage, but maybe his idea of a sexually satisfying marriage and my idea are different.

An AP is "affair partner"

As to your questions:
How compatible are most people with their partners? We are very compatible. Best friends. Same values. Same drive.
How often would you like to have sex, ideally, vs how many times your partner would say it's ideal? We have sex 3-4 times a week as a baseline but share some type of intimacy daily. We both think this is about right for our ages and our current lives (ie our kids)

You should definitely talk with your DH. My DH and I talk about sex. We flirt daily. Just ask him and try to listen without taking anything he says personally. Its hard I know but just really hear him and his ideas and then express yours.

Also, what is an AP?

How compatible are most people with their partners? How often would you like to have sex, ideally, vs how many times your partner would say it's ideal? I'd like to think my husband and I are on the same page, but I am not sure anymore. We are definitely not in a sexless marriage, but maybe his idea of a sexually satisfying marriage and my idea are different.