Anonymous wrote:Why are you having such a strong reaction to this? Politely but dismissively acknowledge and move the conversation to something work related: "yes, that sounds difficult, anyway, on another note, have you reviewed those reports?"

Not OP, but have dealt with the same issue. As someone who made a conscious choice to pay a premium to live near the metro, in a modest dwelling, I really have no interest in hearing from other people how horrid their commute is. Move, or deal with it quietly.

ASk her if she would like some cheese with her whine. Every day. SHe will probably get it by day 7. If not - just keep repeating.

Instead of asking the "How are you" question, you could initiate the workday by making a positive comment about anything that comes to your mind.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you having such a strong reaction to this? Politely but dismissively acknowledge and move the conversation to something work related: "yes, that sounds difficult, anyway, on another note, have you reviewed those reports?"

I guess because it's like Groundhog day. We have the same conversation every day. And it doesn't seem to change regardless of what I say or do. I am looking for other jobs.

Why are you having such a strong reaction to this? Politely but dismissively acknowledge and move the conversation to something work related: "yes, that sounds difficult, anyway, on another note, have you reviewed those reports?"

It seems that this person has a complaining mentality - if it's not the commute, it will be something else.

Tell her that people who complain constantly bring morale down, are viewed very negatively, and will be the first to go. It's the truth anyway.

OP here. I have said that I didn't want to hear about her commute anymore, but then she told me that I just don't get it because I live so close.

I MOVED here. I used to live in DC previously, but realized the commute would be too rough.

Maybe you should STOP asking how she is if you don't want to hear her complain. Keep the conversation work related.

tell her that you no longer want to hear about her commute and that she might not realize it but that her constant complaints about commuting is essentially the sum total of who she is in your eyes.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I also get annoyed by people who willingly choose to live in bumblef*ck exurbs so they can afford a mcmansion or whatever, and then complain about their 2 hour commutes.

Me too.

Stop initiating any small talk with her, don't ask "how are you" or anything like it and definitely no open ended questions.

Shut her down with "I really can't chat right now" any time she starts to complain.

Just stop engaging in anything not specifically work related with this woman.

Anonymous wrote:You can stop asking her how she is.

She will drop by to tell me about the traffic and horrible commute even if I don't ask. Today was a 15 minute tirade on what snow will do to her commute.

You can stop asking her how she is.

Yes, I also get annoyed by people who willingly choose to live in bumblef*ck exurbs so they can afford a mcmansion or whatever, and then complain about their 2 hour commutes.

Every damn day I talk to my coworker and every day it's just complaint after complaint about the commute. "How are you?" "Traffic was so terrible, accidents everywhere, the toll on my car is horrific, people can't drive..." She often tells me I can't relate since I have a short commute.

Today I just snapped. I told her she should move closer. That's what I did after all and our work is in a nice VA suburb, so housing costs are less of an issue. I've even told her to look for other jobs (she has 1.5 hours each way). I'm just so sick of hearing about the commute. What more can I say? It's really affecting my relationship with the coworker because I need to work directly with her, but can't stand the constant complaints.