I think it is tacky. If they stayed there without you for a week, of course they should pay for it to be cleaned. But staying there a day or two with you -- no. You are their guest. You can do the dishes or take the trash out, but other than that -- your house, your responsibility. When you start to make the condition of the house, the cleaning of the house, the maintenance of the house a priority, then the house seems more important that the guests. Next time you come over, could you bring a vacuum cleaner and do some deep cleaning ?? If having guests seems to make the house not work for you, have less guests over.

From someone with a family second vacation home - not tacky. You're picking up quite a few of the costs of them staying there - the associated utilities.
I would, when having someone outside the family stay at the house, and you're extending the invitation, you'll have the cleaning company scheduled for X, the cost is Y, and they're responsible for picking it up, it's the "price of admission" for otherwise getting a free vacation at the beach (that would usually cost them several thousand dollars depending on time of year).

We have a similar house and ask people to pay the cleaning fee if we aren't there. Obviously if we have guests we don't ask that since the cleaners come anyway. My view is that I don't want to show up after people have been there and have to clean up after them. And in my experience people who say they will clean it don't do a thorough job at all. Our cleaners are about $175. The utilities when someone is there run $100-200 week depending on AC usage etc. we don't expect guests to cover that.

Perfectly reasonable.

Definitely. Just let them know you're happy to let them stay but ask they pay $X for cleaning. The mooches won't will this weed themselves off your list of guests and the normal people will be happy to.

Op here. I guess part of my hesitation is that it appears that we are loaded and I don't want to appear stingy asking for $150-200for a cleaner? Does that make sense?
Is that amount reasonable?

I would never ask for the people that stay with us, it's more the people who stay for a long weekend or a week that I would ask.
It's a 3.5k square foot house and a bear for me to clean. Think outdoor showers and everything.
My friends and family always leave flowers, thank you notes, cookies or whatever and are completely grateful and I appreciate it, but I cannot clean this thing one more time and hate to spend up to 600-800/month for deep cleanings this Summer.
We don't rent it out at all btw

Absolutely NOT tacky. We routinely leave money for the cleaning person every time we go to my parents beach house. It's a very large house and frankly I'd rather pay than clean!!!!

I think fine. They're getting a beach house for free! Paying for cleaning is the least they can do.

More than reasonable.

I would have no problem with that. In fact it would make be feel better about accepting your generosity.

If you offered to let me use a beach house for a long weekend, I'd definitely only accept if I could afford to toss you $250 or whatever to pay for cleaning lady. Maybe you don't have the right kind of friends if they're not offering?

I think so. Generally, the cost of a beach house rental includes cleaning costs. If I were on the receiving end of your generosity, I would insist on paying for the cleaning.

I think you say something to the effect of:
"we let our good friends use the house for free but ask that they pay the standard cleaning fee of $xx when they do"

You are more than gracious by letting others use the house. I also think that when you have house guests for more than a day or two you start doing "clean up" before they leave- they'll hopefully realize that they should help out.

Tacky.

We inherited a million dollar beach house in a prime beachfront location. It's paid off and though the maintenance and costs are more than we ever thought,
we can make it work and are obviously grateful to be able to keep it.
(It's relevant that we inherited it, aka we could not afford it on our own, HHI 200k)

We love to entertain and have lovely friends and relatives that have been respectful and gracious guests, both when we are there and when we are not and have let them stay.

The only issue is that we are spending a lot of time and/or money cleaning when they leave. Deep cleaning is necessary with all the sand, wet sand that is now mud, and magnified wear and dirt even with the most careful houseguests with children.

Is it terrible tacky to ask for people to cover the cost of cleaners when they stay when we're not there?
I would never ask when we are there with them since they are our guests, but is it ok when they stay for free?