It looks like you two are simply a better match divorced than married.

And that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Be grateful that it wasn't an ugly acrimonious divorce because not many people can say that!

Anonymous wrote:Why is it that we have been divorced for just over a year and are getting along better than we EVER have???
Anyone "rekindle" with your ex husband, but stay divorced?

We grew apart.
We fought constantly.
We differed on parenting views.
We mismanaged our money.

Now, we don't fight, we discuss and agree on parenting issues. We handle our finances separately and we don't argue.
It's as if living apart has brought us closer.

Is this crazy??

Do you knock boots together?

No, it's not crazy.

Sometimes being in the thick of a stalemate with your spouse in a stressful situation can make you feel like you are dying and need to escape ASAP. But when you get breathing room, your feelings come back and you are more level-headed.

I have never been divorced but I have had a few periods where I desperately felt like I wanted to divorce because of stress and fighting. When we manage to break through those periods we usually feel more connected than ever for a nice stretch. I would like to think the difficult periods are getting fewer and farer between, but who knows. Life is crazy and marriage is hard because you are completely entangled with another human being.

My parents divorced and remarried and they have been happily married now over 30 years. It can happen.

I had a period with my ex wife where after being very mean to me she changed how she was acting and over a period of about 6 months of getting along I started to think that maybe we can work things out but then something happened (I don't know what) she started with the crazy phone calls multiple times a day and messing with pick-up and drop-off times for the shared custody. Started having her friends call me asking about what I've been doing. I decided there was no working it out with her. I think with her it is cyclical between crazy and almost normal but I can never let my guard down.

Get the book Crazy Time. It covers all of this. You may have the beginnings of a remarriage. Or you may just be starting to experience a good divorce. As somebody still in the process of divorcing, that book is always at the top of my towering stack of self help books and it is a gem.

Good luck, OP. Take care of you. On the day I left my husband, I wrote him a letter (wasn't safe to tell him in person) that, among other things, quoted the song, "I Will Always Love You." You will never really be over him. That doesn't mean you should get back together. But only you can know and tell (and test over time) whether you should. It happens. The author of Crazy Time has a new book out you might consider buiying, too (I haven't yet - not anywhere close to there) which deals with, among other things, "Boomerang Marriages," which is what yours would be if you remarry.

Aggain, best of luck. I love happy endings, too, even though I don't think mine will come with my ex, but yours might!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Great! I Love a DCUM happy ending! Just in time for the snow storm! Buy him a bottle of wine just to show him that you're getting along better.

It couldn't hurt.

Who doesn't love a happy ending!?

Masseuses?

Anonymous wrote:Great! I Love a DCUM happy ending! Just in time for the snow storm! Buy him a bottle of wine just to show him that you're getting along better.

It couldn't hurt.

Who doesn't love a happy ending!?

Free refills!

Anonymous wrote:Great! I Love a DCUM happy ending! Just in time for the snow storm! Buy him a bottle of wine just to show him that you're getting along better.

It couldn't hurt.

It could definitely hurt their kids. OP, tread carefully. If you and XDH do start dating, don't tell your kids until you are really committed to getting remarried. This is what most kids of divorce dream about, and if you were to get back together and then separate again, it will be crushing to them.

I know several couples that divorced and got back together and are happier than ever now. One of them is a close relative. It does happen more than you think.

Great! I Love a DCUM happy ending! Just in time for the snow storm! Buy him a bottle of wine just to show him that you're getting along better.

It couldn't hurt.

Because things that bothered you are as important anymore because you know you don't have to live with them for the rest of your life

It didn't happen to me (shudder), but my therapist warned me that some couples experience a sort of divorce honeymoon period when they start to have second thoughts about the relationship. She said that these couples rarely do better the second time around because they didn't really resolve the problems, they just stop fighting because it's easier to evade them when not living together.

Why is it that we have been divorced for just over a year and are getting along better than we EVER have???
Anyone "rekindle" with your ex husband, but stay divorced?

We grew apart.
We fought constantly.
We differed on parenting views.
We mismanaged our money.

Now, we don't fight, we discuss and agree on parenting issues. We handle our finances separately and we don't argue.
It's as if living apart has brought us closer.

Is this crazy??